Sunday Open Mike: Dogs

So it looks like the Hand of Fate is moving.

It got set in motion when my old barber bugged out. Left the employ of the barbershop (which is called, insouciantly, "The Barbershop") altogether. I hadn't even gotten used to her yet; if I could, I'd have the same barber for life—I'm very barber-loyal—but recently I've been a nomad, as one after another shifts onwards in life. Nothing's permanent.

Conversation is important during a haircut, because it's awkward to read a magazine and it lasts just long enough that my mind can get bored. Of all my mundane fears, having nothing to think about is the most pervasive. I had auditioned a couple of replacement barbers. One was a great conversationalist but gave me a haircut that looked vaguely Millennial; another gave me a fine haircut but evidently considered communication to be outside her job requirements. Finally I found Emily. At first, I thought conversation might be a problem because Emily is beautiful, a curvy blonde with pretty features. Beautiful women sometimes erect a defense of standoffishness, by necessity, because they don't want to inadvertently encourage interest on the part of random stray men {*cough*}.

But I needn't have worried—Emily turned out to be a pet lover, which not only speaks well of her character but, as a topic of conversation, is plenty good enough for a hundred haircuts. Once we landed on the topic, we had an animated and increasingly friendly discussion about our beloved dogs.

During the course of which she recommended a dog food she had just discovered called Merrick.

I liked what I read about it. I do indulge in the best for my dog, I admit. My buddy Lulu was rescued from a breeder of fighting dogs. She was probably bred to be a "bait dog," meaning dogs that are sacrificed to the prizefighters as practice and to whet the latter's bloodlust. The damage inflicted on bait dogs is not pretty. Knowing Lulu, she would have been infinitely game—despite never having a chance, every encounter rigged—a thought that hurts me. So my guiding principle with her has been that she needs to live a good life to make up for the likely fate of her littermates. I can't help her brothers and sisters; but at least Lulu will be spoiled and loved and understood and treated with respect and care, and live a good life on their behalf. So, yeah, when it comes to food she gets the good stuff. Partly because I want her to eat well and be healthy. And partly it's symbolic.

Two words that make Lulu all excited are "pet store." I imagine it must be a cornucopia of luscious smells for her. I happened to remember the name "Merrick"—I don't always remember names—on our next visit to the pet store. I asked, and they had it. So we tried it.

Lulu loved it. And it didn't trigger her allergies, which is her ongoing health issue—if anything, it's made her scratching and self-biting behaviors subside.

It takes a number of days to properly switch a dog's diet, blending the new food into the old in increasing amounts to avoid any digestive issues or allergic reactions. Once we'd switched, I didn't want to go back.

So then I was left with the better part of two bags of the old food.

On our next trip to the pet store (this time to pay the squeaky toy tax, an ongoing household expense), I encountered an employee of the local HAWS (Humane Animal Welfare Society) shelter, who was apparently there as a public service. I remembered our extra food and asked if I could donate it to the shelter.

Next came a trip to the shelter to drop off the food, and that's when I finally realized that Fate was in play. I successfully offloaded the surplus food.

And then I figured I'd have a look in the dog kennels.

As long as I was there.

Uh-oh...

[TO BE CONTINUED]

Mike

"Open Mike" is the editorial page of TOP, occasionally off-topic. It appears only but not always on Sundays.

Original contents copyright 2014 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.

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(To see all the comments, click on the "Comments" link below.)
Featured Comments from:

Ailsa: "I like where this post is going...."

Jim Hart: "After some searching I found the perfect barber. When I sat in the chair for the first time he asked 'How do you want your hair cut?' I replied, 'quickly and silently.' And so it has remained...."

Patrick Perez: "Mike, part two had better include photos.

"On a side note, my brother related a comic from the Funny Times to me yesterday. A cat is speaking to a dog. 'Wait, you're saying my intern is your best friend?'"

Jamie Pillers: "Don't give us that 'Uh-oh' thing!! WHAT HAPPENED?? How long am I going to have to wait to read the next installment of this saga? D**n...I hate waiting for the ends of stories like this!"

Mike replies: I have to wait for it to happen before I can write about what happened. More soon, promise.

Comments

[Mark Johnson]

Mike,

If you are feeding LuLu high quality grain free food, such as Merrick (some) or Orijen, you can swap them out without the transition period from food to food (unless your dog ihas a very sensitive stomach). The main reason dogs have a hard time switching between dog foods is related to the different grain profiles in different kibble. Since dogs don't normally eat grain much in the wild, it takes them a bit to get used to a certain food and when you switch foods quickly it screws up their digestive system.

With grain free food, this is not a concern since there is no grain...usually things like potatoes are used as the binder.

[Chris Norris]

Merrick makes really good cat food as well. We've been feeding it to our cats for years now. My wife has convinced me that dry food food for cats is harmful. Hot tip: if you buy a lot of animal food (we buy five cases of Merrick a month for our three cats) you can "subscribe" to the food via Amazon and get a discount.

[Stephen Gilbert]

[TO BE CONTINUED]?

You needn't say more, just post a photo of the new dog.

[Pak-Ming Wan]

... when you met Louise who was shopping for kennels for her dog, that got along just fine with Lulu. You talked for a bit and you find out she loves photography, collecting cameras, jazz, dogs, good sushi, good coffee, playing pool, a well-off widower who is single, and here's the kicker: she's a great hairdresser and owns her own salon.

And everyone lived happily ever after, etc. etc.

Pak

p.s. Do I get a prize for the most creative ending?

[Herman]

Dog barber cut and wash shop -

[Ken Ja mes]

Uh Oh.. Merrick is a nice food, it is one of the foods in my dog food rotation (big subject). Two dogs are fun. I like that you like dogs.

[Bob Rosinsky]

Mike, two dogs are better than one. We have a dignified senior, 40-pounder, Heinz 57, in our family. We rescued her from a shelter in Boston. ... Yes, she barks with a brogue. Then, after migrating to Central Florida some years later, I began photographing dogs on commission. As it turned out, my best customers were ones with Wiener dogs. ... And, my best friend here has a pair of Wieners. I convinced my wife to let me contact some Wiener dog rescue organizations. In keeping with our philosophy of only rescuing mutts, we managed to find an eleven-pound Chiweenie (Chihuahua/Dachshund. He's bossy, barky, a bit neurotic, and totally silly. It is great having a mini-pack around. Singularly and as a duo, the dogs are great fun. We've learned that dogs come in pairs--two are better than one.

[Rod Graham]

I can also highly recommend Drs. Foster and Smith adult dog food. Our Lab has been eating this for about three years now, and has really done well on it. And he likes it. A bit less expensive than the Merrick dog food, and seems to be a very similar kind of product.

[Bryan Willman]

You do realize that dogs are telepathic, right? Some of them read email by telepathy?

So Lulu told the dogs at the shelter 'really good soft touch coming, and I'd like a playmate, look extra friendly and cute!'

And they turned their Human Whisperer powers on you...

(I have a friend who claims that almost all dogs are Bryan Whisperers...)

[ann]

You can never "just look" at the pet shelter......
How is the new dog settling in?

[Fiddlergene]

Puppies are to be avoided at all cost, unless they already possess a human slave.

[Robert P]

A british politician [Enoch Powell for those who know or care] was once asked by his barber how he would like his hair cut... "In silence," was the famous reply.

[Roger Bradbury]

My dad has 'rescue' animals as pets. The cat trained the dog to get my dad to go into the kitchen and open the back door, so that the cat could come in without the terrible indignity of actually having to use the catflap.

It took less than a month for the cat to train the new second dog (and so my dad) to do the same. The dogs will go to anyone, the cat avoids nearly all visitors, but comes to me. That pleases me more than I can explain.

[Dave]

We have two dogs and three cats. I'll hold off judgement until you acquire your sixth pet.

[Paul Amyes]

I could never ever go to the dog shelter as I would want to bring them all home with me. At the very least one would capture my heart and I would have to rescue it. So I can see where this story is going.

[Jim in Denver]

Grain isn't very good for dogs - the best thing I ever did was start feeding mine the grain-free Merrick.

Seeing such positive results in the dogs got me interested, and I have totally cut out all wheat, and most grains, in my diet,and have never felt better.

[Moose]

A dog? That's all?

My last cutter was very pleasant to look at*, very easy to talk to and had a pet - a large boa constrictor.

Of course, she was decades younger than I and had an age appropriate boyfriend, but that was really all to the good.

When she left the shop, I quit, going the old guy ponytail route.

Moose

* What one might call 'smokin' hot'.

[darr]

Just another GOOD REASON to have a bigger TOP headquarters!
I cannot wait to hear the rest of the story ...

[Mike Plews]

I have been lucky enough to have had the same barber since 1984. As you can see Stan is kind of amazing for 82.

http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/Stan-the-Fit-Barber-236973781.html

[steven Ralser]

We feed our dog Fromm, which is actually a WI company. Plus he gets multivitamins and fish oil tablets everyday as well (more regularly Than I take them).