More on the Nikon Z7III

SA*

The Internet thinks the new Nikons tomorrow will be called the "Z6" and "Z7." In a stunning scoop, TOP has just learned that, thanks to an 11th-hour decision by Nikon top management, which is NOT in a collective cold sweat over all this, the high-resolution 45-MP-sensor one of the pair will actually be called the "Z7III." Nikon spokesmodel Flibber T. Gibbett called the unconventional move "daring" and said, "Nikon always thinks out of the box and goes places no others have gone before. This naming is to better distinguish us from our main rival. So that everyone will be completely certain who we are better than, and know which product to buy in preference to theirs. We want to be sure this is emphasized."

Why add the "III," when there have not already been a "null" and "II" versions as with the competitor's models?

Gibbett answered that the III in Nikon's case is not a version or variant number, but is sophisticated subliminal advertising meant to remind rich people of successful, rich, and super-cool people with Roman numerals in their names such as Paris Hilton boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III, Green Bay Packers football star Clay Matthews III, Rigdon Osmond "Rick" Dees III, Coy Luther "Luke" Perry III, Alexander Rae "Alec" Baldwin III, former President of the Philippines Benigno S. Aquino III, and Marshall Bruce Mathers III a.k.a. "Eminem."

But not the conniving hunchback Richard III or mad King George III who lost the colonies to independence? Said Gibbett helpfully, "We do not want to be associated with dead kings."

We politely mentioned that we had supposed the III might be homages to the famous 19th century actors Bandō Mitsugorō III and his archrival Nakamura Utaemon III. (Japanese, you know.) But here Mr. Gibbett got agitated and corrected us, saying "No! No! Those guys are dead too! We are not associated with anyone who is dead! That is off message!"

Recovering his composure, he exclaimed, with great feeling, "The whole Internet is talking about us!"

...Which it is. The king is not dead.

We expect the name "Z7III" to be officially confirmed tomorrow....

Always first with important predictions,

Mike

*This post is satire, of course. In fact, nothing could possibly be farther from the name "A7" than the name "Z7."

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(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

John Camp: "Mike said, 'The Internet thinks...' LOL."

Mike replies: A few things I've learned on Internet lately:

• People get excessively drunk sometimes.
• Cranes fall over.
• Forklifts can be overloaded.
• Attempts to show off can go wrong.
• Totally shocking and unforeseen, but people grow older and then look different than they used to.
• People, especially Russians, are bad drivers.
• Obese people are sometimes not as athletic as they think they are.
• And the biggie, which continually fascinates Internet viewers: people fall down.

And something unfortunate: most people are apparently not very sympathetic when other people, even their own children, hurt themselves.

But the Internet does show us some really interesting things too. For instance, here's an improbable "capture" of lightning hitting a tree; I'm not sure I've ever seen anything like that before. [Warning: NSFW profanity at the link.]

Signed, a Guy on the Internet.

Josh Hawkins: "Give it a year. We’ll have the DZ7V MKII iBVR EX AF R, because that’s how naming conventions go and it just won’t end. Why can’t it end?!"

Comments

[Mike Marcus]

I can say only one thing after reading this: ;-)

[Bob johnston]

Wonderful. I really enyoyed reading that. About time evryone started taking new cameras less seriously anyway.

[Peter Gilbert]

So, in regard to naming:

1. The Leica CL is not the Leica CL
2. All Sony FE are E but not all E are FE
3. All Nikon Z are S but not all Nikon-S are Z

Okay then, copy that!

[Santasimage]

Don’t they say “a day late & a dollar short” ? That’s Nikon! Developed a hand tremor in my right hand, needed stabilization, looked around, switched from a Nikon D750 to a Lumix GX85 w/ 30/60 (whichever) macro and its wonderful. Yes, the image quality is definitely different but it has grown on me. That was last March — now Nikon offers stabilization but no sign of a macro yet. Let’s see how much they leave out of the baby Nikon but I’m happy where I am ...... no GAS yet.

[Robert Pillow]

Regardless of what these entries are called, I'm holding out for the next generation -- Z8 IROC.

[beuler]

III stands for Intelligent Imaging Implement.

Or so the Internet thinks.

[Steve Jacob]

Thanks for that Mike - you do tongue in cheek so well, but I had a good laugh.

I wonder if they will come up with an APSC version called ZZ-xxx and 1" version called the ZZZ-xxx. Would seem quite appropriate after watching these tedious teasers. I have lost almost any interest I might have had...

[Stephen Gilbert]

You jest, but it's been reported (by Nikon Rumors) that "Handling and ergonomics [of the cameras] are perfect."

Perfect is pretty good, no?

[Not THAT Ross Cameron]

I look forward to Nikon doing something truly innovative - with naming conventions. Let’s see them try using non-standard characters such as ‘!’, or even ‘~’.
Nobody has ever done anything like that before, ever. Just ignore Prince’s period of legal stoush with his record label...

[You've forgotten about the Pentax *Ist and *Ist-D.... --Mike]

[Peter Church]

Ha the thing you most desire in a camera Mike is in the new Nikon's IBIS!

[Eolake]

Is there a single big tech company with good naming conventions??

[Aravind]

Would you perchance contribute this piece to theonion.com? :-)
p.s: the i is not capitalised in the Pentax *ist, is it?

[subroto mukerji]

...and also Oliver Barrett III.
Flibber T. Gibbett had me ROFL :)

[subroto mukerji]

No, I refuse to believe Z7III. How low can Nikon sink?

[Not THAT Ross Cameron]

Hi Mike,
Thanks for assuming that I might have known about the Pentax models, in order to have forgotten them. Unfortunately, being an amateur, my knowledge is not steeped in lore.
Of course, learning of this curiosity from the deep recesses of some marketing committee meant I had to have a quick look at the specs, and it was interesting to see D vs DS discussion articles from some 15 years ago (based on Nikon D100, according to the interwebz). Even seeing the ‘high speed’ winder of 2.5 frames a second for the film version gives one a sense of perspective.
Cheers,
Ross

[Dave]

Mike,

The words "stunning scoop" gave it away for me. You're not one for bombast, so the satire seed was planted early in the article.

Thank you for the video link. Now that was cool!

(Do I have OCD, or am I just obstinate when I retype my screen name and e-mail address into the boxes under the comments box, despite the helpful prompts? I feel like using one of Carol's (Cheryl's) lines from "Archer"; "Don't tell me what to do! You're not my supervisor!")

[Sven W]

Ha! Assuming Nikon's R&D department reversed-engineered the Sony A7 and A7II as part of designing their new Z series cameras, then the "III" moniker might be appropriate.

The Z6 / Z7 look like capable units. Definitely competition to Sony's A7 series. Sony has done a good job of making the FF mirrorless interesting; with Nikon onboard it should get more interesting!

[Disclosure: Sony A7R3 owner]

[Luke]

The NSFW part of that lightning strike video is entirely justified.