Usain Bolt's Olympics

By Mike Johnston

Sometimes I think I just see things backwards from the way most other people see them. I've been trying to get into the hubbub over Michael Phelps, with less than perfect success; my basic take is, the guy's a freak and swims better than anyone else, so he wins whenever he races. Why that makes his contests more interesting to most people rather than less so is something of a mystery to me.

I admit I don't understand swimming. Despite truly endless rounds of serial torture that lasted throughout my childhood (my parents called them "swimming lessons," and persisted with them interminably, cheerfully ignoring the obvious evidence of ineducability that was right in front of their eyes from the start), I'd drown in the shower if I didn't pay attention. So maybe it's not Michael Phelps who's freakish—maybe it's just that, in my view, swimming is.

Who knows why people find certain kinds of contests boring and others thrilling? I love watching golf on TV, for instance, so I really don't understand it when the common complaint comes up that it's dull. But on the other hand, beach volleyball…oh my God. Beach volleyball is about as exciting as watching people play ping-pong with their hands. Wearing flippers. Which I would prefer, actually. The only conceivable purpose I can see in beach volleyball is that it manages the not-inconsiderable feat of making regular volleyball look dynamic, athletic, and strategic. But only by comparison. I'll leave the remote alone for a while when the women beach volleyball players are playing, because of the undeniable appeal of those superbly tall, fit females who look like they could throw me into a headlock I'd never forget, but beach volleyball played by males has got to be the most boring sport ever invented.

Beyond words
I enjoyed the women's all-around gymnastic competition in this Olympics. They, at least, are regularly performing athletic feats that I both understand and find awe-inspiring. Little Shawn Johnson was pictured during warmups at one point bouncing on her toes and then snapping off a quick front flip like a sparkly little fireplug Tigger. The things those women can do on the floor, few sane people would ever attempt on a trampoline.

The big problem with gymnastics is the same as it is with figure skating and high-diving—it's that there's no objective measurement of success or failure. An anonymous panel of judges bestows some arbitrary number, and that's that. It looked an awful lot like bad judging was going to carry the day in the women's all-around, too, at the beginning. But good sense and obvious skill asserted itself, the ship was righted, and the right woman won—Nastia Liukin, scion of Russia and adoptee of my USA, clearly having the performance of the day, was a joy to watch. She pulled off the difficult trick of performances that were both superbly athletic and supremely graceful.

But far and away the most amazing single feat of these Olympics—and possibly one of the greatest athletic feats I have ever witnessed or heard of—was Jamaican Usain Bolt's totally astonishing win in the 100 meters. Running I understand; I was fast as a kid and loved to run. Sprinters are usually stocky, muscular types, and I was tall and (formerly) lanky. I could hang with the best in the 220 and 440 (the measurements were in yards in those days), but I couldn't start fast enough or find enough room to run to beat the best 100-yarders at my school; there was a guy who was about a head shorter than I was, Neil Yashiro, whom, to my immense frustration, I just could not beat.

A sight I never thought I'd see in a 100M

So I never expect to see tall guys doing well in the  100. Then here comes Bolt, a giant amongst the little sprinters at 6'5", loose before the race to the point of arrogance or even silliness, inexperienced, barely out of his teens. For the first forty meters he runs like a tall guy, laboring to get up to speed and barely staying even with the field. Then he turns it on, opens serious daylight between himself and the field, and takes the last 15 or 17 meters to look around, throw his hands back, and pound his chest—and still he breaks his own world record and wins going away. With his shoe untied. The guy easily threw away 5 100ths, if not a whole tenth, on the record he could have set.

Now, racehorses sometimes run away with a race. But sprinters virtually never run away with a 100. If you'd ever told me that a tall guy would have room in an Olympic 100 to use the last 15 meters to celebrate and still win going away, I'd have given you that sympathetic but condescending look we reserve for true fools and the irredeemably ignorant. What happened just can't happen. And yet it did. Astonishing. Beyond words, really.

So anyway, I admit I tend to see things wrong-way-'round. And I'm proud and happy for Michael Phelps (and his Mom, who got about as much air time as he did). Most of my countrymen will identify more with him, for any number of reasons. But when it comes right down to it for me, Phelps, schmelps—this is Usain Bolt's Olympics, first, last, forever. Before he's done, this phenom will set records that will stand for twenty years, mark my words. Sui generis.

____________________

Mike

Copyright 2008 by Michael C. Johnston All Rights Reserved

Video capture: Sports Illustrated

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Comments

[latent_image]

Mike, there are also reports that Bolt dragged his foot at the start. Bolt's performance at the Olympics was the single most astonishing thing I've ever witnessed in sports.

[Brian]

I bet Usain is on performance enhancing drugs. Sorry the win is just too spectacular. Just like Lance Armstrong who was only a good racer each year except for the Tour de France. It just doesn't fit.

[John Camp]

M.J. -- "beach volleyball played by males has got to be the most boring sport ever invented."

Gotta watch those superlatives, like "most boring."

There's target shooting, for example; an absolutely motionless fat guy's gun makes a little "bap" sound, and a hole appears in a piece of paper 25 meters (or whatever) away. If they've really got to do something with guns, I think they should require Budweiser chugalugs every five minutes, during a paintball elimination contest. Drunk guys with guns shooting each other - what's not to like?

Then, there's synchronized swimming, which mostly takes place underwater; you gotta be firmly attached to a water pipe to even tolerate it, much less understand it.

The **whole point** of beach volleyball is the woman. Do you think they got on TV because of the deathless quality of the matches? I think they should be handicapped, with "best ass" getting a three-point advantage.

I would also pay to see cat fights between female "Miss World" contestants from whichever countries are at war with each other during that Olympics. Russia vs. Georgia, the U.S. vs. Iran, India vs. Pakistan, Syria vs. Israel.

Good stuff -- maybe I'm a little strange, but I might also be a TV programming genius. I can guarantee that the cat fights and the paint ball wars would get the ratings. (Please God, don't let a TV programming guy see this note.)

JC

[Magumi]

And now imagine being a decathlonist - even if you win all of your disciplines, you get just one medal and next to no recognition.

Speaking of less popular sports, the greatest difference between the gold medal winner and the rest of the pack that I know occurred in powerlifting. In his best years, Ed Coan pressed, lifted and squated 20% more than the second best - that's the equivalent of a 10.5-meter long jump, running 100-m sprint in under 8 seconds, or swimming 100 meters free style at around 35 seconds.

[Hertz-Eichenrode]

Regarding Bolts you meet exactly my sentiments. He has brought my attention back by pure fascination. The pharmaceutical circus called sports shifted my respect down over the years. But it was seeing this Mr. Bolts in the heat, running about 50 meters, relaxing for the rest and finishing at 9,92 which got me back into. 9,92 in relax-mode… I did not get why the reporters still spoke of three favorites for the final. So I got back to the front of the TV and excited about that century-run. Maybe irrational, but plain fun. As law specialist I am used to counter my prejudices by the assumption of innocence, well, esp. in those cases where my sympathy is strong. It has to be strong since this doping issue is alive for me since my age of 12, when I admired the running style of Valery Borzov - f.e. http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuvV2TAqyu4 – since rumours about wide spread use of anabolic steroid-tests went along and a good friend of mine, decathlete at the local athlets club, a few years later proved that practice on his behalf even down on local level.
But such a talent like Bolts is sensational. So tomorrow I´ll get home to the TV in time to see the heats of 200 m…Would like to see him trying long jump – he could become the actual Carl Lewis (who btw was not that small with his 1,91m, wasn´t he?); as long as the assumption prevails...
Regards
hertz

[Chris]

I doubt there was ever a better nickname than "Lightning" Bolt. That guy can fly!

[Damon Schreiber]

I agree with your point of view regarding Bolt versus Phelps. For me those 9.69 seconds were more thrilling than anything in the pool. But again, it's probably more a question of relating to the sport than anything else. I'll also add Shelly-Ann Fraser's name to my list of Olympic heroes this time around. I can relate to her look of unbridled joy after winning the women's 100m. And I'm in awe of the Jamaican sprinters in general. What an amazing accomplishment from such a small and relatively poor nation!

One thing about Usain Bolt: Although he has that long-eared-puppy look, he's been a sprinting professional since 2004, so in a sport with short careers, I'm not sure qualifies as inexperienced, although it's true that he wasn't a 100m sprinter until about a year ago.

[Roger S]

I actually found Bolt and Phelps quite similar--physical marvels who quickly took control of their respective races, blew by the field and smashed world records. Both are exciting to me.

I like beach volleyball, too--it's amazing how much court two people can cover. Beats long distance running as a spectator sport.

[Mike J.]

Roger,
Fair enough!

Mike J.

[James]

I have difficulty with the moniker the Tv wants to give him of greatest olympian ever (Phelps); largely because there are a lot more people who run than swim. lets face it, in order to swim you need infrastructure not available in a lot of places. But running, it doesn't get much more straight forward. The fastest person alive. Honestly I wanted it to be Tyson Gay's olympics; I am disappointed.

[Ben W.]

I love the whole spectacle of the Olympics, even in sports I care not a whit for during the rest of the year. However, as a former rowing coxswain, I should point out how much work goes into "making it look easy." Talent alone is rarely enough. For a crew to row at a lower stroke rate than the competition, and thus have enough left in the tank to sprint away at the end, means countless painful hours building their fitness level and refining their stroke. I'm sure there are other swimmers with Phelps's body type, but it was his attention to training and technique that capitalized on it.

On a related note, the Chinese are relentless in their study of success and the application of disciplined training. If their Project 119 is any indication, look for a "Chinese Phelps" and perhaps a crop of tall sprinters at the London Olympics, or the one after that.

[Jernej]

You'll probably revisit this topic a few months or perhaps years later when these guys fail their drug tests. I'm sorry but there's really no getting around it. Believing it's not true is just naive. Then again, you may think I'm a pessimist, which is fair ;)

As far as boring vs. thrilling sports go... I've spent so many years in the pool it's impossible for me to miss events such as this. I got up at 4am every day to watch the finals (we've got you guys to thank for that, switching heats/finals around to align with your prime time)
For me it is absolutely amazing to watch, and I don't care how boring some (most) people think this sport is simply because I think pretty much all other olympic/normal sports are.

I would watch the 100m run if I could easily find it online somewhere but I don't care enough to solve issues with limited access and such. Everything else could just as well never happen as far as I'm concerned. The really exciting sports usually don't make it on TV anyway.