The Online Photographer

Open Mike: If You Like Light (OT)

[Ed. note: I just added a whole bunch of new "Featured Comments" to the "Unicorn Lens" post.]

Introduction: Well, I wrote this post yesterday but I lost it. It happens. It's difficult to keep everything organized on the computer desktop, and sometimes something vanishes into the ether. I'll start over again and keep it short.

Re the discussion about collecting in last week's "Open Mike," I've decided to deliberately start a collection. My intent is to make a small collection of generally inexpensive quartz watches.

On a more meta level, I want to try collecting something seriously for once in my life—just as an experiment, to see what it's like and how I do at it*.

I've bought four watches already. Which probably sounds exactly like you should be worried for my mental health (and maybe...), except all but one is inexpensive, and the not-inexpensive one would be cheap if we were talking about a lens. Harmless. (I'll keep telling myself that.)

TOP reader Hans Andersen provided my first crucial collecting insight, which is: no impulse purchases. Three of the five watches I've bought so far already seem like they don't quite belong in the collection, and I was wondering why when Hans mentioned this. The light bulb of comprehension flickered dimly. Sure enough, all three were impulse purchases, made late at night with an itchy mouse finger after looking at watches for hours. So that's enough of that now.

My favorite so far is this Seiko. It's a deliberately old-fashioned design (I have conservative taste in watches), with a 1930s Art Deco vibe. The ID code is SGEH79P1. The original retail price was $250 but the watch is nearing the end of its availability—watch designs sell out and once they're gone, they're pretty gone—and Amazon's end-of-model-cycle price on this one is actually lower than the gray market. There was a lower price at CreationWatches but they're sold out now.

It's "just" a cheap watch, but. If you take a step back for a minute, and look at this from an historical perspective and include the technological dimension, it's a wonder of modern manufacture—it's really quite incredible that you can get something this beautiful and this accurate for a measly hundred and six bucks, only 291 years after John Harrison's first marine chronometer and 52 years after the first commercial quartz watch.

You could pay $38,000 for a Patek Philippe Calatrava, I suppose. You'd be getting a watch that resembles this Seiko quite a lot and keeps much, much worse time. One review of the Patek said it was guaranteed to gain no more than two seconds a day and lose no more than three, and that it was "hard to imagine" anything better. Which for a mechanical watch is probably true, but it made me chuckle. A $35 Casio from Wal-Mart keeps better time and yet somehow remains within the bounds of my imagination. Amount of seconds my Seiko is off per day for the first few days: 0. Absolutely zero, with a zed. It's bang on with the atomic clock app.

I'm a quartz guy, if you can't tell. And a cheapskate: for me, the value proposition here is a plus, not a minus. (For the Patek Philippe owner it would be a minus I'm sure. Who wants a cheap, trifling hundred dollar watch? But it adds to the satisfaction for me. To each his or her own.)

So the standout design feature of the SGEH79P1? Almost no one would say this or even notice it, but: no lume. That is, there's no luminous paint on the hands or the indices. And that makes the silvered accents of the watch look lovely in the light. I even posted a short video at Amazon to suggest how the light plays off the watch as you look at it. It's not the most legible watch in the world, but it sure is pretty to look at as you turn it this way and that. If you like light.

And if you want lume, then go whole-hog and get something like that Padi Diver that Dori told us about, with its great big gobs of lume and lume all over the hands. Why be shy? Don't just dip a toe, over the side you go.

It's already clear that accuracy and precision appeal to me, so I'll be timing out my new Seiko to see how this one does in terms of accuracy. Just as a point of interest: decent mechanical watches are accurate to 10–15 seconds a day; decent quartz watches to 10–15 seconds a month; and decent HAQ (high-accuracy quartz) watches to 10–15 seconds a year. Particularly good examples of all three kinds can do better (like that Patek Philippe with its claimed accuracy of three seconds a day), and many examples will do worse, but those ranges are a good ballpark.''

New band! Lizard skin. Note that the color scheme
goes nicely with you-know-who there.

Here we go
Anyway, I wrote out my "principles of collection," and I bought a watch case to keep everything organized, and I'm keeping all the boxes and tags and receipts, and I hope I'll have the discipline to cull the collection and keep it optimized as I go. I'm giving myself a five-to-10-year window to complete the process.

The only thing I wonder about is whether watches will hold my interest enough; unlike photography, there's not that much of an intellectual tradition associated with quartz watches. Appreciation seems to be mostly based on design taste. Is that going to be enough for me, or I am the perfect candidate for a "one-watch collection"? Time, as they say, will tell.

Mike

["Open Mike" is the often off-topic, anything-goes Editorial page of TOP. It appears on Wednesdays, if it's on time.]

ADDENDUM: I'm already wondering how this is going to work...I have five watches, only three of which can be considered "part of the collection," yet they're already competing for "wrist time." I'm wondering how it's going to be when I have more. Frankly, I'm pretty sure I could be happy with one watch, and four might be overkill. On the other hand (everything becomes a pun when it comes to watches), I absolutely love all three of these. They're just beautiful objects. Maybe I should imitate like the late Swatch Group Chairman Nicolas Hayek (scroll down to the second picture)(!).

Book o' the Week:

Byways: Photographs by Roger A Deakins. Damiani, September 2021. Note: PRE-ORDER ONLY. The little birdies are telling me that these will go fast. This is the first monograph by the legendary Oscar-winning cinematographer Sir Roger A. Deakins (born 1949), best known for his collaborations with directors such as the Coen brothers, Sam Mendes and Denis Villeneuve.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Christopher May: "Somewhere at the intersection of the collection post and the favorite prime post, a spark was lit and I'm sort of contemplating starting an 8x10 Tessar-based lens collection. My most used lens for the format is my 12" Commercial Ektar. However, I've already added a few other Tessar derived lenses almost by osmosis:

— 14" ƒ/6.3 Bausch and Lomb Tessar IIb
— 12" ƒ/4.5 Wollensak Series II (tweaked for a little soft focus glow by Jim Galli)
— 12" ƒ/6.3 Ilex Acutar (supposedly designed to emulate the Commercial Ektar)
— 12" ƒ/4.5 Gundlach Radar (which Gundlach tried to claim wasn't a Tessar because it was five elements in three groups but this was just a patent evasion tactic)

"There seems to be no shortage of Tessar derived formulae lenses out there and in the 8x10 lens realm, these are generally on the affordable end of the spectrum. I've always liked the rendering of Tessars and even uncoated examples do all right with a hood thanks to their simple designs and lack of air-to-glass surfaces.

"I really should just spend more time taking photos but the desire to build a specific and focused collection does appeal...."

Mike replies: Ooh, good idea for a collection. Very focused, pardon pun. And I like the Jim Galli association, that's a nice touch for that lens.

Mike Chisholm: "A collection of watches?? Surely not...I sincerely trust you have ring-fenced your Patreon dollars for food, coffee, and the occasional camera or lens.

"That 'one watch collection' sounds perfectly adequate to me. All collectors (except book collectors) are insane. Have you seen Martin Parr's collection of Saddam Hussein watches? Mental! Although in a fun, kitsch kind of way. If it's light you like, though, why not collect light meters, rather than time meters? Besides, you could always replace your one watch whenever time itself gets an upgrade, or the watch wears out, whichever is the sooner."

Mike J. replies: Saddam Hussein watches!? Did you just make that up?

Mike C. replies: "Make it up? Martin's collection is firmly in the category of 'you couldn't make it up.' Exhibit A. Now there you have a collectible of a collection...."

Zyni Möe: "I do not know quite what 'intellectual tradition' means. Also I do not know if there is any kind of intellectual tradition (any meaning) around watch collecting: I suspect you may be right and there is only very small amount of it and it is mostly just shiny jewels for (mostly) men.

"However there is very certainly an intellectual tradition around timekeepers in general. Mostly of course for current timekeepers this is a scientific and mathematical tradition: to understand how an atomic clock works and what limits its accuracy you need good understanding of quite deep physics (I have passing interest in this as very accurate clocks are one thing which can help test General Relativity). To build such a thing, and maybe to fly it in a spacecraft to Mars where it can never fail and never need maintenance, requires extraordinary engineering skill: I know nothing of this but engineering of this kind certainly has its own intellectual tradition.

"As interesting as this is the tradition around mechanical clocks. People still make and study these long after they were replaced by quartz and then atomic clocks. And how a really good electro-mechanical 'free pendulum' clock works is a marvelous wonder: if you just look at one it is not clear at all how they work at all. And there are long disputes between people who think Harrison's ideas are good and those who think he did not understand things (he did not understand things...but his clocks keep very good time, so clearly he understood something else). The nature of errors in clocks was not understood until quite recently: a simple person like me would expect the error to go quite differently than horologists know it really does, and how that works was not sorted out until Philip Woodward did so I think. And some of the clocks made in the early 20th century were very good: someone measured a preserved Shortt clock against an atomic clock and found it was accurate to one second in twelve years and indeed that it was probably as accurate as such a clock could be, since its accuracy may well be limited by the gravitational influence of the water table which can't really be controlled (Sun and Moon tides were both easily seen but can be controlled for).

"Well, all of that is a scientific / mathematical tradition, but these are not less than artistic traditions. And there artistic traditions as well: mechanical timekeepers are often extremely beautiful, and you can go and see galleries of them in museums, and marvel at the beauty of the designs, only some of which is functional, and understand who influenced whom and who worked in whose workshop and so on. And this still goes on: I can not find good pictures of Philip Woodward's W5, but it is described in his book My Own Right Time which is itself a major work in both the scientific and artistic traditions. There is a clock derived from W5 described here. (I think it is not as beautiful, but astonishingly this is a clock you can, I think, buy).

"So, I don't know about watch collecting and I believe you may be correct. But about timekeeping and about mechanical and electromechanical timekeeping yes, there are intellectual traditions here.

"While writing this I discovered that Philip Woodward has died."

Mike replies: After getting your comment I modified the text of the post to state there's not much intellectual interest in quartz watches...at least that I can find so far. It seems barren next to the history and traditions of mechanicals. But I'm happy the original statement inspired this comment, thanks for this.

Al C.: "I was going to submit a list of disparaging comments on your favorite quartz 'dress' Seiko, but managed to catch myself just in time. I am instead going to defend the much-maligned quartz movement.

"There is no question the history of the development of the mechanical movement is rich with inspirations, innovations, and lore. On the other hand, imagine the inspirations and innovations that went into replacing the complications of the balance wheel, escapement etc. with a vibrate-when-excited tiny chip of an abundant, natural crystal! Why do we venerate the former, but not the latter? Because we can mass manufacture cheap and perfect units of the latter but not the former? Which is the greater achievement in time-keeping? Yes, the former allowed us to navigate the longitudes. But the latter has enabled us to explore the universe!

"When we collect something (for 'value,' not personal quirks), what are we saying? A thing is lust-worthy chiefly because it is rare, and impossible or difficult to reproduce? Congrats. The reductio ad absurdum to that logic has given us Bitcoins, and NFTs.

"Compounding the phenomenon is our strange attachment to analog and prejudice against digital. Static-prone LPs doomed by inner-groove distortions are prized over well recorded/remastered CDs. Mechanical movements, even crappy Soviet or Chinese copies become collectibles. Film is preferred over perfectly exposed, perfectly focused digital.

"It appears that none of us is immune to this odd prejudice/nostalgia. Mea culpa. But, it's nuts."

Mike replies: Re your initial point, you kinda did slag my Seiko, via apophasis—that's when you bring something up by saying you're not going to bring it up, as when a politician might say, "I'm not going to mention all the scandals that have plagued my opponent in recent years." But that's okay.

Re your point about quartz, I agree. I do like a lot of older, mechanical/physical things, from stick shifts to paper books to the very physical game of billiards as opposed to electronic and computer gaming. But I was just short of 13 when Seiko introduced the first commercial quartz watch, the Astron, and it wowed me—the technology seemed both mysterious and miraculous. I remember reading everything I could find about it and being frustrated that there wasn't more. Then I worked at the local pharmacy starting when I was 16, which sold watches, and that was right at the time—which turned out to be transient!—when "quartz" was the magic marketing word everybody wanted. I finally got my first quartz watch in '83, as a gift from my Mom. I know many people are fascinated by mechanical watch and clock movements, but I find quartz to be far more fascinating. It's got the magic, in my mind.

I found figures for 2015, according to which, 97% of all watches sold are quartz, but that a large percentage of the profits of watch sales were in luxury mechanical watches. (I would have had to pay to get the exact figures). Money usually drives perception, in my view. If those who make the most money have a vested interest in people believing mechanical watches are superior, then that's what people will believe.

Jayanand Govindaraj: "Welcome to the club. You are hooked for life, whether you know it or not. You will end up like me, collecting JLC and IWC, and seriously considering a foray into Grand Seiko. The only point I am extremely happy about is that I did not get hooked on to collecting cars, which is prohibitive both in terms of cash outflow and storage space, being content with physically small stuff like fountain pens and mechanical watches."

Mike replies: Check out this guy. Whew.

Open Mike: Why a Watch?

[Ed. note: "Open Mike" is replacing "Sunday Support Group" this week because...well, because I wrote this.]

-

I write about photographing so I write, perforce, on consumerism sometimes. (I love that old Englishy word "perforce," although I seldom use it. An adverb "used to express necessity or inevitability," it means "by force of circumstance." It's very rare in modern speech—not sure I've ever heard anyone actually say it—but you'll find it sprinkled here and there in writings by and about the 18th-century Enlightenment authors I enjoy. I'm currently reading a biography of Swift—not Taylor—and a book about the friendship between David Hume and Adam Smith.)

Guy Who Likes Watches
I write about photographing so I write perforce on consumerism, but here's one that flummoxes me. Recently I clicked on a video comparing an extremely expensive watch with an extremely good so-called fake of the same watch. The video kept showing pictures comparing the one with the other, but the pictures were unlabeled, as if I was supposed to be able to tell which was which...and that I could not do.

I ended up thinking the "fake" was misnamed. Actually it's an unauthorized replica. Even the fake costs a thousand dollars, which struck me as absurdly expensive for a watch. Hasn't it been possible to buy a perfectly good watch for a hundred dollars since quartz movements got cheap? Wikipedia tells me the quartz-watch era began more than half a century ago with the Seiko Astron of December, 1969, which cost as much as a mid-sized car at first. I remember that.

Military-style $129 quartz watch. It runs on light, you can wear it water-skiing, and it has illuminated hands. What's not to like?

I don't know what the problem is with a replica Rolex if it costs ten thousand dollars less than the real thing but even an expert can't tell the difference. Except the name; that's a problem. If it's not a Rolex, then it shouldn't be called a Rolex. That's where the fraud comes in. If I were the maker, I'd just call it a Folex (my friend Dan's name for fake Rolexes) and just be up-front that it's a replica.

I'm sure certain patented elements would need to be changed, like the little crown logo. There's nothing wrong, in my mind, though, with replicas. Superformance Shelby Cobra replicas are apparently allowed to use the Shelby and Cobra names now. I don't know the details. But in any event, the new replicas are better than the original cars in just about every way. Except being original.

After fate made me click on that darned watch video, the Dementors of the Internet, AKA the algorithms attempting to take over our lives, decreed that I shall be interested in watches. So watch videos started popping up on my YouTube, watches started appearing in ads targeted at me and in my email inbox—watches all over the dang digi-place. And I sort of am interested, although I didn't know I was. The Dementors aren't right, but they're not wrong. So, being, as I am, online-content-wise, a sheep, I've now watched some more watch videos here and there, and read some articles about watches...you know, just browsing. Which makes the Dementors double down. (Never encourage them.) So now I'm apparently a Guy Who Likes Watches in the files of the invisible but omnipresent Big Brothers of consumerism.

The question
In reality, though, I am, as I said, flummoxed. Why would anyone want a watch?

 

Open Mike: Rebellion

["Open Mike" is the Editorial page of TOP. It appears on Wednesdays assuming Yr. Hmbl. Ed. is feeling compliant and not rebellious.]

-

In my 12-step program, which doubles as my spiritual program, we have a concept we talk about called "rebellion." Stripped to basics, rebellion is when we stop doing what we're supposed to do and rationalize picking up that first drink or drug: "why can't I have an occasional glass of wine like normal people? Just one glass every now and then can't hurt."

When I was getting sober, after a period of about three months of sobriety, I got rebellious and decided to drink just one beer—just one. Amazingly, that one single beer kept me drunk for eight months.

Ha ha, but that's the way it works for us. Being a rebel, an idea to which our society likes to pay lip-service, is dangerous for us. I once heard a story about an alcoholic who, after years of sobriety, decided it was totally unreasonable that he should be deprived of enjoying that occasional glass of vintage wine at genteel lakeside gatherings with sophisticated friends—he spoke the words quoted above. Three weeks later, his sister found him dressed in nothing but his underwear, crouched in a dark clothes closet with the door closed, clutching a half-gallon bottle of vodka to his chest and weeping. So much for one glass of wine. Keep coming back.

Please, no
Well, I think May was a month of rebellion for me. I stopped following my diet, I stopped doing housework, skipped meetings, even stopped doing some of the things I had decided I want to do...I was being noncompliant with my own desires, in other words, which makes no sense. In a way, rebellion is refusing to be an adult. Another term for it is "protest behavior." You're saying, no! I was upset about my brother being sick, and my rebellion was in essence a fight against accepting "life on life's terms." Adults know you have to accept what life throws at you—and at least, be humbly compliant with what you know you have to do for your own good and the good of others in your life.

Photographer David Vestal had a blunt motto that encapsulated that adult attitude: "Do your work."

Taped to my computer

I'm back on my diet now, back to doing housework, back to work on my projects. I stopped rebelling. And I've lost the 10 pounds I gained during my travels. Life is life.

Tip for travelers
In case you're on a whole-food plant-based diet and have trouble eating out, I discovered a fast-food restaurant called Fresh City Express on the Massachusetts Turnpike. It was in a Service Plaza right next to the McDonalds. I had a Thai bowl that I wouldn't mind having again. Another tip, courtesy of my son Xander: Chipotle! Without much trouble you can construct a vegan burrito or bowl that's healthy enough, and delicious. Go easy on the guac.

COVID-19
I was happy to see on the COVID-19 dashboard this morning that Yates County now has 0 active cases and 0 people hospitalized, and only two people in quarantine. This is very good news. And I had three friends over to play pool last night, the first time I've had a group over to play. In fact I saw a record number of friends yesterday, and it was nice.

Meanwhile, the meaning of mask-wearing has flipped. Formerly, you wore a mask to be a good citizen and do your social duty to others, and if you refused to wear one you were showing...well, rebellion. Now if you don't wear a mask it means you've been dutifully vaccinated, and if you wear a mask it shows you're the rebel because you refuse the vaccine! Because of course the vaccinations contain Martian listening devices (or whatever, I don't keep up).

I got the vaccine more or less as soon as I was eligible. I still wear a mask anyway. As rebellion against—?

Shaving, I guess.   :-)

PayPal and eBay
I haven't used PayPal and eBay much in recent years, so I was shocked when I started selling cameras and lenses in my latest closet-dump. The fees have become astronomical. I sold one lens and had to pay a fee of $119! Worse, eBay now insists on direct access to my bank account. I don't mind direct deposit, but—call me old-fashioned—I need approval of outgo. I learned to my consternation that eBay decided I owed it more than $200 and they just dipped into my bank account and took it, without so much as a by-your-leave. It feels like handing your wallet to a pickpocket to hold. I just don't like it.

I don't make you contribute to Patreon. I ask you. If you don't want to, you don't have to.

I'm planning to set up a separate account for eBay in which I'll keep limited funds, and if I can't, I'll just have to stop using eBay...after 432 feedbacks over approximately 24 years. I'll miss it.

But then, how else do you discover new things?

Mike

Product of Interest this week:

As Porsche does with the 911, Fujifilm just keeps refining its perfect pocket camera and making it better and better. Also available from Amazon.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

An Uplifting Dog Story

A dog-loving friend who lives in a pleasant, leafy, shady neighborhood in a mid-sized Midwestern city texted me a nice story the other day:

I was outside today and a car stopped with a man and a woman inside (in their sixties, like me), and they asked if I lived here.

They told me they grew up in my house. They were brother and sister. We talked for quite a while and I asked them if they had a dog. She said yes, Buff.

I told them I had his tag. I had found it 30 years ago while I was digging in the yard and I kept it. They gasped and couldn’t believe it. I went inside and got it and gave it to them.

After that I was convinced they weren’t serial killers trying to get access to my house  :-)  so I invited them in.

We went through every room and they told me lots of stories about every room and old neighbors.

My current bedroom was their grandmother’s bedroom.

It all felt spiritual.

Like something else was driving the situation.

Especially the dog tag. When I found it 30 years ago I just couldn’t throw it away because it belonged to a dog, and a dog someone probably loved, so I kept it. It felt wrong to throw it away. But I always had a feeling there was a purpose.

Anyway it was a goosebumpy experience.

They were super nice people.

Oh, and I always worried the the dog was buried on my property because his tag popped up. I didn’t ever want to disturb his resting place.

But Buff isn't buried here. And that’s good to know.

Executive decisions
Something similar happened to me back in Wisconsin. I lived next to a nice couple who were moving their young family to Oregon. As they prepared to sell the house, they were going to be away for a few days, so they gave me a key and asked me to please come over every day and open the windows for a few hours so the house didn't start smelling musty. On the dining room table, on a tablecloth, they had placed some information pertaining to the house and some sales flyers in preparation for the sale.

A day or two later, my doorbell rang. At my doorstep stood a small, smartly dressed elderly woman with white hair. Curiously, she introduced herself in a friendly manner using only her first name (which unfortunately for my story I have forgotten). She said it like she expected me to recognize it, like she was someone I should have heard of.

"I'm a such-and-such!" she said, brightly, naming her last name. Surely I had heard of the such-and-suches? Afraid not.

It turned out she had grown up in the house next door. She had rung the doorbell, but no one appeared to be home, and did I know where the owners were? She was visiting from another State and hadn't been here for many years.

I attempted to call my neighbors to get their permission to let her into their house, but I couldn't reach them.

Time for an executive decision. I decided she was very likely harmless and was probably telling the truth, and anyway I could stay with her while we were inside. As I had about a hundred and fifty pounds on her, I figured I could probably take her if she tried any funny business. So I let her in. Like Buff's owners, she told me some stories about the house and the neighborhood as it existed long ago...who lived where and so forth.

After touring the house, all neatened for the sale, we stood in the dining room, and she told me more about her family. At one time there were many such-and-suches who all lived on our little street, and people related to her had built a number of the houses on the block. Did I know that the reason the neighborhood was called Doctors' Hill was because most of the people in her family had been in medicine? Her father had been the first doctor to build, and then others had followed. But I had never heard the neighborhood called that. Her opinion of my mental capacities seemed to be diminishing. Did I at least know about the people who used to live in my house? No. I had heard the names of two of the owners before me, but that went back only a couple of decades.

Then something strange happened. The box on the dining room table contained old papers relating to the house—remodeling plans, old maintenance receipts, expired deeds, that sort of thing. And underneath all the papers was an old WWII-era passport.

The old woman opened the passport and her eyes widened in astonishment.

"This is my father!" she said. "Look! It's he!"

She told me the story. Her father had been a Christian missionary, and was assigned to a foreign post during WWII. When the day came for him to travel, he couldn't find his passport anywhere. They turned the house upside down and inside out but couldn't find it. His trip was delayed several days while special arrangements were made. The woman said that, as a little girl, she secretly hoped her father wouldn't have to go at all, but after a few days he was able to leave. He was gone for several years and she was a teenager by the time he got back.

She stared for a long time at her father's face in the passport picture, which was as clean and glossy as if it had just been taken. Then she asked me if she could please have the passport.

Ach...time for another of those pesky executive decisions.

Although I was 97% certain my neighbors would want her to have it, I apologized profusely and told her it simply wasn't mine to give. I was just a neighbor looking after the house for a few days—I had no right to make decisions about the disposition of any of its contents. She said she understood. I had her leave her phone number so we could reach her again.

Later, my neighbors called me back. They told me they had found the passport only a couple of years earlier under a heavy bookcase on the third floor—where it must have lain undisturbed for more than sixty years—and had always wondered if it could be reunited with a family member. "I hope you gave it to her," Amy said. I told her I hadn't but that she had left a phone number.

Well, we tried the number several times and left messages, but we never heard from the woman again.

Any time
Have you ever noticed that some people are deeply interested in old photographs while others don't seem to get anything from them? I've noticed over my lifetime that different people vary greatly in their relationships with the past and future. For some people, the past is a rich tapestry of romance and mystery, and runs like an invisible current or an underground stream beneath the present, whereas other people dismiss it all too casually, as if to say, what does any of it matter now?

Similarly, some people have little foresight, and to them the future is a "featureless plain." Whereas to others it is a place of fantastic and limitless possibility: anything could happen at any time, and might.

Mike
(With thanks to L.)

Lens of Interest this week:

If you should happen to be looking for an all-purpose zoom for the Sony APS-C cameras I've been discussing lately, here it is. The Sony E 16–55mm ƒ/2.8 G is a high-quality, constant aperture APS-C zoom of manageable weight and appropriate size that covers the true wide-angle to short telephoto range.

The link above is a portal to Amazon. Also available from:

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Bahi: "Loved this essay. I’m one of those people who love old photographs, too—perhaps there’s a link."

Sharon: "This is a beautiful post. Thank you."

Alan H: "Love this story! It took me back nearly 40 years ago when my wife and I moved to Vermont. We had bought a house built around 1830 and a strange thing happened the day we moved in. We were both down in the basement doing something when we heard footsteps on the wooden floor above us. We didn't know anybody there, at the time, so it was somewhat concerning. We immediately came upstairs to find about six people standing in our kitchen! Long story short...they were looking for the woman whose family owned the house for 50 years. We kindly explained that we now owned the house and she had moved into an apartment in town."

Mike replies: One of my favorite books of large-format photography is Paula Chamlee's loving portrait of her childhood home, High Plains Farm. I think that's where she tells this story. When her parents were leaving the farm for a week and she suggested that perhaps they ought to lock the doors, they said, "but what if the neighbors need something?"

Lois Elling: "I love stories like these. Thank you for sharing them. Growing up in the '60s our family would often visit my grandmother (my grandfather died when I was very young) at the house in Los Angeles that my grandparents had built in the 1920s. After my grandmother died, a neighbor bought the house. Just a few years ago my sister and I were passing through the area and stopped to get a picture or two of that house, which is remarkably still there on a street full of apartment buildings. A young man came out in the front yard as I snapped pictures, so I called to him and told him why we were there. It turned out his parents had bought the house years ago from that same neighbor and raised several kids there. The kids are grown and some have their own kids now, but that house is still the place where the family gathers. We met his mother and they were nice enough to show us the living room, dining room, kitchen, and back yard. What a wonderful experience and I was very thankful to them for sharing their home. I had showed them a couple of old photos of the house that were on my phone, and later I shared more old pictures of the house. The house number and front porch light were still the same as in the 1930s. It warms my heart to know the house is still full of love."

JOHN B GILLOOLY: "Beautiful post. And a very nice description of what drew me to a life of photography. I am enthralled with images from the past and constantly thinking of the future historical value of images that I capture on a daily basis. And as you suggest in the essay, I am constantly amazed at the wide range of feelings to the past, in general, and historical images in particular. I grew up the first child of a photographer and am lucky to have hundreds-thousands of 5x7 and 8x10 black and white prints of my childhood. I would guess that the only possession that made its way with me to every address I've ever lived, including dorm rooms in college, apartments abroad and in various states, is one Ilford 8x10(250) box that included a sort of greatest hits. The essence of my existence. I am also a huge fan of visiting places of my past. There is such a palpable feeling to be standing in the same spaces that were once so important to your everyday life - houses, schools, playgrounds, fields, etc. Everywhere you look, flashbacks to moments that took place in that particular corner, hallway or room. Moments that are gone to you until you stand in that space and gaze with old eyes upon things that your young eyes once saw daily. I am sometimes saddened that I am the only one that seems to feel the power and emotion in these moments. It's nice to know there are others that appreciate this same thing."

Open Mike: G.O.A.T. Guitarists (OT)

[Ed. note: "Open Mike" is the often off-topic Editorial page of TOP, and is supposed to appear on Wednesday; "Sunday Support Group," loosely defined as posts meant to be supportive of projects and aspirations, is supposed to appear on Sundays. But we're out of sync this week.]

Arthur Rothstein, Boy musician [Weldon Drake], Weslaco, Texas, 1942.
Note that his 12-string has 11 strings. From
the Library of Congress via Shorpy.

I like lists. They're fun and a challenge to compile. They're also ultimately meaningless and pointless, so I'm not exactly sure why they appeal to me. I guess it's the process of deciding which criteria matter; it helps clarify one's values. It's also a way of celebrating what's real, or good...or of bestowing approval. Or maybe it's just a way of diving into the thing, whatever it is.

I don't know, actually.

I was whiling away some downtime last night and stumbled on a WatchMojo video called "20 Greatest Male Guitarists of All Time." The list was just so bad, so wrong, that it actually troubled me. (I can't come to bed, someone is wrong on the internet!)

So I made my own list.

Here's mine, in chronological order by date of birth:

Andres Segovia b. 1893
Django Reinhardt b. 1910
Robert Johnson b. 1911
Les Paul b. 1915
Wes Montgomery b. 1923

Chet Atkins b. 1924
Chuck Berry b. 1926
Derek Bailey b. 1930
John Fahey b. 1939
Jimi Hendrix b. 1942

Jeff Beck b. 1944
Neil Young b. 1945
Allan Holdsworth b. 1946
Paco de Lucia b. 1947
Carlos Santana b. 1947

Larry Carlton b. 1948
Stevie Ray Vaughan b. 1954
Eddie Van Halen b. 1955
Kurt Cobain b. 1969
Derek Trucks b. 1979

What do you think? I tried to look at different styles, not just flashy BDR-type* players.

But...20? It doesn't even scratch the surface. The real truth is probably that you might be able to pick 20 guitarists in the specific style you like and listen to, and then present them as a group without ranking. I saw one such list of bluegrass flat-picking guitarists. Or you could pick 20 from a particular era, or divide them by some quality or property like most influential or most popular.

My friend Kim, who posts those "C60Crew" mixes on MixCloud, knows about twenty times as much as I do about guitarists. Maybe that's giving me too much credit. But I asked him for help with some list or other a long time ago (was it my Jazz Starter Kit list? I don't remember), and he said, "I hate lists. I don't even think like that."

Ever since then, I've been sort of suspicious of my affection for listmaking.

Anyway, I'm hoping you might educate me on the topic of great guitarists. I'm sure to learn something....

Mike

*Big dumb rock. A friend used to refer to the radio station DC101 in Washington D.C. back in the '80s as "the BDR station."

Book of Interest this week:

The Education of a Photographer, Edited by Charles H. Traub, Steven Heller, and Adam B. Bell, Allworth Press, 2006, 256 pages. A small but rich gold mine of short essays and interviews by and about photographers. Also available from The Book Depository with free shipping worldwide.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

dkreithen: "OK, I'll bite: you missed all the Nashville session guys. An imperfect and partial list would include Glen Campbell, Albert Lee, James Burton, Jimmy Capps, Bryan Sutton, and, to me, the greatest living guitarist, Jerry Douglas (but he plays dobro). Those are only the ones that I know the names of. Also, the LA crowd, including Carol Kaye and Tommy Tedesco. In addition, Ry Cooder should be on or near your list. Many of the ones you have listed I would call 'stylists' rather than all-around greats, including: Kurt Cobain (really?), Stevie Ray Vaughn, Van Halen, Neil Young, Chuck Berry. Some of them are notable and individualistic, but hardly great. I would put most rock guitarists in that category. If you want great stylists, you missed folks like Bo Diddley (truly inventive), Buddy Guy, James Williamson, Robert Quine, Billy Zoom, Dave Davies, etc. Your real omission are the session guys (and gals). They don't have household names, but they tend to be the best."

Mike replies: One of my faves among the session guys is Elliott Randall. Jimmy Page's favorite guitar solo is Elliott Randall's on Steely Dan's "Reelin' in the Years." Page supposedly once said it was "a 12 out of 10."

Grant: "Mike, perhaps you would better understand your affection for lists, if you just made a list of things that you like about lists. Just sayin'."

Michael Allen: "Great topic for a Sunday, Mike. I'll weigh in from the Canadian perspective. One of the wellsprings of Canadian guitar is Bruce Cockburn. While best known as an edgy songwriter, his playing has influenced no end of Canadian artists for more than a generation. An apocryphal tale has a Rolling Stone interviewer asking Van Halen what it's like to be the best guitarist in the world, his reply being 'ask Bruce Cockburn.' Probably not true, but with enough potential substance to remain in circulation. Check out his 2005 instrumental album, 'Speechless.' Not at all splashy, but it nourishes me. Cockburn downplayed his technique, feeling that he was a pretty good player for a lyricist.

"It's a pretty straight line from Bruce to Don Ross, who cannot be described. Don won the National Fingerstyle Guitar Championship twice, and to see him play is jaw-dropping (he calls it 'heavy wood'). Keep safe. Mike Allen (Vancouver)."

Robert: "No real arguments (it's a personal list after all), but I would include at least two others that you have not: Roy Buchanan and Tommy Emmanuel (an Australian). And perhaps another Australian (I am from there, so biased): John Williams."

Tippler (partial comment): "Unless you’re cultured enough and have heard every guitarist of all times, you would not know if you missed one that should be on the list. And suppose you did happen to hear every guitarist, you may not know enough about a particular genre of guitar to be able to discern greatness."

Mike replies: Very true, very true. There are whole genres I never listen to. Metal, for one. I wouldn't know Dave Mustaine from Kirk Hammett.

CRM (partial comment): "I think that almost everyone that I would add has already been mentioned. A dozen or two in the comments that I don’t know. I will be wandering around YouTube for the next week."

Mike replies: The great discovery for me of this post so far has been Sylvain Luc. Wonderful. Suggested by Williiam.

Mike Plews (partial comment): "One of the strangest and most wonderful albums I own is a Hank Williams tribute record by Joe Pass and Roy Clark. Turns out they had been fans of each other for years and didn't know."

Ed. note: Here's the link.

Mark Roberts: "Speaking of Allan Holdsworth, here's a great video that breaks down one of his mind-blowing licks. It's beautiful to see how it's constructed and amazing to think that such a complex part could be improvised. (And be aware that Rick Beato's YouTube channel can be a serious time sink!)"

Simon: "Lots of great names here, both in Mike's list and the suggestions. Zyni Moë beat me to add a name that I didn't think I'd see—Johnny Marr of The Smiths. Very distinctive and influential. I was also pleased to see Martin Taylor and would also suggest Martin Simpson. One way of settling on a genuinely 'greatest' list is to get the choice of the players that have been nominated. You should end up with a clearer idea of who the ultimate 'guitarist's guitarists' might be. As a player, much as I admire shredders, I'd second Steve Rosenblum's suggestion of David Gilmour. I never tire of Comfortably Numb (particularly the live Pompeii recording) and Another Brick In The Wall Part II."

Dillan: "I know this is an impossible task, but you've left off some true innovators: Freddie King, who influenced everything from surf music to good old roadhouse blues, Link Wray who's innovations led the way from early countryfied rock to the harder sounds of the late '60s, and Dick Dale, who brought a Middle Eastern vibe to surf guitar.

"I humbly submit the subdued, but hugely influential sound of Steve Cropper to this list. Without him, the Stax R & B sound wouldn't exist. His sound reverberates through music today. I would also point out Jerry Garcia, who had a very unique sound. I personally can listen to the man play for hours. I would also consider J.J. Cale, who had a very unique and influential sound. Eric Clapton, Peter Green, Mick Taylor, Jimmy Page, Keith Richards, Pete Townshend, and Mark Knopfler all deserve mention. None were really innovators, but all are profoundly skilled. Speaking of profoundly skilled, Glen Campbell? He was truly awesome! One more to consider, now that I'm thinking: Ry Cooder. He seems like a true master to me. I really enjoyed this article. I know we're all forgetting artists who belong on this list, but it's just for fun anyway. Thank you very much for publishing it!"

Mike replies: A number of musicians would be on my personal favorites list, including Mick Taylor, Freddie King, J.J. Cale, Johnny Marr, and Peter Green, not to mention several jazz greats. Neil Young probably belongs on my personal favorites list and not on a GOAT list. See, this makes me happy, but isn't it silly? Like it matters. I guess it's a good way to talk about it and think about it.

John McMillin: "Pat Metheny's been around for such a long time that he tends to be taken for granted, or remembered only for his popular work in the jazz-rock crossover days of the 'eighties. Since that time, I've seen him tear it up on a beat-up Gibson jazz electric, the wailing Roland guitar sythesizer, various tender nylon-strong acoustics, and the four-necked Pikasso harp guitar that he devised. He's played with dozens of the top jazz musicians all the way back to veterans of Miles Davis's band, but also an 80-piece orchestra of robotically played instruments. Pat's latest release features his intricate compositions performed by a classical guitar quartet. What other guitarist shows that kind of broad range?

"Pat never rests on his laurels. He's well-known for practicing for hours after playing a concert. I've heard that once he practiced for two hours before a gig at his son's birthday party. He's written over 500 songs, and some have entered the jazz canon; guitarist John Pizzarelli just released an album of Metheny covers.

"Metheny's maximalist approach has included exotic instruments, world music, 'found sounds' and plenty of leading-edge technology, which leads him outside the jazz mainstream. In concert, he'll expand the musical palette from a whisper to a roar. At the core of it all is his deep melodicism, as expressed in rich chords and single notes that are as fluid and flexible as a violinist's. What he's expressing is always complex, and humane and warm...except for a couple of wild free jazz and noise albums that even this superfan can't withstand. That's the mark of a musical leader, someone who'll take you beyond where you didn't know you wanted to go."

David Aschkenas: "I might have missed it, but certainly Roy Buchanan and Danny Gatten should be on the list. I did a couple of album covers for Roy back in the '70s."

Sunday Support Group: How Many Calories Should You Eat Every Day? (OT)

I've been writing from time to time about my diet experiment. Recently, I'm sorry to report, the news has not been so good. I hit a rough patch. I started cheating on my diet and didn't seem to be able to help it. My weight began to go in the wrong direction.

But it was a mystery to me. What was going on? After more than a year of eating plant-based, wasn't I well adapted to it? I thought I was. Didn't I like it? I thought I did. Where was I going wrong?

Open Mike: What's in a Name?

["Open Mike" is the anything-goes Opinion page of TOP, in which Yr. Hmbl. Ed. blows steam off the top of his head. It normally appears on Wednesdays.]

-

It's snowing and below freezing here right now. Making me anxious about the health of the delicate blooming plants hereabouts. This is the view through my kitchen window about 80 seconds ago, snapped with the phone and AirDrop'd on to the computer.

Monkeys
I have a sensitivity to a thing I call "American Irony." The examples just pelt me like there's a monkey nearby enthusiastically flinging his dung about, occasionally smiting me on the cheek with a fat wet lump. Example: terrorists attacked the World Trade Center. In response, Bush the Lesser declares "the" War on Terror. To me, this immediately telegraphed that his government intended to use the event as a pretext to do whatever it wanted to. (The salient result of the "War on Terror" was the establishment of a dozen permanent U.S. military bases on Iraqi soil, to enforce the flow of Iraqi oil to the U.S. Everything else about it was gaslight. As ably explained by one of the original founders of movement conservatism who later went renegade, Kevin Phillips.) I went around at the time pointing out that it's meaningless in any normal sense to "declare war" on a condition, like "the war on hunger." At best it merely works at the level of metaphor. "Terror" is a state of mind, a state of being, not an enemy that can be isolated and destroyed. It's not even an enemy that can have intent or agency in any normal sense. As any sensitive child can tell you, you can be terrorized by your dreams.

And then what happened shortly thereafter? As if were, yea verily, a sign from God, batting us upside the chops, a pair of deranged psychopath snipers started randomly murdering ordinary citizens going about their daily business in the environs of Washington, D.C....doing what to the community? Oh, terrorizing it. It was as if the Universe were forcefully making the same point, that terror can come from any quarter at any time.

The really odd thing, well, to me anyway, was that no one seemed to see any connection. Maybe I just think about words too much.

His name is what?
Anyway, it kills me that sometimes American irony can come in the form of a name. It's not always just a joke, as when talk show host Jimmy Kimmel featured a prison guard named Robyn Banks and a urologist who had performed hundreds of vasectomies whose name is Dr. Dick Chopp. For instance, the supposed "smartest woman in the world," so-called because she scored higher on standardized IQ tests than anyone else, is named Marilyn Mach vos Savant. A savant, of course, is a learned person or one in possession of deep, detailed knowledge.

The transgressive non-politician who trumped politics-as-usual and upended all the normal and accepted standards is named...? Well, y'know. Changed when his paternal grandfather Americanized his name from Friedrich Drumpf to Fred Trump. Seriously, Universe? The verb "to trump," of course, means "to override," as when a card of a different suit overrides the suit that was led.

American irony kills me.

And now.... Well, you know what chauvinism is. Wikipedia: "Chauvinism is the belief in the superiority or dominance of one's own group or people, who are seen as strong, virtuous and supreme, while others are considered weak, unworthy or inferior." The word's an eponym, meaning a word that comes from a name. It derives from "Nicolas Chauvin," a fictional character lampooned for excessive patriotism and his devotion to Napoleon in the 1831 play La Cocarde tricolore ("the tri-color cockade") by two brothers named Cogniard.

And now the everlasting symbol of white America with its knee on the neck of black America is a guy whose actual name is Chauvin.

Names are just the tip of the iceberg. Don't start looking around for this kind of irony, is my advice. It gets pretty hard to escape. I should've kept a list. It knows no bounds, and less subtlety. And as with the metaphorical monkey you-know-what, the best advice is, learn to dodge.

Mike 

Books o' the Week

Nikon fan are ya? Nikon: A Celebration by British automotive writer and Nikon collector Brian Long covers the history of the company from its beginnings to the end of the film era. A U.S. parallel with more concentration on opinions about the equipment is B. Moose Peterson's Nikon System Handbook. The 6th Edition covered film equipment up to 2000. <—These are portals to Amazon.com thru TOP; you can also search for Nikon books from The Book Depository, which offers free shipping worldwide.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Keith: "I once pulled into a parking lot for several businesses that were housed in a strip mall. The dentist office was next door to the meat market. So the sign on the building literally read 'Mr Butcher Dentistry.'"

Jacob: "Here's a nice one: my wife's childhood doctor was Dr. Morgenbesser. In English: Dr. Tomorrow Better."

Open Mike: Official Check

["Open Mike," the Editorial page of TOP, usually appears on Wednesdays, but I had to drive to Thompson Hospital in Canandaigua yesterday to get my first vaccine shot, and that, plus lunch while I was there, took up most of my afternoon.]

-

We've had an unusually mild late March, especially since the "official" first day of Spring, with several deliciously warm and windy days. But this morning I raised the shade to find that a layer of sticky snow about the thickness of cake frosting had been artfully applied by the wind in the night. The sun came peeking above the ridge in back in about the same spot where the full moon rose a few nights ago. Its light glittered on the new-fallen snow. Beautiful.

Wasn't Spring just here? Fooled again.

The old iMac
Not long ago, I got my old computer back from servicing and put it on Craigslist. Immediately I got a message from a nice woman who said she had researched computers and mine was just what she was looking for. One small problem—she lives in the area, she said, but she's on vacation, and could I please accept a cashier's check, deposit it, and then hold the computer for her movers, who would pick it up for her?

She offered $500, and I accepted. I had paid $177 to the Macintosh specialist to check its functions, physically clean it, wipe the hard drive, and install a fresh operating system. So I won't be getting much in the balance. But then, it's old.

At least it sold quickly. Isn't that nice?

And she followed through! That was a pleasant surprise.

When the check arrived, however, I was surprised to find it was not for $500 as we had agreed upon. She had sent me $1,950.

No problem, though—she had simply included the payment for her movers; her idea was that when the movers picked up the computer, I would pay them, on her behalf, in cash. It won't be a problem, because I will already have successfully deposited the check.

So I'll deposit the check in my bank account, and then some stranger will show up at my door and I'll let that person walk away my computer and $1,450 in cash. That was the plan at that point.

Sound smart to you?

Sure.

Just a few wee "flaws in the ointment," as my brother used to say when he was a kid (the expression is flies, of course. But I like "flaws"). The first doubt I had, believe it or not, was that a supposedly local buyer who talked me down from $550 to $500 would then pay someone $1,450 to pick the computer up for her. That did not compute. Wouldn't she just have a friend drive over and pick it up, for nothing?

Turned out I had quite a few additional questions. Like, how she managed to purchase the cashier's check from a small bank that only has branches in Central Pennsylvania, and then mail it to me from St. Louis, Missouri. Where was she vacationing, anyway, the little-known state of Pennsylvania-Missouri? Also, why the return address in St. Louis doesn't exist. Why there is no name in public records associated with the telephone number she was using. Why the bank branch named on the check didn't match any of the branch locations on the bank's website. And so on. Little things like that.

At least I knew the check was official, because at the top it is emblazoned with a badge that says "OFFICIAL CHECK."

This type of Craigslist scam is made possible by the fact that banks will accept fake cashier's checks at first, lulling you into thinking the money is safe in your account. The bank's assumption is that you've only accepted checks from people you trust. Your assumption is that the bank will only accept for deposit checks that they trust. The space in between those assumptions is where the scammers weasel in and find room to operate.

Some time later, your bank will contact you to tell you the check wasn't good after all and that it will be deducting the money from your account again. To add insult to injury, it's even possible that you could suffer legal consequences for having submitted a fake check to them!

These little irregularities meant the buyer and I had, ah, a little more to discuss. After several more exchanges, here's the last text I wrote to her/him:

Finally, I would like you—the real you—to take a little time and reflect that you are wasting your life. Doing evil and victimizing others might seem convenient to you now, but you only have one life to live on earth, and your time and your actions cannot help but be visited upon you. You will be deprived of the joy of spiritual fitness and you will never know the clarity and freedom of righteousness and decency, of holding your head up and meeting others with forthrightness and sincerity. You're probably young--one day you will need to make amends for your own sins. They will weigh on your shoulders increasingly as you go through your life. Back up, be willing to change, and decide who you really want to be.

I'm quite serious. Think about this. The way you are following is not the way. Ultimately the real victim will be you.

My would-be scammer thinks he is safe (probably it's a he) because he is covering his tracks and no one can figure out his location or identity. He's hidden. But there is one person from whom he can hide nothing. One person who will always know that he has been a shifty little rat in a hole who preyed on his fellow human beings. One person who knows every detail of what he did. One person from whom he cannot hide and from whose judgement he will never be safe.

That person is himself.

Good in the world
Will my little attempt to reach through do any good? Probably not. If the scammer is a sociopath, then certainly not.

But I try anyway, sometimes. Most people have both good and bad in them; few people are all one and none of the other. Self-awareness is an attribute of increasing maturity, and can change over time. And many people who have fallen into bad habits of outlook are susceptible, at some level, to the tug of conscience. In my recovery program, where we share our stories with each other, I have heard many times of people who were awakened by a seemingly small encounter, event, or realization, or a few choice words. So it can happen. I myself was started on my long journey to sobriety—at age 25—when the phone rang and the caller, who first asked for me by name, said, brusquely, without preamble—"When are you going to go get help?" It turned out to be my parents' marriage counselor, whose name I have long since forgotten. Our entire conversation lasted maybe two minutes.

"Who is this?" was my actual answer at the time. But the real answer to her question turned out to be, in about three weeks. By calling one of the numbers she made me write down. I never spoke to her again. My journey to sobriety would take eight more years, but she gave me the shove I needed to get going toward change.

Thanks, by the way. Whoever you are. Or were.

I can actually feel grateful that the Universe threw that Craigslist scammer into my path. Why—? Because writing that little perhaps overly optimistic note gave me an opportunity to reaffirm to myself the values I aspire to, and to remind myself of the lessons I had to learn. Maybe my suggestion doesn't do him or her a lick of good, but the attempt to reach another human does me some good.

So every now and then, when I have an insight, I'll just toss it out there. It can only hit home if the words are what the hearer needs to hear. But you never know when, or where, or how something you say might do someone, somewhere, some good.

Mike

Book o' this Week:
Sugar is the silent nutritional crisis that is hiding in plain sight. The best book about it might be the prescient 1972 classic Pure, White and Deadly by the British scientist John Yudkin. Recommended. <—This is a portal to Amazon; also available at the Book Depository for global delivery with free shipping.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

c.d.embrey: "During the 1970s there was a head-shop across the street from Pasadena City College. They sold art-prints as well as smoking accessories. I bought as couple of Dali prints from them. They had a sign on the wall that read 'Shoplifting F*cks Up Your Karma.' Every time I hear as story like yours, I think of that sign."

Lee Rust: "Quite a story. We definitely have to be on guard these days. But yes, every little bit helps...you hardly ever know exactly how much, but the bits do add up."

Thomas Mc Cann: "About 35 years ago weighing over 20 stone [280 lbs. —Ed.] I decided on a diet and realised as long as I still took a drink I was never going to lose weight as the alcohol would lower my inhibitions. That was about November, so I elected to stay dry for six months. Coming up to the Christmas break I proudly announced in the office I had been dry for two months. An employee, who I barely knew, sneered at me and said, 'You think you've got it beat.' It annoyed me intensely. What did this guy know about me and what problem did he assume I thought I had beaten? I had been thinking about a wee drink at Christmas but his comment tightened my resolve. I didn't take that drink. Two months later I realised I was a better person for being dry and I haven't touched a drop since. I am eternally grateful for that man's few words."

Mike replies: Great example. Over the years I've come to believe that's how insight works. It requires the incisive outside perspective (whether deliberate or by happenstance), but it needs a recipient who's willing and open to hearing it. Sometimes the latter might be even more important than the former. I've found I have to be willing to let an attempted insight fall on deaf ears. Not only because I'm sometimes wrong, which happens, but simply because sometimes they just don't "land." The person it's meant for isn't ready to hear it. If you tell someone something that's true but they're not ready to hear it, however, they'll just forget about it. What this means is that there's no real risk in trying. You haven't done any harm. To them it just becomes more noise in the air that sifts out of memory and consciousness in no time at all. I've also had to learn that it's not necessarily my place to share an insight just because I have one. I try to consider whether it might be none of my business. In the example I related in this post I didn't have that problem—the scammer made it my business, by attempting to rob me!

Tom Burke: "Good to hear about the vaccination, Mike—I'm sure that's the way back to something like how we used to live. And we are having very variable weather here in northern England—sunny enough to sit out until sunset last week, freezing nights over the coming weekend. My daughter reports much the same from her home in Mississippi.

"Honesty—the cultural norm that 'you don't steal'—seems to be fraying, sadly. And a planned theft (actually, I suppose, fraud) seems especially shocking because of the knowingness of it all, the intent—that wasn't an opportunity that just presented itself; they prepared for it. I don't think my response would have been as measured or as thoughtful as yours! I've never been the victim of an online fraud—my experiences with the great auction site in the sky have all been good, in fact very good—but over the years we have suffered two actual burglaries of our home and they were deeply upsetting."

Keith: "Scammers get by with this stuff because there are hardly any consequences. It would seem to me that there would be a branch in law enforcement that investigates some of these type of crimes. Maybe they could be at your house when the 'movers' arrive to pick up their check. At least maybe they could get the identity of some of the individuals involved and question them a bit. Oh wait, we de-funded law enforcement...darn it.

Mike replies: Except I'm pretty sure there would never have been any "movers." What probably would have happened next was that the scammer would have waited till I thought the money was safely in my account, then "she" would tell me that the movers had wanted payment up front and "she" had to pay them, so would I mind please reimbursing "her" by returning the excess money...probably via a cashier's check sent by mail, same way I was supposed to believe I had been paid.

Or something like that, something that kept their exposure to zero.

Note that they didn't actually want my computer—what they were after was that wad of cash, the supposed "moving fee."

JOHN B GILLOOLY: "Funny you should mention that scam. I had a similar scam attempted on me in the photography space so maybe of value to folks on TOP.

"Sometimes my LinkedIn page pops up with job opportunities and one looked good a couple months back—especially in the bleak year of COVID. It involved a fashion shoot in Boston for Esquire magazine of two models and had details and pay presented and organized. The contact was one Avidan Grossman from Esquire. The job, while paying what I would typically charge, just seemed to be too easy. I've been doing this a long time and jobs don't typically just fall out of thin air—at the rate and terms you are comfortable with. It involved a strange arrangement like your Mac. They are going to send me $6,000 immediately. Of that, $2,000 is my deposit and $4,000 will go to the talent agency. Once I complete the job I will get my remaining $2,000. So a total of $8,000—$4,000 to me and $4,000 to the talent agency. After I sign a 'contract' a check arrives from 'Esquire Magazine' and I deposit the check and it appears to clear for a day or two. Of course I was never going to actually make arrangements and pay the talent agency until I knew I was using their money. After two days, the check bounced and I incurred a fee.

"Avidan Grossman is a real person at Esquire and his name appears on many articles. But he seems to have little to no social media presence, so maybe that's why this scammer latched on to his name? I actually left a message at Esquire saying that the name of one of their employees is being used to scam, but never heard back.

"People are sick!"

Open Mike II: Radical (OT)

Man, I'm a radical. I remapped my keyboard!

Look at the "heatmap" for the Dvorak keyboard layout:

Source: keybr

Note that my keyboard is "ortholinear," meaning the keys are vertically aligned instead of staggered.

The one thing I found awkward and painful was hitting the "L" with my right pinkie, which seems to be the finger that hurts the most for me. But hitting the "V" with my right ring finger is very comfortable.

So I switched L and V (the keyboard is programmable). Much better. I adapted to it surprisingly quickly.

So now I'm learning a modified Dvorak layout. As if my windmill could get any more windmilly. (Don Quixote reference.)

...Although right after I made the switch, I had to type the following sentence: "I have tried on several different days but have never received an email." Five V's and only two L's...you know what they say: oh well!

Mike

Product o' the Week:

A fantastically comfortable ergonomic mouse for PC users. Should be considered incompatible with Mac unless you want to use only default settings. Available in regular and small sizes, right and left hand, and wired and wireless. WARNING to Mac users: Do NOT download USBOverdrive! It broke my computer. But really, for you PC users, you won't believe how easy on your hand this mouse is.

The link above is a portal to Amazon, through which most anything you purchase will be credited to TOP. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

And here is a portal to...

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Sunday Support Group: Yflcbi! (OT)

I'm typing this on my new keyboard in Dvorak (I love typing the word "keyboard" in Dvorak), so this is probably going to be short. Only touch-typing could make a MOFW* out of me!

On Tuesday it will be one month, and I have to admit it's not going well. Despite a lot of practice, I'm only typing at about 20 WPM with 95% accuracy when I'm copying and about half that speed, with more errors, when I'm composing, probably because I don't practice the latter as much. Continually switching keyboards and layouts ("Yflcbi" is "Typing" when typed in Dvorak on a U.S. keyboard, by the way) is probably not helping.

I've converted the keycaps of my Kinesis to Dvorak
layout markings. This is the left-hand keywell.

But I made a commitment, so I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.

I truly feel that most of my difficulty is really "just me" as they say. I'm uncoördinated both mentally and in terms of manual dexterity. In short I suspect I have an unusually low aptitude for this. Not debilitatingly low, but below the average or normal range.

However, I believe that typing, like reading, falls into the class of skills that "most anyone can master" if they work at it hard enough and long enough. Some people just have to work harder and longer is all. And might never reach an exceptional level. I'll doubtless never be a speed demon or a champion typist. But competence doesn't require talent in this case, is my guess...just work, and perseverance.

By the way, if anyone out there is contemplating learning Dvorak (now there's a small subset of TOP readers!), I recommend starting with learn.dvorak.nl and not typingclub.com. I believe the latter created some problems for me. I would explain, but it would take too long to type!

I'll report on this experiment again at the two-month mark. For now, I'm not giving up. As Tom Duffy said, "Much of success in life comes from endurance and not much more. As important as thinking is, I'd make the case that after defining a goal, it's often more productive to simply endure." Maybe I'll go type that ten times!

Anyway, I've modified my ambitions: rather than give this experiment two months, I'm going to give it three. At this point my guess is that it might take all of that.

Mike

P.S. This is interesting...key frequency heatmaps for the most common keyboard layouts. The biggest mistake in Dvorak is the "L" position if you ask me.

*All right, all right, I'll type it out: man of few words.

Book o' the Week:

ArtCurious: Stories of the Unexpected, Slightly Odd, and Strangely Wonderful in Art History by Jennifer Dasal (Penguin, 2020. Adapted from the popular podcast.)

The link above is a portal to Amazon, through which most anything you purchase will be credited to TOP. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Michael J. Perini: "I would think that switching between the two types of keyboards has got to add a considerable degree of difficulty—but whatever happens the process is probably building a few brain cells and that has to be good."

Joseph Reid: "If this is something you really want to learn, maybe give it more than three months. I took two semesters of typing in high school, and it was the single most useful course I took in those four years. But think of that—an hour a day, September through December and January through May. It takes some real time, not a few weeks."

JimH: "Personally, I think you are making a mistake, Mike. Trying to do the same thing two very different ways is only going to confuse the connections you already have in your brain. After you started this thread, I decided to try an ergonomic keyboard. It took only a few minutes trying to use it to see how it confused me—slowed me down—and less than 30 minutes to see my typing was getting worse. Back in the box and off to return to you-know-who.

"My philosophy is don't waste time trying to do something you are not good at. I never could throw or catch a football, dribble or hit a basket, so I didn't. But I could heel-and-toe and drift a car intuitively, and I did a nice snap-roll in airplanes. And, as I demonstrate right now, I type fast enough to put thoughts down as I compose, so I'm not wasting time trying to do it differently. To add a camera analogy, after years of using Oly Micro 4/3 cameras up to the Pen F, which I found so trying to use I didn't use it much at all, I bought an old OM-D EM-10 and found it and my brain clicked. Wish I had done that years ago...."

Moose: "'I am feeling a bit like Don Quixote.' —Mike Johnston, Tuesday, 24 September 2013. 'But I made a commitment, so I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.'

"I can imagine various less-than-ideal outcomes from this experiment. Assuming the goal is to become more productive in creating content, not becoming proficient at two different typing systems as a goal in itself, I can't imagine an outcome that is superior to simply learning to touch-type on QWERTY. I also find it difficult to understand how reassessment of commitment to a course of action that has no impact on anyone else, in light of what is learned along the way, is somehow bad. In fact, it strikes me as rather sensible."

Mike replies: Dvorak was a solution, not a complication. My sense after some experimentation was that on QWERTY, my old and new ways of typing would become hopelessly confused and I'd get mired in the confusion. But that's just me; others would doubtless have a very different experience.

By the way, I slowly but successfully moderated all these comments and put up the Edwin Land post using the new keyboard!

Kye Wood: "If you make your living typing code (as an example) or as a writer (I'm looking at you Mike)—then the extra productivity that you eventually get from Dvorak makes it one of the best investments you can make in yourself. To quote my daughter when she was 16, 'suck it up, princess.' Aren't teenagers a joy?

"For me (former code monkey), I couldn't go Dvorak—because Thinkpads keys were uniquely shaped, so you couldn't rearrange them. Dang and dang again. Cursed be my Thinkpad propensities says I."

Susan Eilenberg: "The Kinesis Advantage keyboard has been my steady love since some time in the 1990s. I've been using the Dvorak layout on it for nearly as long. I had no particular need to learn Dvorak—the fabulous Kinesis had already eliminated all my wrist pain—but I imagined one idle summer day that the layout would be fun to learn and a defensible way to put off beginning an essay that had me intimidated; and I believed I would be back to my old typing speeds within a month of beginning to learn it. That did not happen. I was slow and clumsy for nearly a year, and frantic, too, because learning Dvorak pushed QWERTY out of my memory. I don't now regret knowing it, but that year was painful."

Mike replies: I'm glad to read your thoughts about it. I feel very strangely about the whole enterprise—I'm nowhere near mastery but somehow I think I know just how it's going to be once I get there. My slow progress has not dimmed my desire to reach the goal.

Dave: "Mike, Something to look at during your 'off-time'—whenever that may be. Basic Typing Lessons from 1944—Part 1 (4:45 to the end.) (Typewriter pr0n from 3:40 to 4:30.) This old typing training film from WWII is still applicable to today's typing. Good posture in a good chair, hitting the keys correctly (not the very tips of the fingers), etc. Notice how she pushes the keys down, rather than hitting them from above. Less wasted effort and you keep your fingers on 'home row.' Notice also the L.C. Smith typewriter, before it became Smith-Corona. If she can type that fast without jamming the keys, you can get up to your old 'hunt and peck' speed on an electronic keyboard.

"Good luck. We're all counting on you.  :>)  (I don't know how you can keep Dvorak and standard keyboard layouts separate in your mind.)"

Mike replies: Thanks, that was actually very helpful. Especially her recommendation to hit every key like you will when you are trained but to take a pause between keystrokes, then increase speed by shortening the pauses. That instantly changed the way I practice, and it actually increased my speed right away, too! Our Navy was all business in 1944.

Open Mike: Addictive Foods? (OT)

[Ed. note: The following might be a little too testy for some people. I'm putting it behind a page break so you can skip it if you want to. Feel free to. I can't determine if the testiness I detect is in the piece or merely in me—I've been locked in a titanic battle with touch-typing and it's a toss-up which will win, the whale or the giant squid. I haven't done anything so hard since I stopped smoking.

"Open Mike" is the anything-goes, often off-topic Editorial page of TOP, wherein Yr. Hmbl. Ed. gets to rant 'n' rave about topics he can't quite quit.]

Sunday Support Group: Six Weeks (OT)

This might be a little hard to see.

To order a new belt yesterday, I had to measure the old one. And when I laid it out on the kitchen counter I noticed that the buckle-marks on the belt chronicled my recent weight loss—I lost ~55 pounds in the first half of 2020, and have maintained it since then. You can see how that last mark, just to the right of the last hole, is rather faint. I had to have this belt cut down last Summer, and three new holes (the ones on the right) punched.

Simple?
How I did it seems rather simple now. I tried to get 80% of my calories from whole plant foods and time-restrict my eating. Nothing to it.

How I eat now is that I basically follow Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen—here's the introductory video, and the free Android/Apple app is called "Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen." (Note the spelling of "Greger.") Here's a page with a longer list of videos.

I've written about all this before, but I'm trying to encourage you.  :-)

Easy weight loss
The magic trick is to time-restrict your eating. At least that was the key for me. This is what makes healthy eating and jettisoning the blubber easy and effortless. Simply pick a rigid window of time in which you'll do all your eating every day. Outside of that window, eat nothing. Ingest nothing but plain cold water, and be strict about it. Inside of that window, eat all the good food you want. Actually, as long as you're eating good food, you should eat as much as you can. I was so used to the idea of "calorie restriction" or "portion control" as an integral part of weight-loss dieting that it took me time and effort to overcome that mindset. But if there's one truth to weight-loss dieting, it's this: calorie restriction diets never work. Eat too little and you risk being hungry, and that's bad. So load 'er on in. Eat up.

What I found is that you can "train" your body to only expect food at certain times, and at other times you simply won't be uncomfortable because your body isn't expecting to be fed. My "window" is the seven hours from nine to four every day, although the actual span from my first bite to the last is often shorter than that. You can use an eight- or nine- or ten- or even a twelve-hour window if you want—just end your eating at least two hours before bedtime (three is better). I'd recommend ten or less.

Those of us with dogs know how it is. If you feed your animals on a regular schedule, they will know when it's dinner time. And they'll let you know in no uncertain terms if you forget! It's because they get hungry when their bodies anticipate food. Well, we humans are the same way. Train yourself, and you'll get hungry when it's time to eat, and you won't be hungry during the other parts of the day.

Be strict about this, or it won't work. Easy to say.

The DD
If you've got all sorts of encrusted beliefs about plant-eaters, what I'd say is...don't worry about it. Just do it. Just do it while you're losing the weight if you want to. Personally, I think that anyone who can follow the Daily Dozen with 100% compliance for six weeks will be hooked, because of how much better you will feel all the time. I found it absolutely astonishing. But suit yourself. If you want to, do it for six weeks and then go back to steaks and cupcakes. Food isn't ideology.

And if you think it's too hard to switch over, I get that too.

Unfortunately, when people say "try WFPB for six weeks," it's not quite that easy. You might not be able to just snap your fingers and switch over completely. First of all, it's tough to work out what you'll actually eat and how to fix it; and secondly, your gut needs time to adjust. The #1 nutritional deficiency in the developed Western world is fiber, a nutrient critical to the maintenance of adequate gut flora, and there are a thousand different kinds. If you don't eat fiber-rich foods, your gut might not be able to handle a sudden glut of fiber-rich foods. If you have trouble with beans, for example, start slow and eat some every day. Eat a salad every day, and put three beans on the first one, four on the second, until you work up to a spoonful or two every day at the same time. Your body will adapt. You're not that different.

S+S+S+Sv
Here's how to switch over to a WFPB or Daily-Dozen-type diet: start with breakfast. Once you've worked out what to eat for breakfast that's in tune with the DD, eat that way for a few weeks and then start working on lunch. After you've got that worked out, start on supper or dinner or whatever you want to call your last meal. Only then can you really clean everything up into 100% compliance and start your six-week experiment. It might just take a while, is all. If it does, can't be helped.

Personally, what's been crucial for me has been to have a "go-to" that's easy and convenient. What saved me are the "Four S's": smoothies, salads, soups, and steamed vegetables. Each of these sound like they're the same thing, but of course each of them is infinitely variable, so I don't get sick of them.

I've only recently developed  a robust dinner meal. It's super easy and convenient. What I do is start with the healthiest canned supermarket soup I can find (the thing to watch most closely is the sodium—canned soups are mostly loaded with it. Here's one that isn't, and there are more). I keep a container of cooked brown rice in the fridge, and I always have a can of pre-cooked beans and a can of organic petite diced tomatoes going in the fridge as well. Starting with the can of soup as flavoring—which can be one of any of a number of kinds—I add a ladle or two of brown rice and a couple of spoonfuls of beans, microwave it until it's hot, then add a finely diced clove of garlic and a couple of spoonfuls of diced tomatoes. This takes only a few minutes to fix, it's different every day, and it requires very little work. And it's as tasty as the soup it starts out as.

Of course I don't eat this every day—some days I'm feeling more adventurous, or have the energy to cook something more involved, or I've made homemade soup for the week—but you need a fallback for when you have nothing and don't feel like cooking.

Because my window for eating is only seven hours, I'm usually not hungry for the last meal anyway. I eat all I can, but often I don't want all that much.

What if you can't?
Probably the biggest impediments for most people in settling on a window of time for time-restricted eating are social customs and work schedules. I get that. I'm single and my own boss, so if I want to wrap up my last meal at 3 p.m. it's not a big deal. And I don't have to cook for picky kids or a meat-eating mate. Do the best you can.

Just remember that eating is a challenge for your system, and your body needs time to process the food you've eaten—so give it as long a continuous rest every day as you can. It needs it. It will repay you with better health, more energy, fewer aches and pains, better sleep, and a greater sense of well-being. It's been more than worth it for me. And it's not even hard!

I really do urge you to watch that short video. A good first step. Another excellent introduction is the movie Forks Over Knives.

The bottom line is: whatever else you eat, your body needs plants. Plants are the only source of fiber, the original source of protein (what, do you think cows eat meat?), and the ammunition for autophagy. There are thousands of phytochemicals in plants that your body simply needs in order to keep you healthy and humming along, in myriad ways. Food is medicine. Give your body what it really needs, and you'll feel it—you won't need me or anybody else to convince you of anything.

Go for it!

Mike

Book o' This Week:

Pulitzer-prizewinner Isabel Wilkerson's greatly lauded book Caste: The origins of our discontents, a rare non-photography-related recommendation, might be the book of the historical moment in the United States. The above link takes you from TOP to Amazon. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Rodger Kingston: "Great post! I've been doing something similar for four and a half years, since a stroke in July 2016, and so far I've lost (and kept off) about the same 55 pounds as you.

"My belt photo, similar to yours, measures 10 inches between the longest and shortest holes. I've looked at the video and other materials you suggest, and it may well be a better way to go. Thanks!"

James Kelley:

Mike says: The following might be the longest comment I've ever "featured," but all the people who are bored by this subject have long since stopped reading anyway, so for those of us who are left, here goes...

adamct: I know there are people who dislike these posts, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your posts played a significant role in convincing me to adopt a WFPB diet, and the results have absolutely shocked me. I went from being over 250 lbs. to around 175–180 lbs. But it's more than just weight loss. I have a family history of heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer's, and a WFPB diet significantly reduces my risks of developing those as well.

"There are a few points I want to add to what you said:

"1. Dieting doesn't work. I'm fully convinced of that. The only thing that works is a long-term lifestyle change. I knew that headed into this, and it is what I wanted. A diet focused on counting calories or restricting portions of whatever is doomed to fail because it is inherently short-term, too complicated, and based on depriving yourself. I eat as much as I want, whenever I want. It's just that I make sure that I am eating healthful food. I don't pay any attention to calories or portion size whatsoever. That is sustainable.

"2. I've been amazed at how easy the switch was. The hardest part about making the switch to a WFPB diet is making the decision to do it. Once you do, you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. There is a lot of angst and pop culture telling you that the switch is hard—it isn't. Along those lines, I would caution that not everyone will find adjusting to a high-fiber diet hard. I don't mean to imply that nobody will, but don't let yourself be put off my Mike's comments about the adjustment. I make a pretty radical switch and didn't have any digestion issues at all.

"3. You don't need to time-restrict your meal times. If that helps you, go for it. But studies seem to show that the primary benefit of time-restricted feeding is just that people eat less, not that there is any real magic to time-restricted feeding per se. Eating 2,000 calories within eight hours isn't any different from eating 2,000 calories within 16 hours. But eating 2,000 calories in eight hours is very different from eating 3,000 calories in 16 hours.

"4. When I eat, I eat enormous amounts. I make salads that would normally feed a family of six. [Me too —Mike the Ed.] But...it's all salad. The total calories just can't be that high and I never think about them. Instead, I think about all the nutrients I'm getting and how good my food tastes. But when I'm not eating...I'm not hungry. In fact, I am rarely hungry these days, whereas when I was eating the Standard American Diet (SAD), I was hungry all the time. It is amazing that you can eat this way, lose all this weight, improve your health, and not be hungry.

"5. I would encourage you to avoid all meat, dairy and eggs, other than trace amounts that are in pre-made, primarily plant-based foods or that are 'hidden' in vegetarian or vegan meals eaten in restaurants. I could go on at length as to why, but I'll just say two things here: 1.) the science shows that even small amounts of animal protein significantly increase your risk of various diseases, and 2.) it is easier to avoid all meat, dairy and eggs, than it is to limit yourself to 'some' meat, dairy or eggs. Part of what is hard about dieting is forcing yourself to make decisions: is it OK if I eat a cookie, if I only eat half, or limit myself to one? Is it OK if I have a ham sandwich, if I omit the mayo and have it on whole wheat bread? Is it OK to have an egg with my oatmeal? Part of the benefit of adopting a strict WFPB diet is that it is so much easier from a psychological perspective to not have to make those decisions. You are establishing bright lines that relieve you of having to make constant decisions, testing your willpower, and deprive yourself of what you 'want.' Going all-in may seem harder, but it is actually easier.

"6. The 'whole foods' part is really, really important. You could subsist on potato chips, french fries, donuts, white bread, etc. and be a vegetarian, even vegan. But it wouldn't be healthy. Consuming whole foods is what makes this approach to diet work. For this reason, I don't eat any of the vegan 'substitutes' out there. [Me neither —Mike the Ed. again.] I don't eat meat-substitutes, vegan cheese, vegan sausages, etc. All of those products are highly, highly processed. Why trade one set of highly processed foods for another set of highly processed foods?

"7. I went pseudo-vegan a while ago and lost some weight, but it wasn't dramatic. When I cut out bread, pasta, potatoes and rice, I dropped weight so quickly it shocked me. I encourage you to do the same. I'm not anti-carb (I'm decidedly pro-carb!), but I make sure that I'm eating complex carbs from whole-food sources. I'll eat beans, lentils, nuts, whole grains, you name it and I'll load up on it. But avoid the bread, pasta, potatoes and rice, even though they are vegetarian/vegan.

"8. Calories are not calories. You can eat 2,000 calories on the SAD diet and 2,000 calories on a WFPB diet and still wind up losing weight on the WFPB diet. In fact, you can eat more than 2,000 calories on a WFPB diet and still lose weight! Why? Lots of reasons, but here are a few:

—Your body absorbs more of the calories in a SAD diet than a WFPB diet. You literally excrete more calories, undigested, on a WFPB diet. Just because you eat foods that theoretically have more calories, doesn't mean your body actually absorbs them and processes them.

—It takes energy to access energy / store energy. Your body can absorb and store the calories from a SAD meal pretty efficiently. It takes a lot more energy to break down, access and story the calories in a WFPB diet. So even if you consume the same amount of calories, the net amount of calories stored by your body on a WFPB diet will be lower.

—Adopting a WFPB diet is associated with a faster metabolism and higher body temperature, meaning you burn more calories just by, you know, existing.

"I could go on, but I know this can get tedious. Anyway, thanks for getting the word out and helping me, Mike, I am in your debt.

"P.S. Oh, and one more tip: be careful about buying new clothes as you lose weight. I started as a size XL (sometimes XXL). When I became a size L, I had to toss my entire wardrobe and bought a new wardrobe in size L...

"...But I kept losing weight. I blew past size L and am now generally a size M (sometimes even a size S) and had to replace my entire wardrobe yet again within a few months. If I had waited a few more months, I could have saved a fair amount of money.

"On the other hand, buying a new wardrobe as you lose weight is incredibly rewarding and satisfying!"

John Camp: "In addition to Caste, I would suggest White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America, by Nancy Isenberg. (Also available on Amazon—the books are actually paired there.) I think White Trash is the better book (I've read them both). Caste was an interesting book but seemed to me to be almost a semantic argument. Wilkerson insists on the importance of caste, but in practical terms, she seems almost to use it as a synonym for race. I think her book would have been more pointed if it had just been Race: The Origins of Our Discontents and didn't have this artificial construct imposed on it. I think the distinction lies in the fact that Isenberg is a professional historian and Wilkerson is a professional journalist, which affects their approaches to the subject matter, Isenberg being more rigorous, Wilkerson a better writer and more emotionally effective. Both books are well worth reading."

Barry Reid: "I'd like to concur with adamct. I appreciate the diet/liefestyle posts and they have provided encouragement as I have lost 44 lbs. over the last two years."

Mike replies: That is excellent. Strong work! And another way to think of that weight loss: that's two years you weren't gaining weight. Strange to say, but most overweight and obese people are not just overweight and obese—they're also actively gaining weight. That's one thing that finally got my attention—I tipped the scale at 273 and thought, "where does this stop?" I clearly saw myself reaching 300 lbs., then 315, then 325, and so on. Right now I haven't lost any weight for seven months, but I haven't gained any, either.

David Maxwell: "Well, here is another 'thanks for these posts' comment. I know you catch a lot of flack for not 'staying in your lane' (interesting, given that this is your blog), but for me they are the most valuable posts that you make. I have read a number of WFPB books that you have recommended and am fully convinced. I have been meat free for over two years, but struggle with the rest of it. Dairy is a major weakness. But I have recommitted myself and am now three weeks into a true WFPB diet. I enjoy it! Most of my meals are prepared on the slow cooker as that fits my lifestyle the best. I am fortunate to have a very supportive wife who eats what I prepare and also works to accommodate me when she cooks.

"Unfortunately my activity level is not what I would like it to be given that I am not currently working and watch my nearly three-year-old son full time. I bought an exercise bike a few weeks ago but haven't developed a habit yet.

"I have been weighing myself daily and it isn't always encouraging. I am slowly trending down, but there is a lot of variation on a day to day basis. Like weighing two pounds more this morning than yesterday despite eating a normal amount with no junk. Is this normal? I am very consistent—weigh in the same clothes and before going to the bathroom first thing every morning.

"I am optimistic that this type of lifestyle will be the solution to my weight and energy struggles. Thanks again Mike!"

adamct replies to David: "David—YES. That is completely and utterly normal. I have no idea how it's possible, either. I'm sure it has something to do with water retention and bowl movements and the timing of your last meal and black magic, but whatever it is, it is totally normal. And annoying as €£¥%. Stick to it. Weigh yourself daily but compare where you are after a month to where you were when you started. Hang in there, man. It's worth it."

Mike replies to David: I agree it can be frustrating. I stop losing weight—they call it "plateau-ing"—for weeks or even months at a time. That's what the record shows.

Are you eating any sugar? Overt or covert? Any alcohol? Be aware that many supermarket foods have added sugar these days (it's the perfect industrial additive, except for the wee detail that it's disastrous for public health). The body is a scavenger, and will use the easiest source for energy and pack away the rest as fat. I weigh myself morning and night and it becomes obvious which foods are conducive to weight loss and which aren't. For instance, nuts, which are loaded with fat, barely move the needle. But white bread, which is vegan and traditional and seems harmless, will make my weight shoot up very noticeably and stay up for days. It's very interesting that eating the same amount of white bread and real whole-wheat bread (both from the same Mennonite bakery) have very different results on the scale for me. White rice vs. brown rice, ditto. Even small amounts of candy set me back after a couple of days.

Oil is the other thing to watch out for. Many WFPB doctors recommend no oil at all. Chinese takeout—very bad. It's totally vegan, but it's loaded with oil. It's easy to sauté without oil at home, but there's a trick to it and it has to be learned.

Keep in mind the ideal rate of weight loss is a pound a week or less. That's barely detectable beneath the everyday fluctuations. But it's 52 pounds in a year! So don't be discouraged.

The way I think of the scale is, it's just data. I don't look to it for encouragement. I just gather the data. It's very tempting to skip the weigh-in when you know you've pigged out on something unhealthy and you suspect the number on the scale is going to punish you. But that's how people give up and start to regain. So just gather the data and don't worry about the day-to-day. If you have a bad day food-wise, have a better day the following day.

And don't forget, unlike many bad-for-you weight-loss diets, this way of eating is great for your body and your health. It will pay dividends over the long run in better blood work numbers, lower blood pressure, lower disease risk, better overall health, and a feeling of well-being, whether you lose weight or not.

Open Mike: Can You Give Me a Jump? (OT)

So here's one weird thing that happens when I play pool. (This post is not about pool!) I often lean over, and up against, the edge of the table. Since I have my car's key fob in my pocket, occasionally I inadvertently press one of the buttons on the key fob by accident. I know this because sometimes I set off the "panic" alarm!

For the past two days we've had the most beautiful weather. The clouds moved in dramatically just a few minutes ago (a vast dark cloud bank you could see coming), but for a day and half now it's been warm (up to 40°F) and brilliantly sunny, with a thick blanket of newly fallen snow. But for four days prior to that, it snowed...and snowed, and snowed. The whole Northeast was under a sprawling snowstorm. It didn't seem to want to stop. We were only on the fringes of it—we got about ten inches here. The car was snowed in for two and half or three days. Yesterday morning my friend Eric came and plowed me out.

But evidently at some point, probably while making a sensational shot no one got to see (more's the pity), I, um, inadvertently opened the car's trunk. So when I finally got in the car to go to town...nuthin'. Flashing, blinking lights and pathetic little growls from the engine compartment. A neighbor, Jim, was plowing out the church parking area (I think it would have to be paved to be called a "parking lot"), and he came over to give me a jump, but I don't have any jumper cables, and the cheap little freebie jumper cables he had melted before we could get my car started. Seriously! Nice of him to try, though.

The last time this happened, I swore I'd buy jumper cables before the next time. Oops.

Anyway, $62.64 later, a local auto service center sent down a guy, also named Mike, with a jump starter, and I was back in business. (Mike was a dog lover too, so we talked about our pooches.)

Of course it occurred to me that this is about the fifth time I've been caught with a dead battery in my own garage, for one reason or another, and each time it costs me a nice dinner in a restaurant to get the car started. So how much does the lithium-battery jump starter Mike used cost? It was a Clore Jump-N-Carry 660. I saw prices online everywhere from $115 to $233, average about $150 or so. I've already paid out more than that for jump-starts over the past five years. I figured maybe I should just get my own jump-starter and cut my losses.

But when I looked into it, I found...

...This. It's an Autowit Supercap 2 batteryless jump-starter.

Batteryless!?

This is the kind of thing that's going to seem like old hat if you already know about it, yet might be hard to wrap your head around at first if you don't. Because it doesn't have a battery in it. You don't have to keep it charged. You just attach it to your weak battery, wait five or eight minutes or whatever it takes, press one button, and jump in your car and Bob's yer uncle.

It's a capacitor bank. When your car battery won't start the car, it's not out of juice altogether...it just doesn't have the oomph necessary to turn the engine over. So what the Autowit does is "gather" enough power from the depleted battery over a few minutes of time, until there's enough built up to start the car. Then it dumps it all at once (well, for ten seconds) to get the car started. Once the car is running, of course, its alternator recharges the battery.

Neat, huh?

It's (relatively) small and light, It'll work anywhere from Hudson Bay to Death Valley, you don't have to remember to keep it charged (this is a key point for absentminded me), and it's safe both to use and to store in the car. There's a "Lite" version for gasoline engines up to 5 liters and diesel engines up to 3.5 liters that comes with no case, which costs less than twice what I paid the man from the service center yesterday. The regular version is good for gas engines to 7 liters and diesel engines to 4 liters, comes with a case, and costs only $30 more. It will start anything but the largest pickup trucks.

There are a couple of caveats—if your battery is really drained, you might have to charge up the Autowit on something else, and if your battery is absolutely stone dead the unit might not recognize that it's connected to a battery, which is, in effect, its "on" switch. But those situations are unusual. In normal situations, by all reports, they work fine.

The Lite version is plenty for my 2.4-liter 4-cylinder car, so I just have to decide whether I want to pay $30 for a case—or whether I want to have the bigger one just so I can help other people out. I think the latter rationale will push me into buying the regular version. In olden times, I had to ask other people for jumps from time to time. It would be nice to be able to say "yes" the next time someone asks me.

Mike

I'm not even going to mention that "Open Mike" is supposed to appear on Wednesdays.

Book o' This Week:

André Kertész, On Reading, the lovingly crafted reprint of the lyrical 1971 classic by an early master of the small camera. (Would make an excellent Valentine, for a person who reads.) The above link takes you to Amazon. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Original contents copyright 2021 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Small Update (OT)

If you've been following along...

...I love the new-old pool table and the pool shed. The whole project worked out much better than I expected. The space is very comfortable, peaceful and quiet, and fully large enough for the nine-foot table. The table is better than I expected, too—it still has its original Monarch cushions from the mid-'60s (they made them right back then), the slates are superb, and it's eminently playable. The best table I've ever played on, actually. (I had never played on a Gold Crown before I tried this one out at the seller's house. I like it even better than the Diamond I had.) There are no problems anywhere on the table, no spots where it rolls off or dead places on the rails or anything like that.

I've played way too much these past ten days, but we've gotten into a great rhythm—as I shoot, Butters trots around keeping his ball from me, putting it down and then snatching it up if I go for it. Every now and then he'll present it to me, and I put the cue down and fling the ball out the door. He gives urgent chase and comes trotting happily back inside, and we start the whole process over again. He loves it. Inside the house, he's always sitting there looking at me expectantly, wanting to go out.

I'm slowly getting back into stroke. I do drills in the morning and just shoot balls in the afternoon and evening. Usually I'll stay out ten to twenty minutes every couple of hours, then come back inside to work. In the evening I'll spend an hour or two out there. The table is demanding but I like that, because it's a challenge and it gives me a better opportunity to work. Eventually I'll post a video. Can't wait till COVID's over and I can have friends over to play.

It's still pretty lonely. But that's these times. We all just have to get through it. And I have nothing to complain about.

But all is well. It took a lot of work but the result was worth it. I'm glad I did it. Everything worked out great.

Now then, that's enough of that.

Mike

Book o' This Week:

Peter Lindbergh On Fashion Photography, with text in English, French, and German. Original coffee table version or small 40th Anniversary version, take your pick. Both are hardcovers. The links above will whisk you away to Amazon.

Original contents copyright 2020 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Peter: "I’m delighted for you Mike. Made my day to read this. I can imagine the joy it will bring when you can entertain. Soon."

Alan: "Have you played darts? I think a dart board might go very well with that pool table. Love the whole setup. I wish I had one just like it."

Mike replies: I did play darts for a spell in college. I lived on the top floor of an old dorm. Across the hall from me was one of the largest dorm rooms on campus, with a large living room and a bunk room for four guys. (401 Middle Fayerweather if there are any Dartmouth alums hanging about.) We had a dartboard in the living room there. But it's never been my thing, really, and I'm inclined to keep the pool shed single-purpose as far as activities are concerned. I've scrapped my plan to keep my books there, as I now realize bookcases would crowd the table. I'm still planning photos for the walls, but that's a project that will begin in Summer at the earliest.

Nikhil Ramkarran: "I’m so happy you’ve finally got your game on. Been reading your (OT) pool posts for so many years. Enjoy, Mike." 

Bandbox: "Pool tables, politics, and inequality. Not my cup of tea, I'm afraid, and that's probably why I don't read TOP as often as I used to. But the drone piece was good, so I keep coming back from time to time."

Michael Ryan: "I have zero interest in pool and less interest in building cabins. But for some reason have been eagerly following every update on this wonderful addition you have added to your life. Very much looking forward to your video. Have you thought about doing a Zoom call live pool game with some of your followers? It might also help with the loneliness."

Five in the Side (Was: Today's the Day) (OT)

The pool table installers come this morning! The culmination of maybe seven months of work and, um, worry. A long-awaited day. They're due within the hour. I'm excited.

Updates and a picture later.

Mike

UPDATE 5:00 p.m.:

After more than five months, many tradesmen, and a medium-sized bucket of money, the first ball down was a five in the side. We are cookin' with gas!

Ed and Spencer Watlack of Watlack's Billiard Service in Rochester New York, second- and third-generation pool table mechanics respectively, arrived at about 10:15 this morning. It took them about two and a half hours to get me up and running.

The most expensive thing I ever bought in my life was my son's college education. That was well worth it. My son graduated from the University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh in four years with an excellent GPA and $0.00 in student loans, and I'm very proud of that.

But even though it's not the most expensive thing, what you're looking at in this picture is the greatest extravagance of my life. Wholly, completely unnecessary! And I'm pleased as punch. Now I can get to grips with learning the game.

The table is a Brunswick Gold Crown I. It's nearly as old as I am. It was built in Chicago (I believe), probably in the mid- to late 1960s. At some point in the past, the legs and skirts were stripped of their original paint and stained, and the sub-skirts were removed.

Did you spot the Attention Hound in the upper photo?

—Mike

Original contents copyright 2020 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Book of interest this week:

Picture This: How Pictures Work, By Molly Bang
(clicking on the link above takes you to Amazon from TOP)

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Robert: "Congratulations, enjoy! I played with the idea couple of years ago, but there is no room big enough in my house and I cannot buy additional real estate—everything is already occupated. Even if it was free to have, over here you pay nearly USD 2,000 per square meter...my Hassy will have to do as a sin which makes one happy."

Mike replies: I understand. I considered every possibility in my existing house and barn, and there was simply not enough room anywhere, no matter what I repurposed. But I do have lots of free land, and I even had the leveled gravel pad next to the garage—the previous owner had used it as a parking space for his utility tractor. I had considered building a stick-built freestanding building on a concrete slab, but the cost was too high. It wasn't until I visited my friend Mike's pool-table-in-a-shed, and at the same time my financial advisor told me that I needed to borrow some money to improve my credit rating (I've had no debt other than my mortgage for a number of years) that the idea gelled.

But if you don't have room, you just don't have room.

Pool Table for Sale (OT)

Ohio USA: I have a pool table for sale in Ohio. It's a Golden West "Vintage" model in 8 foot pro size, in very clean condition. The distinctive feature of the table is its stunning woodwork, in oak with medium stain.

This model, the Vintage, is currently available new from Golden West for $6,250. I'm asking $1,925, which is less than I have into it. (This is just the TOP price. I will put it on eBay and Facebook Marketplace tomorrow for more. Figured I'd offer it here first, just on the off chance someone here might want it. These are gorgeous.)

Golden West is the most resolutely American of the made-in-America manufacturers, not accepting any components or materials from outside the U.S. (They feel it would be a slippery slope.)

I'm forced to turn around and re-sell this because I can't figure out a way to get it here from Ohio in the time of COVID! The arrangements I made fell through. I've thought of all kinds of schemes but nothing is affordable. Meanwhile, I found another table (completely different kind) only 2 1/2 miles down the road from me. That one will be easier to fetch!

This one will be easy for its purchaser, too. It's currently in temperature-controlled storage with a professional pool table mechanic in Columbus. All you would have to do is arrange with him to deliver and set up the table for you at your convenience. His territory is all of Ohio but he can deliver it anywhere. He can also give you detailed information about condition, because he took it apart.

These are the PREVIOUS SELLER's pictures, not mine! But they are of the actual pool table for sale.

I believe the rails are hickory, because hickory is harder than oak, which is a beautiful touch. This model was popular in the '80s with Lakers basketball stars and film people in L.A.

If you are interested, please contact me at mcjohnston.com for information. If you think you know someone else in Ohio who might be interested, please pass the news along! Thanks.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,

Mike

Original contents copyright 2020 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

BOOK of the WEEK
as discussed in this post from last week:

How Not to Diet by Michael Greger
(Links go to Amazon)

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Malcolm Leader: "A friend of mine has that table. It is awesome and at that price plus ~$1,000 delivery is a steal. You can set up yourself—it is not hard. Many videos. I use (thin) cardboard for the foot shim material. Borrow a machinist level but frankly, a cheap hardware-store level (get 4') is more than adequate. You'll fine tune by bouncing balls down table and observing the straightness of their path. Time consuming, maybe. Worth it? Yes!"

Eating for Health: 1-Year Progress Report

[Bloviation alert: This is a long one; 4,000 words and then some. You have been advised. —Mike the Author/Ed.]

-

'Kay, today's the day. It's been exactly one year since I began my diet experiment, so here's yer helpful friendly one-year progress report. I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist; this is just an account of my own experience, my own journey.

To briefly review, last December 19th, one year ago today, I started time-restricted eating (TRE) and a whole-food plant-based (WFPB) diet. TRE means you only eat during a defined "window" of time every day. WFPB means you aim to get at least 80% of your calories from unprocessed or minimally processed plants. Actually I slowly transitioned to a Dr. Greger / nutritionfacts.org diet, which might more accurately be called a "FAM" diet, meaning "food as medicine."

How to Buy a Pool Table: A Beginner's Guide (OT)

For those of you who are interested, here's my guide to how to go about buying a pool table. As ever, I'm mainly a reporter here: I listen to and read experts but I'm not an expert myself. Note that this Guide is for the U.S. If you live outside the U.S. I can't be of much help.

Sunday Support Group: TOP Stew For You

For the singletons amongst ye, the bachelors and bachelorettes, herewith a morselette for your delectation I will but seldom assay...a recipe, fer cripe's sake, that even non-cooks can cook. Generally I am aware that I should be giving no one cooking advice. This exception proves the rule as the saying has it.

After six months or so of scrupulous veganism, I started eating a little meat again in about mid-May; at first, about once a month. By late September or so I ramped that up to one serving a week.

That's plenty. Meat is not good for you. Well, it can be, but only if you're critically short of stored fat and/or starved for protein...which probably describes 99% of the individuals in the hunter-gatherer prehistory of humanity but might not describe as many as 1% of us modern-day Amurricuns.

Get back to the off-topic topic, Mike—step down from that soapbox before the mob drags you away and beats you to death with keto-friendly Slim-Jim Giant Smoked Meat Sticks™.

Here's what to do for TOP Stew: take half a red, orange, or yellow bell pepper and half a purple onion and chop them coarsely. Slice five or six white mushrooms. Then cut a four- or five-ounce tenderloin filet into stew-sized chunks. Throw it all in hot non-stick frying pan over medium-high or high heat with no oil and stir-fry for seven minutes. Season with plain old salt and pepper to taste, and Bob's yer uncle.

It will cook neatly in the moisture from the veggies and 'shrooms—you don't need to add oil or anything else. In fact, when the pan starts getting dry, that's when you know it's done.

If you like your meat a little less well done, wait till minute six or five on the countdown timer to throw it in.

This is about the simplest thing I've ever cooked—so simple, in fact, that I can do it. Fast and easy. I have it about once every two weeks. And it's delicious. (That's one thing meat is good for—yes it's bad for health, but it's savory.)

Even cleanup is simple. 

A once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence
I think this might literally be only the second recipe I've ever published on TOP*. The other one, for a 15-bean soup, was posted more than a decade ago!

So this might have to hold you till sometime after 2030. I do hope you have other sources for recipes.  :-)

À votre santé!

Mike

*UPDATE the next day: Not quite. There have been a few others. Suffice to say this channel is not the Galloping Gourmet!  :-)

Original contents copyright 2020 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Luke: "Oh, whew. I was getting pretty tired of bean soup."

Moose: "Try this: 1 Tbsp cornstarch; 2 Tbsp Soy sauce (well, really, wheat-free Tamari); 1 Tbsp Asian fish sauce (Red Boat is great!); 1/2 Tsp Sriracha or so, or anything you like to add just a little flavor. It's not about hot. A little Worcester sauce doesn't hurt, either. 1/3 cup water. Mix into a slurry. When the food is almost done, pour into the pan and toss. The heat will thicken the cornstarch, making a wonderful sauce coating the other ingredients. (Eschew white 'shrooms. Go Crimini!) Consider making a double-size batch. After at least a night in the fridge, it will taste even better reheated."

Open Mike: Look What Happened to Them!

["Open Mike" is the anything-goes, often off-topic Editorial page of TOP. It comes around on Wednesdays except on selected occasions.]

-

It's Friday the 13th, traditionally an unlucky day. Rational, logical people celebrate this occasion by ignoring it and going about their business—particularly because we know that irrationality, belief in superstitions, enthusiasm for conspiracy theories, fascination with the supernatural, fear of ghosts goblins witches and monsters under the bed, and a whole raft of related primitive ideas all tend to arise together in human thinking—that is, the more a person gives in to one primitive quasi-magical phantasmagorical belief, the more likely he or she is to believe in all the others. It does the enlightened mind no good to overindulge savage instincts.

I'm particularly contemptuous of conspiracy theories, which are typically just a means of making weak-minded people fear things for which there is no evidence. It's just not the way the world works—evil happens out in the open, if you know what to look for and how to recognize it when you see it. Just because a lot of the way the world works is hidden from some peoples' perceptions doesn't mean it's actually hiding. Intellectually, the conspiracy theory is about on the level of the idea that "celebrities" are one's friend-group. What's much more normal is that when conspirators try hard to keep cabals and collusions secret, they can't, because people can't get along. The bigger the supposed conspiracy, the more unlikely it is. Some canary or another will sing; count on it.

The trick is to know which song is the canary's.

The origin of the Friday the 13th superstition is believed to be related to the fact that Jesus was crucified on a Friday—although that Friday's called Good—and there were 13 people at the Last Supper, namely Jesus and his twelve disciples...ignoring the fact that there would logically have been 13 people at every other meeting of Christ and the disciples too.

It could also relate to a "day after" phenomenon. Pool players know that "the shot after" is statistically more likely to be missed—after you attempt and make a particularly difficult shot, you're more likely to let up on the next one and miss it. You're simultaneously relieved and proud, and yet under an odd sort of pressure because after having made a hero shot it would then be all the more embarrassing to miss an easier one. The number 12 is considered fortunate in many cultures for many reasons—twelve months, twelve signs of the Zodiac, twelve Greek gods, etc. In numerology, twelve is the number of balance and harmony. In Chinese superstition it's associated with yin-yang duality, on account of it contains one and two. And of course those twelve disciples again—maybe the consideration is that the 13th was Judas, the betrayer. So, is unlucky 13 the "one after" lucky 12, or a lucky twelve with an evil ringer thrown in...?

People can point to many unlucky things that have happened on Friday the 13ths. Of course, if you search hard enough, you can find unlucky things that have happened on any combination of day and date. For instance, Adolf Hitler got appointed Chancellor of Germany on a "Monday the 30th." That seems pretty unlucky.

Thirteen friends
But then there's this. According to History.com, four U.S. presidents—Teddy Roosevelt, Chester Arthur, Grover Cleveland, and Benjamin Harrison—all at one time or another belonged to an organization called The Thirteen Club. Organized by Civil War veteran Capt. William Fowler, the owner of a popular gathering spot for political and social groups called Knickerbocker Cottage, the club consisted of thirteen prominent friends who would meet on the 13th of every month in Room 13 of the Knickerbocker Cottage. "Before sitting down for a 13-course dinner," History tells us, "members would pass beneath a ladder and a banner reading 'Morituri te Salutamus,' Latin for 'Those of us who are about to die salute you.'" This merry little group's purpose was to pooh-pooh the notion that the number 13 possessed any sinister sort of agency.

But just look at what happened to all the members of those variously constituted Thirteen Clubs! Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you the shocking fact (cue spooky music): they're all dead!

To a man. As Tweety Bird (and isn't he a canary?) would say, it's twue, it's twue. Gives you the goosebumps, don't it.

So beware black cats today, friend. I don't mean to frighten you, but if you don't you could wind up dead, a hundred years from now.

Mike

P.S. The writer, editor and chief bottle-washer of TOP takes Saturdays off these days, on account of his age and lack of zing. Check the past week for anything you might have missed, then come back on a Sunday the 15th, when he shall think up something else entertaining.

Original contents copyright 2020 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

If you like TOP, please consider becoming a patron!

(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

robert e: "Very amusing, Mike! And typically illuminating. I, for one, had to be led by the nose to see the obvious—-that conspiracy theories are superstitions, or at least fill the same needs and thrive in similar soil. Amusing, enlightening, and scarily apropos of the ongoing crisis in more than one democracy. Yet oddly calming, too, thanks I'm sure to the perspective of a dedicated humanist. Thank you for this. And have yourself a relaxing day off!"

Albert Smith (partial comment): "To quote Michael Scott from 'The Office,' 'I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.'"

Al DaValle: "I couldn't agree more Mike. The more ominous the conspiracy and the wider the suspected network of conspirators, the more certain is its falsehood."

Ramon Acosta: "The subject of superstitions is one I find interesting. I am living in my third country. I could barely manage the superstitions of two, but I absolutely can’t manage a third country. I currently live in Russia, and when I bring up this subject most russians are genuinely surprised. 'Vat zeperztitonz?' they say. Then I remind them of the few that I have had to learn because people get upset when you don’t. Superstitions are so entwined in their life, that they forget about them, they become rules, until someone breaks them. Then they remember. You should not greet someone at the door frame, in or out, preferably in of course. Don’t take out the trash at night. Don’t carry empty bags or containers. And some older people don’t like to receive money directly on their hands. When I first got here I thought it was so the security cameras could see the money in the supermarket. Like in the casinos. I learned the truth later."

Mike replies: I had a strange thing happen with my own mind. I read a book about Feng Shui, which is an ancient Chinese folk tradition of managing "chi," the life-force, in living spaces—I was interested in the ways some of the recommendations might be practical. And some of them are. For example, if you're single, get a double bed and put a night table on the far side—makes sense, because you're creating a space in your life for another person. Or, bedroom doors should not open in such a way that it allows the person entering to see the bed right away—again, sensible, because it increases privacy, potentially giving the people inside a short warning that someone is entering. But many of the recommendations are either inscrutable, or nonsense—mere superstitions like "don't carry empty bags or containers." But one of the recommendations is to never live in a house where the stairway points directly at the front door, because all your money will flow down the stairs out the front door and you'll become poor. Now, I can't say why, but for some unknown reason that one lodged in my brain and got stuck there. To this day—and I probably read that little book 30 years ago—I can't look at a houseplan (I like looking at houseplans) and see a staircase that begins directly opposite the front door without thinking "bad feng shui." It's almost as if my brain picked out a superstition to believe in all on its own.

(As an aside, a great book about arrangements of living spaces is A Pattern Language by Christopher Alexander et al, a perennial best-seller.)

Alexander Thorp: "I agree with you in your despisal of conspiracy theories, but I think that superstitions are maybe a little more interesting than that. I have heard the following theory: being good at pattern-matching probably conferred an evolutionary advantage (e.g. at this time of year this species of duck usually flies up the river at dawn), and it might be that being a little too good at pattern matching was in fact better than being not quite good enough, even if that also brings spurious results such as 'If I wear my lucky hat, then I get off a better shot.'"

Mike adds: There's a scene in the John Wayne / Jimmy Stewart movie The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (very nice B&W, by the way) in which one of the rooming-house guests, Mr. Peabody, is trying to show the serving girl how the silverware should be placed. "Hallie, Hallie, please—the proprieties concerning the cutlery. Now how many times have I told you, the fork goes to the left of the plate, and the knife goes..." 

"What's the matter with you," she interrupts, "You superstitious or something?"

He has no answer, just stares at her dumbfounded.

Joakim Ahnfelt: "There is another theory, one which I personally find a bit more plausible. But your mileage may vary.

"Friday the 13th, October 1307. Philip IV of France strikes against the Templars, and in a well-planned attack arrests about 15,000 knights, priests, servants etc. all over France in one day. Probably in an attempt to seize their fabled treasures as well as getting rid of a potential enemy.

"Close but no cigar, as Hollywood likes to remind us from time to time: the treasure was never found."