Sunday Support Group: Family Matters

Alyssa and Xander horsing around at Watkins Glen

I love the phrase "family matters," with its serendipitous ambiguity—it means both "family concerns" and "family is important."

My son and his new girlfriend have been visiting since Wednesday, so I've been on vacation. We went to Watkins Glen, the Curtiss Museum, the Finger Lakes Boating Museum, and the Corning Museum of Glass, and their visit gave me permission to go off my diet for five days—we've had several SAD* meals and went out to dinner four times. They're into board games, so we played several nights. One of the ones we played was an incredibly complex game called Scythe. Fun.

I used to take a sort of "not my thing" attitude to complicated board games, but now I think it's good mental exercise for me to learn them, so I was a more willing participant this visit. Of course I couldn't have managed without Xander as a guide. Scythe was funded on Kickstarter in 2016 with the help of 17,739 backers, who pledged $1,810,294 to help bring the project to life. Xander is deep into board games and very adept at them. He still wants to try his hand at game design, despite working 50+ hours a week.

And it was great to meet Alyssa, who is a centered young woman of integrity with a sharp wit but even temperament, a nice combination.

As for my own LTP**, my writing discipline went AWOL for a few days because—well, you know, family matters. But I'm okay with that. I haven't seen Xander since last October and, as a Dad, albeit semi-retired from active duty, pretty much nothing makes me happier.

Xander at CMoG

If you're a parent I'm pretty sure you can relate!

Mike

*Standard American Diet

**Long-term project

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(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Mark Cotter: "There are moments when one just requires a Like button."

kirk tuck: "I agree with what everyone else said. I love this blog!!! And I'm having fun with my kid too. He's perfect. Thanks for all the perspective Mike!"

Jay: "Lovely post! One of those instances where I wish Typepad had a Like button!"

Comments

[Jake]

While I have a rather small and subject-specific tattoo on my left forearm, a souvenir of my time as an infantryman in Vietnam Nam, I completely fail to comprehend this recent fashion of defacing one's body with large areas of inky graffiti. Could you ask Xander waz up wi' dat arm of his?

[Hans Muus]

Great! Needless to say, you're sooo right - imagine the opposite: 'Though I unfortunately had to call off a visit by my son (whom I have not seen since last October, it's true), I can now proudly present my definitive review of the Fucanikon XL-M with its fantastic 54 MP sensor, its game-changing Genius III processor and its fully overhauled joystick. Photography will never be the same again, and neither will I.'

[Eolake]

It’s weird to see the writers I follow... “he has a little son... who, uhm, just went to college... and now has three kids...”

[Michael Perini]

Good for You! Enjoy every moment.
-Nice Corning Glass Pic.
m

[Nigli]

Thanks for this Mike. You and Kirk Tuck are proving to be healthy influences. Thanks to this series I've dusted off a manuscript and am pounding out 1000 decent words a day during the week. Thanks to Kirk I'm cycling again and getting up to 100 km a week-long short of the 450 a week I used to Do, but even so.

[Jason Orth]

An early Happy Father's Day, Mike!

[Mike Plews]

Philip Roth said “don’t write, remember”. If you don’t embrace your family every chance you get then what are you going to have to remember?

[Daniel]

"V" for Victory? Is the kid a WWII enthusiest?

[MikeR]

As a parent of a 50-year-old and a 42-year-old, I can relate for sure.

As Suze Orman says, of life's priorities, "People first, then money, then things."

[Catherine Hill]

I remember coming to visit when Zander was a wee babe. As a matter of fact, me holding him at a mere one month is one of my favorite pictures. And, another favorite shot is Zander at age four at my wedding holding (instead of the ring box he was to bear) the tupperware box with a moth inside. He had named it "Moth-y" and he was very serious about its care. Family matters indeed. Much love to you both.

[Catherine Hill]

*Xander! :)

[Kenneth Tanaka]

Xander all growed-up! And he sounds like quite a top-drawer person. Congratulations and well-done...both of you!

I love the Brancusi-like image of Xander.

[Steve Rosenblum]

Z looks great, Mike (Or is it "X" now?). You done good!

[Dan Khong]

Mike

I sense the loneliness that you feel between last October and Xander's recent visit.

Eight months is a long time...and even eight weeks is a long time. I really don't know how or what to say more to encourage you.

Some might say that our kids are entrusted to us for a period of time and we have the responsibility and a legacy to pass on to them.

Well, I suppose that when our kids remember what we taught them, reflect on the memories of their childhood with us and are able to declare the love that we have shown to them, then fatherhood (or parenthood) can be deemed a great achievement.

Dan K.

[Tex Andrews]

I can relate. My eldest is now in Vienna with her husband---so, 8-ish hours by aircraft, 6 hours telephone/video chat difference; the youngest is at Berkeley, 5-ish hours by aircraft the other direction, 3 hours phone/video chat difference. Won't see either one or our splendid son-in-law until Yule...

[Matt]

Nice that you write about family. It matters to me too.

I am familiar with advanced boardgames - often called eurogames - but my son is too young, my wife not interested and my friends too busy with other stuff.

Try El Grande or Citadels. Not too difficult and two of my favorites.

[Howard]

....in response to Daniel-

Xander is flashing one of two salutes: During WWII a knuckles forward salute by Churchill meant "up yours" by working class Brits. Churchill, when told about the faux pas, reversed knuckles towards face. The knuckles forward salute was adopted by the peace movement during 60's as its peace sign- my guess is that Xander's presenting peace signs.