Open Mike: 20 Questions

This should have been posted yesterday; I'm late.

The reason I'm late is that they had a big recovery convention in town this weekend. I'm a sober alcoholic in recovery, so I attended a few of the many events. In honor of the Conference of the Lakes, I thought I'd post the famous Johns Hopkins 20 Questions, which is sort of the semi-official version of all those quizzes and tests meant to determine if someone has a drinking problem. I copied them from a Reddit post, but you can find them here and there across the Web. Here's the list:

1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is your drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
6. Have you ever got into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family’s welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution because of drinking?

If you answered YES to any 1 question, there is a definite warning that you may be an alcoholic. If you answered YES to any 2 questions, the chances are that you are an alcoholic. If you answered YES to 3 or more questions, you are definitely an alcoholic. (These questions are used by Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, Maryland, in deciding whether a patient is alcoholic.)

People in 12-step programs don't tend to say anyone is "definitely an alcoholic." It's for people to say of themselves, not for use as a label by others.

We—I mean humans—still don't don't understand alcoholism very well. The reason is because it's only selectively addictive. The World Health Organization doesn't even classify alcohol as an addictive substance (!) because not a high enough percentage of people "become" addicted to it with prolonged exposure. Research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as well as the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) concluded that nine out of 10 drinkers are not alcoholic. This means that alcoholics are easily able to "hide" in the general population—especially early on, and often for many years. In college, when many kids drink too much, it can be almost impossible to distinguish who is alcoholic and who isn't, especially if the alcoholic doesn't want you to know. But as I say that, it's important to acknowledge that many kids that age don't yet know they are alcoholic. They think they're just partying like everybody else.

A few danger signs that might show up by college age: one is that you have strong positive response to alcohol on your first exposure to it or first experience with it; another is that you prefer to drink to a state of drunkenness right from the first or from early on, despite negative consequences like vomiting or waking up sick the next morning; and a third is if you quickly develop a high or very high tolerance to alcohol when you're young and haven't been drinking for long—that is, you can drink much more than most people without showing many effects or much impairment. At the least, young people should be taught that the last of those is a red flag of alcoholism to come.

None of those things have to be present in the future alcoholic. But if they are present, it's a signal flare.

A comedian observed that when he was twenty and showed up for class at 8:00 a.m. still drunk from the night before, people thought it was cool. But when he was 30 and showed up for work at 8:00 a.m. still drunk from the night before, people's opinion about that had changed. The lifestyle becomes more and more inappropriate as you get older and older.

When I was in high school, the top students were allowed to leave campus for lunch. A group of four or five of us would go to a "dive bar" called Schrinsky's (I don't remember how it was spelled) down by the highway. It had sawdust on the floor and whole peanuts in bowls on the tables; I saw a tattoo for the first time there, on the pale white upper arm of a big-truck driver whose forearm was deeply tanned. I learned how to fold a pack of Camels into the sleeve of a T-shirt there. Our group would order two pitchers of beer: one for the table and one for me. I'd drive back to school and finish classes without anyone suspecting anything was amiss. I didn't know it was a danger sign; I thought it was a superpower. 

(I drove my genteel mother's car to school after I got my license because she liked me to pick up my brothers and do some of the other driving duties, and I liked to drive. One of the shocks of her life was when she and several friends were driving to lunch one day, and, at noon, they drove past Schrinsky's Bar and she saw her own car in the parking lot.)

And by the way, you don't "become" an alcoholic. You're either one from the start or you're not. That's my belief. It's not that alcoholism is "caused" by heavy or long-term drinking; it's that the disease gradually reveals itself more and more as it progresses and your life and health deteriorate. You stand out more and more from the "normal" or "average" drinkers. Probably the clearest signs are that the alcoholic can't stop drinking in a global sense, even after multiple tries (our joke is "quitting is easy, I've done it dozens of times"); can't keep from drinking the first drink on any specific occasion, despite knowing from long experience where it's going to lead; and then can't stop drinking on any specific occasion after that first drink. It's that first drink that's so dangerous: the joke there is, "when you get run over by a train, it's not the caboose that kills you." Yet people who have been getting drunk every day for literally decades will persist in believing they can have only "one or two." The joke: when stopped on suspicion of driving under the influence, and asked by the officer how many drinks he's had, no alcoholic has ever had more than "a couple."

The twenty questions on the Johns Hopkins list above are merely indicators of whether one's disease is progressing and revealing itself. Most non-alcoholic drinkers will simply modify their habits when those things start to happen. Alcoholic drinking seems more and more irrational to others as time goes by.  

How to get sober, if you're wondering
There are many ways to get sober. My opinion is that the best way is to first check into a 28-day or longer inpatient rehab (a friend is in a 90-day one right now), then continue with a 12-step group immediately after release. If you drank every day, then go to a meeting every day. If you spent a lot time drinking, then spend a lot of time on your recovery. The more trouble you had getting to rehab, the longer the rehab should be. Don't shy away from 90-day rehabs. You might think it's an inconvenience, but the rest of your life is at stake.

Just a public service announcement from your friend at TOP. I just wish I could write more about recovery; it's a subject near and dear to me.

Mike

Original contents copyright 2025 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. (To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below or on the title of this post.)

Featured Comments from:

Comments

[jack mac]

Mike,
I appreciate this very useful information. My friend who no longer drinks says "I wasn't a problem drinker, I had a problem with drinking"
A certain beer company had a slogan: "Know when to say when". Unfortunately, the person who has a problem with drinking seldom acted on the knowledge that WHEN was before the first drink.

[Stephen Cowdery]

The recent Saoirse Ronan film The Outrun gives a good look at a young woman dealing with her alcoholism, relapsing and returning to rehab.

[John Krumm]

The one that I occasionally do, have a beer or glass of wine alone, I'm not worried about. I live with my wife. She goes on trips. Sometimes I have a glass of wine and watch a movie, all alone. Not regularly. For me, alcohol has never been about the high. I'm far more likely to drink a few more if I go out with a friend, which I do maybe once a month.

Alchohol in general does affect sleep for the worse, that's normal. That's why I tend to avoid it most nights. I forget the process, but it has something to do with how the body metabolizes it, and then part way through the night, you wake up.

[Herman Krieger]

Photos also found on wanted posters.

[I like the poster in the middle. But don't worry Herman, I won't turn you in. --Mike]

[Richard Sloves, Psy.D]

If I might offer a correction. The Parrish Art Museum, Water Mill, Massachusetts is not in Massachusetts but in Water Mill, NY, a hamlet- village between Southampton and Bridgehampton in the, wait for it, The Hamptons.

[I am sorry! I'll go fire the sub-editor. Fixed now. --Mike]

[Patrick Murphy]

No alcohol problem for me, fortunately. However, if you replace the word "drinking" with "scrolling the Internet aimlessly" then I definitely need a 12-step program!

[Robert Roaldi]

It saddens me to hear of you and others going through this misery. For some reason, I appear to be one of those people for whom alcohol provides no pleasure so it's easy for me to simply ignore it. Except for half a beer with pizza once a month or so and the occasional glass of prosecco during Christmas, it's not part of my life. I don't even get that happy buzz if I drink a little more than usual, I just go quiet and want to go to sleep. Nobody believes me when I tell them this about me. One day we'll have a deeper knowledge of the genome so we'll understand all this. Meanwhile, there's a French expression, 'Bon Courage'.

[T. Edwards]

Mike -

I appreciate that you're in recovery but that quiz is some bullshit.

I look forward to getting home and having a beer while I grill dinner. That's craving a drink and drinking alone. So "chances are" I'm an alcoholic?

I'm sure there are better quizzes out there that aren't so silly as this one.

[Keith]

For a while in my late teens and early 20's I wondered if I was an alcoholic. I was sure drinking a lot of beer. I decided to go one month without drinking any beer at all, just to see if I could. No problem, and I lost the beer gut that had grown on me. Then I made a point of going to the bar with buddies, but said I was only having one, since I had somewhere to be soon after. No problem. Now it's a glass of wine with a nice dinner, or a cold beer on a hot day. I can't remember the last time I had two drinks in one day. I realize I'm fortunate, and that many are not in that position.

I used to know a man who was a fairly high functioning alcoholic. He knew it, his work knew it, but even with their encouragement to do something about it, he wouldn't or couldn't quit. He said he became an alcoholic with his first sip. He died young.

I've read of studies saying there's "an addictive gene" that makes some people susceptible to becoming an addict, whether to booze, drugs, porn, sex, whatever. I sometimes like to ask people that if that were actually true to the point we could identify the gene in a DNA test, how does that affect the tested person. Do we tell some 18 year old they have that gene and they would be better not to drink? Do we try harder to prevent them from drinking?

My understanding (which might be out of date) is that we can't cure an addiction. All we can do is help the person manage it. Programs to support that are so much cheaper than throwing someone in jail, but that doesn't satisfy the tough on crime advocates.

[Jim Kofron]

Yeah, I'm not sure about that quiz either. I do look forward to having a drink (beer or wine is typical, cocktail more unusual)--and I'll drink alone if I'm eating dinner alone. But there's no 'craving' and I would give up alcohol for lent (and it was easy). For me, I love the taste and pairings of these drinks with food...

But hey, I appreciate the info.

[Paul Van]

I'm thankful you, and others have been able to stay sober and in recovery. Unfortunately, my brother wasn't one of the lucky ones. It will be fourteen years this summer since he passed at 54.

Every day is a gift, and everyday is an opportunity to start fresh. Best wishes to all those who are struggling.

[Dear Paul,
I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. It's true that those of us who manage to wend our way to permanent sobriety are the lucky ones. Most of us die drinking or die of drinking. What we do is kinda dorky on the surface, but deadly serious deep down. --Mike]

[Benjamin Marks]

@Robert Roaldi has described my physical reaction to alcohol to a "T". My friends used to laugh at me when I was a teen because I'd start nodding off in a corner after one drink. Like Robert, I attribute this to genetics. I get red in the face and the strong desire to nap from drinking one store-bought Kombucha, which has alcohol, but so little that it isn't required to be on the label in a "proof" way. So, Robert Roaldi - you are not alone.

My wife has never had a drink -- claims it is too bitter for her. So we make quite the pair. Kind of a mutually reinforced lack of interest.

@Mike Johnson: keep up the good work. It looks good on ya!

[David Lee]

What T.Edwards said.

[Tom Burke]

I believe that I and my wife are in the 90%, but of course it’s always possible that we’re deluding ourselves. The questions were interesting - a tentative ‘Yes’ to a couple of them, at certain times of my life.

One thing we’ve both found useful is an app, MyDrinkaware. Essentially it’s a tool for logging what you drink, day by day, and the app gives you some indication what you’re doing to yourself. When we started using it a few years ago (possibly during the pandemic) we were pretty shocked to see how much we were drinking, and I would say that we moderated our drinking as a result. Of course, you have to enter the data, and you have to be honest. But it seems to work for us.

Bottom line: I enjoy the alcohol I drink (good wine and single-malt whisky) and I like what it does to me; but I understand the potential harm and I believe I’m avoiding that. But I also recognise that I might be wrong, and I do think about it.

[Thomas Paris]

I like the taste of (some) alcoholic drinks but not the effects of alcohol.
So, when I discovered a shop near where I live that only sells non-alcoholic drinks and carries quite a few with tastes I like, I knew I had found a jewel.

Based on what you've told us about your own tastes, I believe you wouldn't care about what they have. So you're not missing on anything.

And I'm glad I don't have to fight with addiction to anything. Congrats on staying strong! I'm not sure I'd be able to do it.