Open Mike: First Cutting (OT)

["Open Mike" is the opportunistic Editorial Page of TOP, which gets done adventitiously as the occasion arises.]

There comes that time in early spring when we have a string of nice warm sunny days and I look at the grass and think, "nah, it's too early, it's not long enough to bother with yet." It is so nice out you wonder if it will never get cloudy.

Then the skies cloud up and the rain starts, and it rains for twenty days. The rain makes the grass leap up out of the ground and head skyward. At the same time, the rain soaks everything, making it impossible to run the lawnmower to cut any of that grass back down again. You have to watch helplessly while the grass grows out of control, unable to do anything about it. This happens seemingly overnight. Presently the grass is nearly as high as the rooftops, in spots.

Finally there comes a break in the weather. The clouds roil about, the sun is seen fleetingly at times, the asphalt road actually dries off even at the edges where it's broken up, and you seize the moment and run out and hop on the old John Deere, hoping it will fire up after slumbering all winter. But I'm outrunning my tale: before I begin mowing I have to pick up sticks. That's what the trees, especially the sycamores, do all winter—shed sticks—and I collected enough of them yesterday to make a house for the middle of the Three Little Piggies, all the while mourning my misfortune for being so tall and having to stoop so far to reach the ground. Last fall I had all manner of trouble with the John Deere. It had to go back and forth to the repair shop twice, and I was pessimistic of its prospects this spring. After having been hit with a succession of unexpected expenses this year so far, I thought perhaps having to buy a new used lawn tractor was going to add to my list of woes. I tried to counteract this possibility by idly shopping online for a new John Deere that I can in no wise afford. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that the old one started up and ran smoothly; maybe that repair shop knows what it is doing.

If you read novels, and have ever encountered the phrase "the forsythia are in bloom," this is what that looks like. For those of you who live amongst skyscraper canyons in big cities, I can tell you that having a lot of forsythia is one of the good things about living in the country. The more forsythia, the better.

I believe my John Deere has about as many horsepower as the first Volkswagen Rabbit, the original hot hatch—about 90—making it very powerful, for a lawnmower. So if I creep very slowly across the great heaps of leaves that I absolutely meant to rake up a long time ago, the great engine with its new mulching blades will roar and churn and shake and spit out a torrent of moist leaf mulch, which I arrange very un-aesthetically in senseless patterns across the lawn. The yard is complicated, and has a great many impediments to the mower, including all the low-hanging branches that I continue to intend to cut back, and all the tenacious mystery plants that were once cut down but that persist in continuing to grow. (The rule is that if I want a plant to grow, it does not, and if I try to kill a plant, it will cling to life and continue to pester me for years without ever having the chance to sprout leaves or do any of the other things that plants are believed to have to do to sustain life. I had a wisteria bush cut down to the ground five years ago, for instance, and it is still angrily trying to come back out again.) The yard has also become filled with spontaneous potholes or sinkholes over the winter for no known reason. The smallest of these are no problem; I merely aim the lawn tractor to straddle and pass over them. The largest are also no problem, as I simply drive the mower down one slope, traverse the bottom, and drive up the other side. It is the mid-sized ones, the ones the size of a bathtub or a La-Z-Boy recliner, that are the problem; you can get hung up in those, and you may then require the services of a Mennonite neighbor with a team of draft horses to extricate the tractor. This happened only a few times yesterday, as I went along.

The first cutting of the season is merely emergency triage, meant to cut the grass back before it exceeds the height of oaks. I don't bother doing a neat job of it; I cut where I can and leave the niceties for later. All thoughts of making the lawn look good are set aside and left for the clement months, when the sun shines and the gnats shimmer in the hot air and the snakes that live underneath the rocks sun themselves on top of the rocks. For now it's just a grim battle of man against grass. Of course, I have another limitation that vectors in upon the job, namely, that my back can only take so much jouncing around perched atop the tractor. If I don't desist as soon as my spine begins to feel tender, I will be faced with days in traction, days on crutches, followed by a further flourish of days hobbling around with the aid of a cane. It's best not to overdo.

But yesterday I needn't have worried, as presently the rain returned, and I had to quit on account of that. That's "rain" in the colloquial usage. Did you know that not all rain is actually rain? "Rain" is technically steady precipitation that exceeds twenty minutes in duration. Any less than that, and it's a "shower." So now you know why the weatherman insists on saying "scattered showers"—he's being technical. The problem with these definitions, of course, is that in these parts, twenty minutes is long enough for about an inch and a half of rain to fall (that's a cm and half to you foreigners, I b'lieve), and that will soak things almost as good as rain will.

Anyway I got about half the yard done yesterday, which I am pleased about; and it looks like hell. I had to skip the places where the leaves were heaviest, lest I risk the mower blades clogging to a stop, and I got no trimming done despite trimming being urgently called for. But this is one of those incremental tasks. It keeps needing doing, again and again, and each time I bravely forge out to do yardwork I will improve one area a little better than I did the last time. And in that fashion, bit by bit, the premises will gradually get whipped into shape. I am confident that in this manner I will have the whole yard looking nice and neat by the time the leaves turn and start to litter the ground again, next fall.

Mike

[CORRECTION: I'm surprised that so many of TOP's otherwise intelligent readers got this wrong, but we just hired a new fact-checker—one who attended the University of Science, no less—and he checked again. He assures me that one deutsche mark does indeed equal one inch. So the correspondence is 1:1, and, therefore, 1.5 inches = 1.5 dm, as I reported in the post. If you don't understand this, it is doubtless because you are not European.

However there is one very bad mistake in the post, which management regrets. Take a look at this photo of the instruments from the cockpit:

So the lawnmower engine is NOT 90 horsepower, as I stated...it is 180 horsepower, as you can see for yourself. And note that mine has only 4,645 miles on the odometer. That doesn't seem like much, but none of them are highway miles.

Glad we got that all cleared up!  —Ed.]

[There might have been some satire in this post, and not just the measurement conversion.]

Original contents copyright 2023 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. (To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below or on the title of this post.)

Featured Comments from:

Bryan Hansel: "I approach lawn mowing differently. I go as short as possible in an attempt to kill the grass so I don't have to mow. It might be different here in northern Minnesota though. We currently have about a foot of snow in the yard. After that melts, everything turns to mud. Just as the mud starts to dry, and the grass starts to grow, and the spring flowers start to bloom, the black flies emerge. That happens in June. There's a saying, "Don't go outside in June." You'll die from black fly bites. But the grass is getting high in June, so the mowing must be done. That's when the bug shirt comes out. It's armor against the bugs with a full mesh hood, bug-proof fabric, and elastic cuffs at the wrists and waist. By the time I work the courage up to push mow the lawn, the mosquitoes have emerged. Then it's an all out fight for the lawn. It's humans vs. the bugs. The bugs usually win. Thus my goal to kill the grass so I don't have to suffer the pain of 10,000 Minnesota black flies and mosquitoes. And this is all before the No-See-Ums hatch."

Mike replies: I'm like you. I grew up in Wisconsin, and I continue to be amazed, when I'm in other parts of the country, how few insects there are. When we played outdoors as kids we thought it was normal to be covered with red polka-dots (mosquito bites). In Berkeley when I was there my girlfriend's mother kept her french doors wide open to the evening air! No screens at all. I was astonished. As you well know, she would never get away with that in Wisconsin or Minnesota.

Stelios: "What? No picture of the John Deere?!"

Mike replies:

Note Green Bay Packer colors.

Geoffrey Wittig: "There are many philosophical elements to yard and lawn care. Some folk regard it as a great crusade, wherein your friends and neighbors, and perhaps St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, will judge you severely for the state of your yard. Such folks tend to mow at the first sign of green grass, keep the lawn severely trimmed, and neaten up the edges on hands and knees using scissors. A single dandelion is cause for chemical warfare. Every twig must be removed. I'm on the other end. As an adolescent I tried to persuade my father that if we merely waited, the wind would blow all the downed leaves out of our yard and off to somewhere else. He was not amenable to my argument, directing me to man the push-mower. I now live on about 99 acres of hilltop land. Thankfully most of it is forested or far too steep to consider mowing, so we only mow perhaps a quarter acre. Even more fortunate for me, my wife actually enjoys mowing. The first time I mowed the lawn 35 years ago, I came into the house sneezing uncontrollably with my eyes swelling shut and my nose running like a faucet. My wife sighed and said, 'I'll mow the lawn if you get me a riding mower.' 'Done!' Best money I ever spent."

Comments

[Jim]

Yep, this is the time of year when I hear, “Isn’t it nice out?” To which I can reply, “Yes, it’s so nice out I may just leave it out.” Or not, which is the usual case, although I can THINK it!

[Stephen F Faust]

Simply reading this triggered my seasonal allergies and made me realize, once again, how happy I am that I sold my single family home (with all of the outside duties it required) and moved into an apartment in the city!

[Robert Roaldi]

Mother Nature hates lawns, yet we persist in defying her.

[John Krumm]

I'm a converted leaf mower. No more raking the lawns. In fall I just mow and mow, easy-peasy. By spring, the earthworms have made meals out of the bits. I save any raking for the sidewalks and driveway, which are bad enough.

Sounds like you could use a dump truck with soil and a couple helping hands with a wheelbarrow and shovels to fill those holes. Save your back. A landscaper would know the best way to do it, but also charge the most.

[James Weekes]

As I discovered in my years in Vermont, cutting wisteria to the ground only angers it. And makes it tricky. Mine spread a long ways underground and popped up where I couldn’t see it until it was taller and entwined in a bush l liked, therefore involving surgery that would have made a neurosurgeon applaud.

Finally I quit fighting and tried to train it onto an arch. It promptly died.

[Sherwood McLernon]

It’s 2.54 cm to the inch.

[Padraig]

1 inch = 2.54 cm
So an inch and a half of rain is just under 4 cm

[Don Spady]

As a "foreigner" (Canadian) whose childhood was measured in inches, feet, and pounds but in adulthood changed to cm, meters, and kilograms I feel the need to correct your math. An inch and a half is not a cm and a half but in fact is 3.8 cm. 1 inch == 2.54 cm. Apart from that, with all the growth you have, your yard certainly looks quite nice. I enjoy very much your Open Mike notes and also your comments and informed opinions about photography.

[Mike Plews]

This will be the second year we do "no mow May" for the benefit of the local bees.
Last year we got to about May 15 before things got so far out of control that we had to unleash the family Cub Cadet.
I don't mind dandelions at all and that's a good thing as they are already popping up all over.
We can get away with this as our nearest neighbor is a half mile away and the president of our homeowners association is a possum.

[Bob Keefer]

We don't live where you do, Mike, but we do have rural property with a lot of lawn in rainy western Oregon, a sometimes-balky John Deere riding mower (*not* as powerful as a Volkswagen of any kind), and plenty of wet patches and low-hanging branches.

Unfortunately no Mennonite neighbors with draft horses live nearby, so I've occasionally rescued the mower from swampy oblivion with an all-wheel-drive Subaru and enough rope to reach from the gravel driveway 100 feet or so down to the muddy spot. It's 25 miles to the only mechanic I trust to work on the Deere, so of necessity I've learned over the years how to fix many of the mower's regular problems, without making too many of them worse.

There is nothing, though, quite like the first mowing of spring. Nice piece of writing!

[Benjamin Marks]

My son's advice: plant trees. He's anti-lawn, and I can't say I disagree with him.

[ASW]

Hey Mike. Not sure if you were being a bit sarcastic here and there, but as a scientist I feel I have a duty to point out that there are 2.54 cm in an inch, so 1.5 inches is 3.81 cm.

Also, a 90 hp tractor is used for farming. If you're partial to John Deere green you're talking about $100,000 MSRP. A typical riding lawnmower is in the 15-20 hp range. Maybe 25 hp if you're rich and fancy.

I totally agree with your description of the travails of maintaining a yard. Last year I didn't have to mow until the end of May, which is both better for my lazy soul (I use a push mower) and the birds and bees. Our grass was barely turning green last week, but after 3 inches of rain on Sunday and strong sun to start the week I have a jungle on my hands.

[Lesley T]

An inch and a half of rain is actually almost four cm (3.8 cm to be more precise), so measuring in centimetres makes it sound much wetter than using inches. And if you want to sound as if things must be floating in your back yard, use millimetres, which we in Canada usually use to measure rain. Thirty eight sounds much more impressive than a mere one and a half!

[John McMillin]

How many acres do you mow? My yard has about a half acre in grass, and when I bought it, friends said I'd surely be buying a riding mower soon. Twenty-three years later, That still hasn't happened. I'm mowing on my own two feet, but I'm not pushing a heavy mower uphill. First I had a self-propelled Honda, which worked beautiful but was hard to handle due to its great weight. Gradually I swore off small gas appliances, as they broke down one by one. My self-propelled mower is electric now. It was sold with two batteries that, back to back, can outlast me.

Your mileage will be different, of course. Anything over two acres in a faster-growing climate would probably be too much. But I do enjoy a long walk over my own land, which is big for a yard but small for a park. You've been on a health kick, so my plan could trim your scheduled workout time.

[Ken]

Just curious: living out in the country, you don't have a pesky HOA, so why do you bother with a grass lawn instead of an environmentally friendly and low-maintenance yard of wildflowers, clover, etc.?

[Johan Grahn]

Nice report!
But check your inches. Over here an inch is about 2.5 cm.
I grew up working on the family owned sawmill. We used inches for pieces that were cut to size. 2x4 etc. When planed(?) it becomes 45x95
Inches and feet are good "human" scaled measurements but are awful to calculate.
3/4"+2'1/16"?

[MikeR]

Same stuff here, Mike. I cut it, run out of time to finish it off with the hand mower, it rains, and three days later, repeat.

My neighbor has a perspective on snow, that after you're done plowing/blowing/shoveling, all you have is what you started with. For some reason, he doesn't think the same way about grass. He actually FERTILIZES the stuff!

Personally, I don't like lawns. They're another Veblen thing. In my rural setting, where the prior owner had tried to make a suburban lawn everywhere, I've undertaken a "wilding" for the last 20+ years, using the land to provide food and shelter for insects, birds and animals, which a typical lawn of Asian grasses does not do.

BTW #1, Forsythia are an Asian introduction, and do absolutely nothing for native critters. Not even deer eat the stuff.

BTW #2, Going at a slower speed with your lawn tractor would be easier on your back. Personal experience, both with back issues, and avoiding the pounding of a lawn tractor driven fast.

BTW #3, In the Fall, just drive your mower over the leaves, which will mulch the lawn, and as the bits decay, provide sustenance for all critters big 'n little.

[glenn brown]

Here in Canada we have "No Mow May" to help the environment, takes away all the garden guilt but I did self service the John Deere (only 22hp not your 90hp job.

[Jaap Veldman]

Hi Mike, an inch is 2.54 cm. Cheers! Jaap

[Olivier]

An inch and à half would be approximately 4cm but what do I know, here in Barcelona rain has turned into a myth, something that only exists in science fiction books.
And yes to forsythia! One of the prides of my garden as well...

[David Dyer-Bennet]

An inch and a half can't possibly be a centimeter and a half, it fails sanity check (you do sanity check numbers that run through your brain, right?). The conversion factor is NOT 1.0! (An inch is 2.54 centimeters).

[Rob Spring]

Mike,

You got the inch to centimeter conversion wrong. There are 2.54 cm/in., so 1.5 inches is a little over 3.8 cm.

[Speed]

A one word solution. Plastics?

No. Sheep.

HireSheep.com is a directory of all sheep rental companies in the world. Helping connect you to targeted graziers ready to tackle invasive plants and prevent wildfire spread. We provide resources to land managers, homeowners, and sheep rental professionals.

https://hiresheep.com/

[Graeme Scott]

twenty minutes is long enough for about an inch and a half of rain to fall (that's a cm and half to you foreigners, I b'lieve)

38.1mm

A statement like the above is like a red rag to a bull to a Metric Fundamentalist like me.

But I forgive you.

Look after your back. ( I'm a Fundamentalist Back Pain Sufferer as well ).

[Kenneth Tanaka]

“A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.”

- Michael Pollan

[Mark Sampson]

It's true, forsythia is one of the glories of a Northeastern spring; a reminder that the gray skies and mud will pass. And if the deer won't eat them, so much the better.
Here in Tucson, the paloverde trees are now flowering with a similar brilliant yellow. And the 'lawns" here are sensibly made of gravel, which neither grows nor requires mowing. Yet the weeds grow well in such inhospitable terrain...

[Joseph Kashi]

Your very nice post today reminded me that I have two yards ( house and office ) to mow with my very old JD, at least once the last foot of snow melts and I can see our Alaskan dirt again for several months. (That's just about 31.5 CM of the white stuff. )

OTOH, our wild iris, tulips, and daffodils are pushing up through the snow, so the time seems near.

Joe

[David Zalaznik]

I second a couple of the comments above. We built a house on a river bluff in an area where water runoff from lawns and parking lots overwhelms the areas water dispersion capabilities.
From the start, our goal was to have no water leave our property. We did so with having no lawn, instead laid out the property with deep-rooted prairie plants, trees, rain gardens, etc.
We lived there for 20 years without a lawn mower. We had a patch of grass about 15-feet by 20 feet which I trimmed with a battery powered weed whacker occasionally. A neighbor, built and moved in next door after us, filed a complaint with the city against us because of tall prairie grass. City said we had to mow everything. We contacted city environmental engineers and they supported us, saying we were doing what they wished all homeowners in the are would do. We didn't have to cut. Get rid of your turf lawn but do it incrementally so its not overwhelming. Get rid of the mower.

[Don Seymour]

My Dad used to start the lawn mower up every week during the winter for a few minutes and then the same with the snowblower in the summer. Looks strange but we never had a problem with either of them.

[John Holland]

Perhaps instead of a lawn mower, you could get an Austrian scythe? Works no matter the weather or water saturation level. And you get a great workout for free!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fRkJvjBXrM

[James Liu]

You get a sign that says "Prairie Grass Do Not Mow" and put a stop to the mowing.

Your neighbors may cause a lien to be placed on your house, and for that to be foreclosed upon. In which case, also, you will not have to mow.

[Not THAT Ross Cameron]

Hi Mike,
Maybe consider an alternative to lawn. Could be the topic for another day.
Interesting read here on the origins of lawns in the US, including a book to read, if so inclined.
https://theconversation.com/why-more-and-more-americans-are-painting-their-lawns-202586

[Bernie]

Hi Mike, I think the actual power of the John Deere is 17HP - not 90 and certainly not 180.

And as tractors go, they don't show mileage, but hours of operation. The reason is that, depending on the task at hand, tractors can be in operation while stationary for days on end (e.g. when powering an irrigation system), or moving on a very slow pace. Your lawn mower has been in operation for 464.5 hours.

[Hayden Jensen]

Britain is finally getting the message that we'd all be better off without mile after mile of green concrete. Idleness is best for wilderness!

[DB]

A fine and scientifically accurate article.

[Roger Bradbury]

Mike,
I had a good look at the photo of the dashboard, and unless you average 10 mph when mowing, your John Deere has not done 4,645 miles but 465.5 hours; there's a little hourglass symbol next to the readout.

My own lawn is pretty small at maybe 400 square feet, but I have used a small tractor with a gang mower to trim a field. Most therapeutic.

[Dave Millier]

Amusing article, when you flow, you flow. A joint article between you and Martina Hyde would be a joy. I've heard of these tractor mower things. Fortunately, my front garden is two flower beds, a short cobble path for the postman and a pebble drive way.My back garden is a 55 feet long by 25 feet wide rectangle and the grass grows in the 1cm of soil over the rubble of the previous Victorian mansion that was replaced by 9 terraced houses. I don't need a ride on mower, a pair of nail clippers is sufficient to get the job done in about 3 minutes and 4 seconds annually.

[Tom Burke]

Those aren't lawns, they're fields!

I have a typical UK garden (for the time of the house - 1930s), about 100ft x 35 ft. Of that, maybe 50 x 25ft is grassed. That's around 2.5% of an acre. And as I say, that's typical for my sort of house, 1930s semi-detached. Terraced houses (older or younger) will typically have smaller gardens, as will more modern semis - much smaller in many cases.

I don't know anyone with a motorised mower. I use an electric mower which I plug in to a socket in my lounge and then run an extension lead. There's a sliding door from the lounge to a patio, across which lies the lawn.

The problem that I and many garden-owning householders face in my city is: what to do with the cuttings, etc? Let me introduce you to the Tyranny of the Green Bin. I pay my city council for an extra collection service - garden refuse. The city council supply a green wheely bin and come round and empty it once a fortnight, on a given day. This means that I have to fill the green bin in time for that day. Too soon and the vegetable matter will start to rot and smell; too late and I'll miss the collection. So, rain or shine, cold or heatwave, sickness or health, in the few days before Green Bin Day I'm out there mowing the lawn, trimming the hedge, clipping the path edges, and maybe - maybe - doing some weeding. All to get the ****** Green Bin filled by the due date. I feel oppressed....

[Nigli]

That's the first time I've seen anyone convert an (obsolete) currency to a unit of length.

[Robert Roaldi]

There's an old Freakonomics podcast episode about lawns that everyone should listen to: https://freakonomics.com/podcast/how-stupid-is-our-obsession-with-lawns/.

[Gert-Jan]

Here in Germany there are all kinds of actions to save the bees, and not mowing your lawn until June is one of the recommendations.
Some only partly mow their lawn, leaving patches with long grass and flowers. The resulting works of "art" can be quite interesting.

[glenn brown]

Sorry Mike, the HP of your mower is 17 hp as indicated in your photo and the numbers on the screen are hours not miles as indicated by the hour glass symbol beside it.

[Brian]

Use fresh fuel. Ethanol laced fuel draws moisture and goes bad after a couple months. Overwintering equipment without draining the fuel is a pretty good way to gum up a carburetor.

[JimF]

dm is decimeter or 1 tenth of a meter or 10 centimeters.
1 dm = 3.9 inches
But I assume you were joking. Great post. Reminded me of spring.

At 10 years old my daughter cut our lawn on the Cub Cadet riding mower. She had to sit on a weight to defeat the seat switch. She cut the lawn for me until she left for college. I am so thankful for those years.

[Ken Burg]

"So the lawnmower engine is NOT 90 horsepower, as I stated...it is 180 horsepower, as you can see for yourself. " What I see is the model number has 180 in it and on the left it clearly says that it is 17 horse power.

[JoeB]

Hey Mike you wanna race your riding mower?
For pink slips? (HA)
I'v got an old Craftsman riding mower, 18HP and a 42 inch circle of cutting power.
But your mower is pretty, mine is an old dull gray color. Lots of grass/weeds under its blades over the years.
stay well
Jb

[Simon]

I suggest you sell the Deere and get yourself a self-propelled model that you walk behind. Mowing the lawn will then be an activity, a bit of a workout to complement your gym sessions; it's outdoors in the fresh air and it's also good for your mind.

I know you'll say "but it takes too long!" and yes, it takes longer than that lazy-boy armchair thing, but it will help lengthen your healthspan, not shorten it. You sit down too much already (as most of us do).

After years of lugging non-propelled Hayters around our huge, lumpy hillside plot my Dad bought a Honda. It never missed a beat - typical Honda - and was brilliant.

[Scott]

“They serenade the weekend squire / Who just came out to mow his lawn”, Gerry Goffin and Carole King, “Pleasant Valley Sunday” (song), 1967

[Bob Johnston]

Very late to the party. I have been in a place with poor Internet. I enjoyed this very much. The exaggeration and nonsense appeal to a British sense of humour.

[Jez Cunningham]

I’m in the uk but I bought a Craftsman petrol mower from an expat American. It was labelled as One-Pull Start. What a pity it wasn’t First Pull Start…

[That's very funny! As kind of a word guy, I love stuff like this.... --Mike]

[Nick]

My hatred of yardwork is beyond measure (in inches or cm), and after living in an apartment for a decade, I fully intend to die (in a few more decades) without ever again owning a patch of green-tinted wasted effort.

[Bill Duncan]

Nuke the lawn! Not good for the environment. Sell the mower as scrap so nobody else can use it. Plant a forest instead. I did and happy with it. So is the wildlife. I prefer wildlife to humans mostly anyway..

OK on the Wisteria. It's like the infamous beanstock? We have a wisteria that I swear will lift our house off it's foundation someday.

As always, enjoy your writing. BTW, I'm interested in the pentax K-3 III beast. I have a few K-3 (classic) bodies and toying with an upgrade. (Most of my photos are B&W where colour is just noise.. LoL)

[Artisan S]

Hmzzz, I once saw (ont a phototrip) a rabbit sitting on its hindlegs following a Husqvarna lawnmower of the "I do the mowing while you snork variety". Ears pricked up and all. Clearly it was thinking else these pesky bipeds would come up next, and wether or not this grass mulching competition was a thread or not