Blog Note: Gratitude is the Attitude (OT)

Tom Lovell (1909–1997), Surrender at Appomattox.
Painting commissioned by National Geographic in 1965.

It's my birthday. (George Harrison's too, so go listen to "It's All Too Much." One of the greatest of all psychedelic-era songs, if you ask me, not just of the Beatles' efforts in that genre).

Birthdays, to me, are like Halloween trick-or-treating...great and memorable fun when you're little, and then you try to hang on to the magic until you're maybe fifteen, when you're past the right age for it and it's starting to get a little, let's say, awkward. You're too cool for a costume and your voice is breaking, if you're a guy, and if you're a girl you don't even want to be a ballerina or a princess any more, and you're almost as tall as an adult and...well, all right, kid, here's your candy. But grow up. You don't get to go backwards.

After that, birthdays make nice excuses for family get-togethers and a good reason to connect with friends you like and don't see much, but it's not really necessary that they be all about the person who's turning whatever double-digit age. For many of us, many birthdays go by as just another day, and that's okay. They're just mileposts on the stretch of highway we get to travel, whether it's fifty or seventy or ninety miles long.

That's one of the best things about birthdays now. I know my stretch of highway gets to be at least this long! Increasingly, every year that passes is a little tiny...victory. At 63, it's worthwhile for me to remember that this age was the average life expectancy for American males in 1944, which was just a few blinks ago in galactic time. Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant, who both survived the Civil War, each died at 63. And, save one eye-drop every morning, I don't even have to take any medications. Almost no matter what event you're considering, you can look at it with gratitude if you try. (Isn't it weird that no one thought to have a photographer present at the surrender at Appomattox?)

I don't think time is linear anyway. Scientists rationally space years as if they're all equidistant regular points on a graph line, but I look at it this way: years feel like whatever percentage of your life they are. They're 1/10th of your life when you're ten, then eventually 1/30th, then 1/60th and so on. So this past year was 1/63rd of my life and it cracked past pretty quick. Months feel almost like weeks used to. I don't worry any more about having to wait for things, for instance—time passes fast, and whatever you're waiting for will be along. Going to a concert next month? That day will arrive before you know it. Waiting for a lens from Japan? No worries, just keep living your life and voilà, it'll be at the door.

And some periods of your life are full of intense living, and others are place-holders, like the filler around the hits on a great old vinyl album. In 1976–78 I lived as much life as I have in other periods of my life that lasted a decade, by the clock. 1993, when my son was born, packed in many years' worth of drama.

Every day
This isn't a bad time of my life. I wake up every morning and pray, which is an odd thing for a former rationalist materialist atheist to be doing, but it makes me feel better. The longer I do it, the more of my morning prayer is taken up with thoughts of, and blessings for, others—I also pray every day to be relieved of the bondage of self, so what better way than to be praying for other people? I had a salad for breakfast today, and I won't eat after three, just like every other day. I have a standing date to play pool at the bowling alley this evening, before my meeting.

And gifts? well, I'm blessed—I get gifts intermittently throughout the year. I don't just get to talk to my son on my birthday, but all through the year. I wrote about my new glasses and my repaired eye the other day. What's a great picture but a gift, for that matter? It's like we're fishing and we catch one. I had two runouts in one day the other day (in the game of 8-ball, a runout is when you sink all seven balls of one set, stripes or solids, plus the eight ball, in one turn). I've never done that twice in one day before; that was a nice gift. A reader named Fred Morrison, out of the blue, sent me a wonderful care package of old equipment he doesn't need any more. He thought I might like some of it. And I do. It's wonderful, and it might even change my life. This past year a reader named Jay Burleson gave me one of the nicest presents I've ever gotten. And I have 815 Patreon supporters! How awesome is that? (Thanks to every one of you.) I have readers, who care enough to read what I write. That's a gift right there, for someone who calls himself (somewhat egotistically) "a writer." It's more than Emily Dickinson or Franz Kafka had.

No, I'm grateful every day. Gratitude is the attitude that helps you be happy.

Anyway, I'm going to take the day off. My brother's family and I used to have what we called "sushi blowouts" for my son's and my February birthdays, so, in honor of them, I'm going to drive to Corning and ceremonially indulge in a little animal protein in the form of bits of raw fish and other ingredients cunningly crafted into delicacies. Sybaritic and self-indulgent, God knows, but hey, today's a milepost on my stretch of highway, so I'm going to rationalize and indulge.

Back tomorrow, same as always.

Mike
(Thanks to Fred, Jay, the 815, and all my supporters, commenters, and readers)

Original contents copyright 2020 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

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(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Henning Wulff: "Have a great day, and even more so, a happy, healthy and satisfying next year. And remember: You're now too old to die young. When you think about the things you can/might/should be grateful for, you find that there are an increasing number of things to be grateful for as you go on. An additional reward for being grateful. It also tends to keep you from being that guy who yells 'Keep off my lawn!' at kids."

Robert Stahl: "Wonderful article, Mike! One of my favorite quotes on gratitude is by the 13th Century German mystic Meister Eckhart: 'If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.'"

Marten Collins: "A happy birthday old fruit, there is something rather pleasant about getting older! Seen it before, eaten it before, heard the promises before and got over it before. Enjoy."

Comments

[Nicholas Hartmann]

Happy Birthday, Mike. Enjoy the sushi!

[Tex Andrews]

A couple of things; I explained your principal of percentage of life lived to a student of mine years ago, who was having a bit of a hard time relating to the world (he was a little older, and had somewhat more extensive experience in the world than his peers). I agree with that way of looking at things, and also agree with your assessment of eventful vs. placeholder periods of time.

As far as Appomattox is concerned, what I just learned (from Bruce Catton's biography of Grant) was that the period immediately leading up to Appomattox was very rapid and fluid, and it wasn't really clear right up to the day that the surrender was actually going to happen. It was a little touch and go exactly where (and if, contemporaneously) Lee was going to get pinned by Union forces, and things were moving fast.

[Don McConnell]

Happy Birthday young man! I hope I’m as hale and hearty at the same age. I have about 10 years and many thousands of frames (photographic, not pool) to go, I hope!
All the best, Don

[Speed]

"Anyway, I'm going to take the day off."

But only after writing and publishing 977 words. Enjoy (the rest of) the day.

[Ken]

Be sure to take your camera loaded with the first roll of film. If you're ever going to finish those rolls, your birthday when you are in a good state of mind seems as good a time as any to get started, right?

[David Lee]

Happy birthday Mike. Your work makes us all happy.

[Michael J. Perini]

Happy Birthday, Enjoy the Sushi !

[SteveW]

Happy Birthday Mike!

[Stephen F Faust]

Happy birthday, Mike! No matter which direction your photography turns (film, etc...) please keep writing these types of OT posts. Excellent advice and a great read regardless of the specific of our hobby.

[Jay Photodd]

Happy Birthday, and Happy Mardi Gras Mike. My birthday next year falls on Fat Tuesday, so I'm planning on a trip to New Orleans to celebrate. You and your 815 Patreon supporters are all invited!
Laissez les bons temps rouler, and enjoy the sushi.

[Kaemu]

Bon anniversaire!

[Kenneth Voigt]

Expound on: "the bondage of self", please

[A bit of a dog whistle, for which sorry. It's a phrase from the Third Step Prayer in the Big Book of AA. --Mike]

[Dave Jenkins]

Happy Birthday, Mike, and here's to many returns of the day and many more years of your excellent blog. In line with your comments today, here's something you may find of interest.
https://www.breitbart.com/faith/2020/02/11/tribute-orson-bean-said-mere-christianity-turned-him-around/

[Ray Maines]

I no longer pay for expedited or overnight delivery. Why would I? I'm 73 and the package will arrive soon enough.

[Lynn]

Happy Birthday Mike! Enjoy your day off, and the sushi. Sincere thanks for the gift of your writing, and your generous spirit.

[MikeR]

Hey, Happy Birthday!

(mine was Sunday - 78! Makes me wonder how in the world I got here, and grateful for what I have)

[Max Young]

Happy birthday. Wonderful post. Regards.

Max from Down Under

[JimH]

Like everything else, it is answered on the web
"Why are there no photographs of confederate surrender ending civil war?"
https://www.vox.com/2015/4/9/8371435/appomattox-surrender-sketches

[Moose]

"At 63, it's worthwhile for me to remember that this age was the average life expectancy for American males in 1944, which was just a few blinks ago in galactic time."

That's my birth year, with my birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. So, one might assume I've beat the odds by quite a bit. But that's a common misreading of the statistic.

"There is a basic distinction between life expectancy and life span,” says Stanford University historian Walter Scheidel, a leading scholar of ancient Roman demography. “The life span of humans – opposed to life expectancy, which is a statistical construct – hasn’t really changed much at all, as far as I can tell."*

My age is comfortably within normal life span. No panic.

* Source.

[Jim Arthur]

Happy Birthday, Mike. I’m grateful for the breath of fresh air that is TOP. Your writing and willingness to share are always appreciated…as is the knowledge, experience, and passion found in the comments.

We photographers are lucky enough to have the insight of an artist and the gumption to go out and explore the world with a camera…it’s nice to have a place like TOP where we can come for inspiration or just hang out and talk shop.

“None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.” ~Henry David Thoreau

[Kirk Decker]

Happy Birthday, Mike!

[Peter Croft]

Happy birthday Mike from your antipodean bro. I turned 73 on the 12th, so we're close. My mother died at 73 (from the canker) so that makes me think. Then my father died at 78 also from the canker, which makes me see the bowel guy every five years without fail. These are the things that get ya at this age.

My next driver's licence renewal is in two years, and my next passport renewal is in eight years. Those are my milestones to reach. I feel OK, so far.

But this Covid-19 virus would probably do me in, given all the factors. Travelling's out now for the foreseeable future, but being in Perth, Western Australia, I'm probably in one of the safer places of the world, and I haven't gone anywhere near exploring this huge (1 million square miles!) state.

I should buy that Fuji GFX50 and a good wide angle lens and go exploring as we head into our very mild winter. Sell that Mazda MX-6 (the thrill's worn off; too hard to get in and out for an old codger like me!) and take my Honda MDX and see my state. Before it's too late. I've been too attracted by everywhere else. Time to stay home.

[Terence Morrissey]

Happy Birthday Mike

[scott kirkpatrick]

Is Corning the closest sushi, or do you have additional objectives down there? Regardless, enjoy the birthday!

[There's a very nice restaurant in Geneva, where I usually go, but they're closed on Tuesdays. --Mike]

[Mark Morris]

A very happy birthday to you! Great post and love your work on this blog!!!

[Jim Fellows]

We share the same birth day, I am just 9 years behind. Happy birthday and to many more for both of us.

Jim

[Jim K]

Hey Mike,

Happy (belated) birthday. You saying prayers in the morning makes me smile. You pray in a fine style, as well!

Hope the sushi was fantastic. I will still indulge as well, although it's been 8 months of wfpb diet for me! Still sucking down the Vin and Tonics, so thanks for the recipe.

[Rob Griffin]

Happy Birthday Mike!

I just turned 73, 9 days ago. I share and admire your thoughts on gratitude. I have been very lucky and blessed in my life, I think (pray) and say "thank you" every day. I am very thankful to you and your readers for the gift of your writing, your thoughts, and everyone's comments. Cheers to all y'all!

Rob

[Jordi P.]

Belated belated happy birthday. I read the blog every so often and given the busy lifestyle I don't tend to comment. BUT this topic touches home.
I passed 25 recently (younger demographic of the readers I imagine) but hate birthdays as I somehow expect to gather things that won't be there, such as family/friends or meetings that won't happen.
It's better after 25. I chose to fly on that day and began a developing & printing session on the afternoon. Sadly didn't see the friends I wanted nor even had many greetings (everyone relies on facebook as a bday reminder) but thanks to being on the run during that day, I just didn't stop to notice.