On Resolutions: A Coda

After writing dyspeptically-slash-humorously about the futility of resolutions yesterday, I felt chastened when I looked up and revisited my actual resolutions from last January. Here's what I wrote then:

"Real resolutions are behavioral and spiritual.

"One of the reasons I started TOP more than 15 years ago is that I wanted there to be a little oasis where at least gratuitous negative energy was kept mostly at bay. Where casual and needless snark and scorn and casual provocation wither from lack of nourishment. By and large we do pretty darn well, you and I. But there is certainly no shortage of negative energy out there in the world.

"So my resolution for this year is to work on improving tolerance. Although this is at root basically a spiritual goal, there are many concrete ways I can work on it. One, for me, will be to be as mindful as I can be of negative energy—not only to recognize when others are dumping it on me—and work on tolerating them when they do—but to be more aware of the situations in which I am tempted or led to dump it on the heads of others."

That seems like a pretty good New Year's resolution, actually, as resolutions go, and shame on me for forgetting I wrote it.

However, on the good side, I've actually done a pretty good job of following through on that idea this past year. I'm learning to look out for and recognize those occasions when my attitude or behavior is distorted by fear, anger, self-pity, resentment, manipulation of others, casting blame, or other negative emotions or habits, and to take steps to correct my thinking. Just as those negative emotions can become habits, looking out for them and recognizing them when they appear can also become habitual, so working on changing those negative impulses and mental habits quickly becomes satisfying and rewarding.

So if any part of my post yesterday seemed cynical or morose, please forgive me!

Kind regards,
Mike

Comments

[Herman Krieger]

Mike, you look upon the negative and positive aspects of life as well as of photography.

[Dave Karp]

Mike,

Thanks for creating a great place for us to hang out.

Have a great 2022.

[Jim Arthur]

This old Calvin and Hobbes cartoon just popped into my head. Bill Watterson was really good at presenting the kid perspective on life so most of Calvin’s list consists of food gripes but it’s his adult complaint that really makes this strip work for me. Makes me laugh every time. I think I’ll just resolve to be a little more like Hobbes.

[Sean]

I read this once in a while to remind myself not suck on sour candies or mistake reactivity for wit

https://www.theonion.com/awful-man-offers-witty-acerbic-take-on-everything-he-s-1819570846/amp

[Nick Reith]

"Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't turn out - take another shot"

Not my quote, but one my late mother clipped out of a newspaper and gave me many years ago. It is one of my cherished keepsakes.

Don't beat yourself up about your previous post Mike, we are all friends here thanks to you.

Happy 2022 to all.

[Dave_lumb]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b084j8yq

[Bill Allen]

This reminds me of a quote from James Clavell's novel, Shogun. "... that to think bad thoughts is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral you down into ever-increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort. This is one of the things that need discipline –training- is about. So train your mind to dwell on sweet perfumes, the touch of this silk, tender raindrops against the shoji, the curve of the flower arrangement, the tranquillity of dawn. Then, at length, you won't have to make such a great effort and you will be of value to yourself, …”

[Jeff1000]

So the New Year's resolution for last year was censorship? 🤣