Sunday Support Group: You Don't Lose Until You Stop Trying (OT)

Well, Summer's over. Boo-hoo. Maybe just boo.

It's been a beautiful Summer, but difficult. I haven't been doing a very good job with my various resolutions lately, and it's getting me down. That's awkward to admit, but I need to be honest. I haven't touched my book project since my operation, and I stopped being strict about my WFPB aspirations after the last post I wrote on the subject. It's depressing.

Regarding the latter, my problem is merely my sweet tooth, which sounds benign maybe. The term sweet tooth is a "sweet" (so to speak), grandmotherly term for what might also be called sugar addiction. You might think "addiction" is too strong a word to attach to mere sugar, but that would indicate that you have a normal adult relationship with sweets and sundry treats made of baked flour. Cookies, cakes, doughnuts, and other such insidious substances.

In case you are not so lucky, the best book I know on the subject is Kathleen DesMaisons' Potatoes Not Prozac (originally published in 2008). Potatoes Not Prozac was slammed heartily for political incorrectness two ways to Sunday: by people who were helped by Prozac, who couldn't understand why she was picking on them, and, in the nutrition arena, by the glycemic index crowd. But it's written with enthusiasm and inspiration and it's a good read, and I notice it's about to be republished in an updated edition*.  It was the book that opened my eyes to my own particular problem.

Cigarettes and beer
It's discouraging that I haven't been able to "kick" sweets'n'treats. But I do know a thing or two about addiction, one of which is this: almost everybody struggles before they win. I was addicted to nicotine—I was a two-pack-a-day smoker of unfiltered cigarettes (State Express 555, Player's Navy Cut, and Camel unfiltered) for 14 years, and it took me a solid year of mighty struggles to quit. But quit I did. And I was a drinker for 19 years—who knows how much of that time as an alcoholic, but certainly some of it—and it took me eight years from the day I first determined to quit to the day I finally did.

That year of struggling to quit smoking and eight years of struggling to quit drinking didn't define my battles with those things. Endless though they seemed while I was in the middle of them, those periods were in fact transitory and temporary. What better defines those battles now are that I haven't touched a nicotine product in the past 34 years, and I'm coming up on 29 years of sobriety in just a few days.

My sobriety date is September 10th, 1990, the first full day I was out of detox**.

I no longer have the slightest desire for smokes or drinks. But while you're in the thick of them, the battles seem overwhelming: they will drive you to the edge of despair. I tried everything to quit smoking. Or, at least, everything I could think of and every trick that was available 34 years ago. If you had asked me in the middle of the process what I thought my prospects were for success, let's say I'd have been pessimistic.

It's tempting to think sugar addiction isn't serious. Cravings triggered by breads and sugar are, what, maybe one-tenth as strong as cravings for alcohol, one-twentieth as strong as those for heroin, and one-fiftieth as strong as those experienced by crack addicts? (Those are nothing but seat-o'-the-pants guesstimations. I made the numbers up.) But what such cravings lack in intensity they make up for in insidiousness: they're socially acceptable and they surround us on all sides, 24/7. Go to any gathering and people will push desserts on you. Go to the auto parts store or the pet supply store and at the checkout counter there'll be a rack of candy. There is almost no food in the supermarket that doesn't contain added sugar...even onions. (That's right, onions are now being hybridized to be sweeter than they ever were.) Entire industries encourage you. All of society is complicit.

I've finally decided I need to treat my sweet tooth as if it's as serious as my nicotine and alcohol addictions were. In people like me, eating sugar and "easy" carbohydrates—like the fluffy white bread baked daily by the nice young Mennonite mother at the farm up the road, which I can buy at their roadside stand sometimes still warm from the oven—triggers food cravings. Not just cravings for more bready things and more sugar, although certainly that, but cravings for more foods of all kinds. For people who have a "sweet tooth," we can't eat just a little sugar now and then. Once the cravings are triggered and get going, we've started a cycle that only abstinence can stop. Many people these days are stuck in such an fiercely endless cycle that they essentially never stop ravening for food.

In the woods
On the good side, sugar withdrawal is mild, non-life-threatening, and doesn't take long. Detox isn't needed. The worst cravings should be over within four days, and gone within three weeks. (I was going to say "compared to booze, it's a piece of cake"—too much?) The danger is relapse. 

I'm not out of the woods as I write this. Where any kind of addictions are concerned, not everybody wins. Many people die with their addictions intact. And don't think we don't die of sugar—some Americans call diabetes "the sugar" like sub-Saharan Africans call AIDs "the slim." Nearly one person in ten in the US population has diabetes, and almost a quarter of those don't know they have it [source]. The great Eric Dolphy died of untreated diabetes.

On the good side, you don't lose until you stop trying. The statement holds true even if what stops you from trying is death.

People do win—two friends from Wisconsin who had the worst problems with obesity of anyone we knew are both now skinny people, which is astonishing and wonderful, and I know plenty of people who are trudging the road of happy destiny in decades-long recovery from drugs and/or drink.

Almost everybody has to go through a period of struggle before they win. It's almost soul-cleansing to admit defeat the first or second time; but it's embarrassing, excruciating, and depressing to admit defeat the tenth or twentieth time. It's very discouraging to fail again and again. But we have to. It's just what we have to do. My struggles to quit smoking and drinking were worse when I was in middle of them. I'm just in the middle of this now, is all. Mustn't give up.

Courage. You don't lose until you stop trying.

Mike

*I'm looking forward to seeing what she's changed, and whether her enthusiasm and inspiration remain intact. Subsequent editions of nonfiction books often lose their literary coherence because they get lost in addressing objections raised to things written in previous editions. If you want to read The Origin of Species, for instance, I would recommend searching out the first edition text, not the sixth which was the last that Darwin emended in his lifetime. The sixth does contain his counterarguments to his critics, but it's less inspired, loses the flow of the original, and is not as good to read.

**If you have a drug or alcohol addiction and want to quit, start with detox (a 2- to 5-day hospital treatment to wean you safely off your physical addiction) or rehab (typically a 14- to 30-day period of inpatient or outpatient treatment that begins with detox) because quitting on your own is dangerous: between 1% and 5% of those who quit cold turkey without medical supervision die of withdrawal. Withdrawal effects for various drugs can range from very mild to extremely severe and can last from a day or two to 30 days or even more.

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(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Dogman: "My maternal grandmother died of diabetes. So did my mother's only brother. My stepson was recently diagnosed with it but he has it controlled, mostly with diet but he also takes medication. He found out he had diabetes when he had painful sensations in his feet. Not a good thing but he has been remarkable in getting it under control.

"I quit smoking in 1991 after almost 30 years. Went from unfiltered Chesterfields to Lucky Strikes to filtered Marlboros to smoking pipes and bumming whatever cigarettes my friends were smoking at the time. A bad case of bronchitis cured my nicotine addiction. Sitting up in a chair, coughing for 12 straight nights instead of sleeping is one of God's harshest lessons. But I learned it well. I actually feel nauseated when I smell cigarette smoke today.

"Sadly, a young lady I was in love with in the 1970s died last year at this time with metastatic lung cancer. We were both smokers when we were together. The last time I saw her was a few years ago and I believe she had stopped smoking. Apparently the damage had already been done. She underwent five years of surgeries and chemo from what I understand and that is a hard way to spend any part of your life. Rest in peace, dear one. You deserve the best Heaven has to offer after those final years.

"I've always had a taste for good booze but I could never be an alcoholic. I can't stand hangovers and I hate the way I feel if I drink more than a couple of beers, two glasses of wine or two cocktails. Tonight I'm gonna have a nice single malt Macallan with a drop of water. Single malt scotch and a nice Cabernet Sauvignon are my occasional treats for being a good boy.

"I also have a taste for sugar but I don't indulge often, especially with my stepson coming around to visit frequently. We just don't keep sweets in the house anymore. Over the last couple of months I've managed to lose quite a bit of weight by cutting back on portions and eating more vegetables than previously. After a while, I no longer feel hungry very often."

Mike Ferron: "I wish summer was almost over. When living in Maine it seemed winter would never end. Here in Austin it seems summer will never end. Looking at the 10-day forecast there is no end in sight to the 95–100 degree highs."

MikeR: "I quit smoking in 1976, the year my daughter was born. I did not want her to grow up in a smoking household, with me being the everyday bad example. However, I only quit at home. Every day at work, I resisted until mid or late morning, then caved and bought a pack of Marlboro. I'd toss what was left at the end of the day. That went on for seven months, until I got a wicked cold and painful sore throat. I still remember the morning when I caved again, bought a fresh pack, lit up, and suddenly sort of stood outside myself and said, 'Are you crazy?' Stubbed out that cigarette, crushed the pack, and hoped for three more days of soreness to help get past the chemical part of my addiction. The real work began after that, untying the psychological and emotional strings that support the habit."

Alan: "Don't beat yourself up too much Mike, you're human not superhuman and us humans don't always succeed at everything immediately. Sometimes we need to try and try again or maybe for the sake of our health and happiness accept that things have changed a little; adjust and take a different path."

Johan Grahn: "Thanks Mike! Addictions and habits go hand-in-hand. I just realized that. And it can be so many things. Someone said it takes three weeks to create a new habit. At least, is my guess. Money, power and sex are the most fundamental drives in our lives. Or motivators I guess. But beyond that there is so much else. Not just food and drugs. Essentially it is a mental problem. You can be addicted to controlling other people, for instance. Best cure to all unhealthy 'habits' is a good understanding of self. I have the power to change myself. And it is not other people's fault that I have problem. Change really begins with myself. (I wrote this mostly to myself!)"

Mike replies: I wrote this post mostly to myself, as well.  :-)

Tim: "A couple of comments. First, I read somewhere that 'If sugar isn't an addictive substance it certainly behaves like one' (with the inference that you should treat it as such). Second, I have a friend who is a food scientist and she tells me that it takes about 18 months to wean ourselves off our craving for sugar. So whilst not as extreme as the craving for nicotine we should nevertheless treat our desire for sugar seriously, with patience and persistence. Good luck!"

Comments

[Mike Potter]

Courageous post, Mike. I wish you success on putting your sugar addiction behind you. And (early) congratulations on making it to another sobriety anniversary - both of my grandfathers had substance addictions (both to alcohol, one also to narcotics), so I have some familial experience with how difficult they are to overcome.

[Mark Kinsman]

Well written Mike. Good luck with the struggle, sugar is a tough one for me too. If I don’t have it around the house it helps, but it’s far too easy when out and about to give in to temptation.
Everything around us in the USA encourages over consumption.

[Dan Khong]

Mike

Visit a church and listen to a sermon.

Dan K.

[BERND REINHARDT]

I could say that "it is ok," but as a fellow procrastinator, I know that it isn't ok. I think it is time to get less and smaller goals for yourself and make sure you accomplish them. There are times when we need to give ourselves a break, and then there are times when we need to suck it up and get stuff done. I feel a little unproductive myself and I think I need to find people that hold me to my goals. Maybe I'll sign up for a class or something.

[Chris Kern]

Sugar addiction? Yes, of course. We are all hard-wired for an affinity to cheap calories. Spend 16 hours a day hunting and gathering, and it won’t be a problem.

Mike: Well, Summer’s over.

Assuming you’re still in the northern hemisphere, you have a few weeks to go.

Or maybe it’s the sugar talking.

[Mike Plews]

As one of my friends reminds me when I get down on myself about diet and exercise "baby steps". Sometimes you just stall. Don't beat yourself up over it.

[JH]

The whole science of craving is now looking at our microbiomes. Our body is host to may 2-3 times as many organisms as we have cells - trillions by current estimates, many unknown. Knowing you like to research interesting topics, I offer these from Futurity, the group that collects university research:

SCIENCE HASN’T SEEN 99% OF THE MICROBES IN YOUR BODY
https://www.futurity.org/microbiome-microbes-dna-1522642-2/

176 or so articles on the microbiome like the one above published by university researchers
https://www.futurity.org/?s=microbiome

[Bandbox]

Camels, really? Hard core!

[MHMG]

Hey Mike, I've been paying careful attention to any number of off topic posts and even some on topic posts you've written over the last couple of years. There's a subtle underlying theme, IMHO, and it's getting me depressed.

It isn't about diet, it isn't about alcohol, it isn't about sugar rushes or smoking or any other vice. No, the common underlying theme is about getting old. I hear ya, man. I'm probably just a little older than you, and it resonates in very clear and uncertain terms. I'm going down that road, too. Of all the vices on this planet, the "I'm gettin' old" addiction is probably the worst. Time to kick that habit and take stock of all that's new and exciting. Gettin' old is just not worth a pity party. Embrace it, and all the rest of one's problems will become entirely manageable.

[c.d.embrey]

I know someone who's nickname is Prozac. His obsession is peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. I've known Prozac, for about fifteen years, and haven't a clue as to his real name—even his wife calls him Prozac. During this time I've never seen him eat anything except PB&J 8-0

Sugar is in everything—peanut-butter and spaghetti-sauce are not exempt. Some people fool themselves by saying I don't use sugar, I put honey in my tea. Yeah, right!

I have a strong dislike of sweet. I don't eat cake, candy, jam/jelly, pie, white-bread or yams. No sugar for my French Roast or Matcha.

We live in interesting times (Chinese curse reference). I often get disapproving looks when I refuse the offer to have Strawberry Jam slathered my Rib-Eye steak.

[Robert]

Hm, I discovered that when the cravings are at their worst, a new lens or a body or at least a bag help. At least for a while. One has to go outside to test it, has healthier life for a while etc. As we say over here: Two flies with one slap...

[Thomas Paul McCann]

Like you I gave up nicotine and alcohol. Tobacco was a real b***h, alcohol not so hard. I decided to give up drink for 6 months to lose some weight and after 3 months decided I was a better without it.
I know I have a sugar addiction so stay away from it as much as possible. No sweets, or biscuits when I'm being good. When dieting I allow myself one biscuit at bedtime,safe in the knowledge that I'm not going to get out of bed for another one and anticipation of that one treat tides me through the difficult mid evening time.

[Malcolm Myers]

I enjoy your WFPB posts. They inspire me to try and lose weight. I have already lost some but need to do more. Please keep the WFPB posts in a link somewhere so that I can read them again.

Thank you.

[Stephen J]

So once we have cured ourselves of these frightful addictions, we have a long and depressing old age to look forward to.

Perhaps the addictions were merely us developing management tools for later life?

Comme ci comme ça...

[MK]

I am 72 years old. I quit smoking when I was 30. I smoked from high school through the military up until age 30. One+ packs of Camels, then to two+ packs of Marlboro, then to up to three packs of Vantage with its plastic filter and "low nicotine and tars". Notice an addictive marketing trend by the tobacco industry?! I also dabbled with "weed" during that time.

Then, I quit COLD TURKEY because the woman I fell in love with did not smoke and did not like being around smokers, especially when her year-old daughter was with us. I have not looked looked back, and like Dogman I can not stand to be around the smell of smoke or smokers.

Don't get me started on the latest marketing ploy..."I quit smoking and have turned to JUUL"....REALLY?

And, yes, I too enjoy a beer or two, a Black Russian, or nice dry Cabernet, but never too excess.

I applaud your convictions Mike and wish the continued success with the reduction or total elimination of damaging sugars. I was addicted, I use the word appropriately, to Diet Coke. My wife convinced me after much effort that aspartame was no good for me. Then I switched to regular Coke with HFCS (high fructose corn syrup), a new addiction. Finally I kicked HFCS and have not had a "soda"or "pop", depending on where you live, in the past 10 years.

I am not bragging, just letting you know that all things are possible when you commit yourself to success. But you know that...29 years sober...34 years nicotine free...kudos to you Mike.

[Andy Wilkes]

Me too. Summer may be over but so is the added temptation to sit in the garden with a beer or 2. (But beware the temptation of a nice single malt in the cold dark evenings indoors - if I have any in the house it lives far enough away that I can't just reach for it out of habit). I too hate having a fuzzy head and 2 occasions with the Scottish nectar have made me determined to never have a day after like that again.
Me too... a hernia op in March meaning that I had weeks of mashed vegetables (remarkably tasty with some seasoning) that meant the weight fell off me even though I was mostly immobile. Alas too much of it has gone back on again. I can recommend the 5-2 diet, it really worked for me even if some days it's just not possible to keep below 300 calories.

[McD]

Suggestion one: find substitutes for sugar. Dates, almond butter and bananas are mine. Walnuts and guacamole also. All these are satisfying and healthy.

Suggestion two: keep sugar out of sight. Toss any you have, and don't buy any more. None. Nothing tempting within reach. Out of sight, out of mind. Let go of it.

Easier said than done? Give it a try. It works for me.

[Jeff1000]

Hey Mike, you're craving sugar because your body is not adapted to burning fat as a fuel source. Look into IF (Intermittent Fasting).

Sugar craving is also a symptom of a lack of sodium. Your body needs sodium in a 1 to 2 ratio with potassium.

[george andros]

Mike:

Thanks for a Sunday lesson that lasts a whole week long.

Hard numbers on diabetes are often difficult to substantiate and the 10% figure of people with "walking diabetes" (think "walking pneumonia") is one of those numbers. There is, however, wider agreement on a more worrisome statistic: about 25% of Americans have pre-diabetes, with obesity being its most notorious predictor.

[Kenneth G Voigt]

Good post

[Simon]

Mike, if you've already surmounted the two huge hurdles of smoking and drinking then at least you have experience of achieving those goals as well as the inevitable setbacks that you encountered on the way to freeing yourself of those incredibly powerful addictions.

Keep working at it. Perseverance *always* pays off, even though many times it won't feel that way.

[robert e]

Congratulations, Mike! Keep it up!

More ammo: Added sugar is linked to cardiovascular disease as well.

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/1819573

[Speed]

Re: the controversy over Potatoes not Prozac and many other ideas good and bad about how to cure what ails us … a cartoon from the August 19, 2019 New Yorker …

A woman is sitting on the exam table while another woman in a white coat and stethoscope (a doctor I think -- there was a time when the assumption would be that she was a nurse) says, "You should start taking probiotics now before we discover that they don't make any difference."

[David Martin]

Very Well Said! It inspires me a lot. Thanks!