Very unfortunately, I have to take a few more days off. I hate to interrupt the conversation and I apologize sincerely. Family business to attend to, unavoidable. I have to say, this has been a difficult Summer.
Back Friday, and "miles to go before I sleep."
—Mike
P.S. If you ever have to bring caregivers and other workers into the houses of older relatives, secure the valuables before outsiders so much as set foot in the house. Lock up the jewelry and, if you can't put the valuables under literal lock and key, at least itemize and photograph everything. And do both at the earliest possible opportunity, for otherwise there's never a time.
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Featured Comments from:
Michael Cytrynowicz: "Oh s**t sorry to hear Mike."
Peter Williams: "That seems like a s**t attitude to and generalisation about caregivers and other workers."
Mike replies: Hmm, good point, and I'm sorry. Caregivers are among the blessed of the Earth: the good, responsible ones are doing work that benefits human beings as well as the human family as a whole. On the other hand, in every barrel of people there are a few bad ones that diminish the rest. In the news recently we have watched that with police officers, in people like Michael Slager and Derek Chauvin, but a large number of police officers are upright individuals who sincerely serve their communities and do a good job. In like fashion, what is likely a very small number of caregivers, those who neglect, abuse, or steal, stink up the air for the rest.
Maybe I should have worded it better: if you don't sensibly secure your elders' valuables from the start of their decline, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Alan Ampolsk: "About your PS? Amen! One of the many notable episodes during my father's Alzheimer's was the home health aide who lifted one of his credit cards, which we hadn't properly secured, and used it to pay her cell phone bill—which resulted in her name appearing on the credit card statement. There is no such thing as a criminal mastermind. Nevertheless—be careful out there."
"Miles before I sleep" - a quote from this famous Charles-Bronson-movie, LOL.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Charles+Bronson+Miles+before+I+sleep&docid=608007819789357063&mid=F0B68FBB3D40C65D5B38F0B68FBB3D40C65D5B38&view=detail&FORM=VIRE
Posted by: Anton Wilhelm Stolzing | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 09:00 AM
And if you have an estate sale, make sure valuable items are out of the house until the day of the sale. The sale for my in-law’s items suffered a break-in the night before thanks to the sale company’s ad that included the address, sale hours, and directions to the house.
Posted by: Roger | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 10:38 AM
Stopping by woods.... Robert Frost
Posted by: Ian Hunter | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 12:05 PM
The poem always gets to me as a dying friend texted it to me about a month before she died. Meant more then than when I did it back in school for A level. I hope all goes as well as possible for you and yours.
Posted by: Ian Hunter | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 12:08 PM
I completely agree about securing the valuables, after my dad's bank card was cloned by a carer. The same woman stole all the meat from the freezer when she left.
Posted by: Roger Bradbury | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 12:34 PM
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, Mike. My grandmother spent the last year of her life in an assisted living facility, and she lost every bit of jewelry she hadn't already given to other family, including her wedding ring.
Posted by: Nick | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 01:30 PM
oh, shit
Posted by: Giovanni Maggiora | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 01:59 PM
The quote is from "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost (1922). Currently caretakers for an older relative ourselves, we full know and understand the dilemma you present. Best of luck to all dealing with such.
Posted by: Rob White | Tuesday, 20 July 2021 at 05:21 PM
Mike;
very sorry you have had the experience to give the advice.
Posted by: Dori C | Wednesday, 21 July 2021 at 01:55 AM
Mike, you may want to consider a day clock that clearly shows the day of the week and time of day (Morning, Afternoon, Evening) for your relative.
Posted by: Jim Arthur | Wednesday, 21 July 2021 at 11:22 AM
Very nice, Mike.
from the net:
'The very earliest use of the phrase Black Friday dates to 1869 and had nothing to do with Christmas shopping. It was the day plummeting gold prices caused a market crash, the effects of which were felt by the U.S. economy for years.'
and...
'Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost - 1874-1963'.
Posted by: beachbum | Wednesday, 21 July 2021 at 12:35 PM
I listen to Miles before I sleep too. Mostly the early stuff,…not “Bitches Brew”.
Posted by: K4kafka | Wednesday, 21 July 2021 at 07:00 PM
Oh s**t sorry to hear Mike
Posted by: Michael Cytrynowicz | Thursday, 22 July 2021 at 12:32 PM
Sad and sorry about your troubles, the P.S. sounds disturbing. Keep going and stay healthy!
Posted by: Robert | Friday, 23 July 2021 at 02:48 AM
Regarding locking up valuables, I hear you :(
When my father suffered a crippling stroke back in 2012, I trusted my parent's household help to keep an eye on my mother during the times I had to leave her alone (I lived and worked some 300km away then).
One day when I came back I noticed my father's camera (which I had left on his desk) was missing.
My father was a photographer. I had been given my first camera (a Ricoh KR-10 with a SMC Pentax 55m f2.0 lens) by him at the age of 14. Everything I know I learned from him.
I had gifted my father the now missing camera (a Sony R1) as a birthday present on his 60th birthday, a couple of years ago. I know he immensely enjoyed the gift, he took a couple of thousand photos with it.
So now the camera was gone. It was perfectly clear what had happened, and it left my mother and me devastated. Here we were, going through all kinds of really heartbreaking sh*t, my father wasn't even dead yet, and the people we trusted to help began looting the place.
I was really hopping mad and phoned our household help. I said I knew they had the camera and I could prove it (which I couldn't) and I would give them only one chance to return it to me within an hour before turning this to the authorities.
Luckily, the strategy worked. Our household help's husband arrived after half an hour and handed me the camera, telling me some tale about his wife "just wanting to secure the camera" in case my father's creditors would start to seize his stuff - which was, of course, utter nonsense. I just told him to get out of my sight and never cross my doorstep again.
I'm immensely glad that I got the camera back. It might just be a completely outdated piece of technology, but it means very, very much to me. My father died that same year. Seven days later, I took his camera and made some photos which can still be seen here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/stephubik/albums/72157632233584349 ...and just as I am writing these lines I feel it's high time to take it for a walk again.
I was lucky that things worked out this way. But in the meantime I heard of a lot of people wo weren't that lucky, so I can only concur, as sad as it is: Keep your valuables and precious memories locked away if you find yourself in a similar situation...
Posted by: Stephan | Friday, 23 July 2021 at 06:45 AM
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, by Robert Frost. One of the finest he wrote.
Analyzed and over analyzed, the poem - especially the repeating last two lines - is one to read often.
It and The Road not Taken, two of his finest that leave questions for contemplation.
Posted by: Daniel | Friday, 23 July 2021 at 08:43 AM
Going back even farther, Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening".
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/42891/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening
Posted by: Paul Ambrose | Friday, 23 July 2021 at 11:41 AM
My aunts were in assisted living and wanted their special jewelry with them. And all was stolen. Just know it's going to happen.
Posted by: ed rapin | Saturday, 24 July 2021 at 05:38 PM