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"Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
—Gloria Vanderbilt, quoted by her son Anderson Cooper on Late Night with David Letterman, Nov. 19th, 2013
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Everyone's life is a struggle when seen from the inside, is what she's saying, I think. So we might as well be kind to one another, out of sympathy and acknowledgement of each person's struggles with his or her own difficulties.
A nice thought.
Mike
UPDATE: Quote Investigator notes that this is often attributed to Plato and sometimes Philo of Alexandria, i.e., to "generic ancient sage." But the quote probably traces back to Scottish author Ian MacLaren, who said "Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle"—"pitiful" used in the anachronistic sense of "compassionate, merciful, tender," and (ahem) "man" in the sense of "person."
"Ian MacLaren" was the pen name of Rev. John Watson, who, in 1903, writing under his own name, said, "This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle; we are bound not to irritate him, nor press hardly upon him nor help his lower self."
(Thanks to Ade for this.)
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Featured Comments from:
Geoff Wittig: "That is so painfully true. As a family doctor, on a daily basis I am astonished by the strength and fortitude of average folks, and by the surprising number of your friends and neighbors who are contending, with quiet dignity, with genuine tragedies in their lives. You just never know when a kind word will make all the difference in someone's week. Or when a casual dismissal or insensitive slight will heap insult on top of injury."
That is so painfully true.
As a family doctor, on a daily basis I am astonished by the strength and fortitude of average folks, and by the surprising number of your friends and neighbors who are contending, with quiet dignity, with genuine tragedies in their lives. You just never know when a kind word will make all the difference in someone's week. Or when a casual dismissal or insensitive slight will heap insult on top of injury.
Posted by: Geoff Wittig | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 08:16 AM
One of my favourite quotes, but the original source was probably a Scotsman going by the pen name Ian MacLaren: http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/06/29/be-kind/
Posted by: Ade | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 08:38 AM
Wasn't it Philo of Alexandria who first said that?
Posted by: Matt Miller | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 08:55 AM
Indeed, every one has struggles in this 'veil of tears.' Compassion. Patience. These are called virtues for a reason.
Posted by: Chris Klug | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 10:03 AM
Geoff: Yes, yes! What a true!
Posted by: pedro-rafael | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 10:08 AM
That is a great quote and it really got me thinking that is would also work well in the way you might view your business competitor!
Posted by: Shane Jackson | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 10:29 AM
Oh, how very true. A great friend of mine died recently and only after he died was I told about his life. I learned still more at the funeral.
We seldom know what drives even our friends.
Posted by: Roger Bradbury | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 10:54 AM
Thoreau said something similar;"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." We all have dreams and hopes but much of the time the world gets in the way. Everyone's life would be easier if we all had more compassion for one another.
Posted by: Jim Bullard | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 01:40 PM
You'd have to say that the Internet Search Engines are the 8th Wonder of the World.
You can quote me of that, but I'd have to admit that "Google is your friend" has a better ring to it!
Posted by: Sven W | Friday, 29 November 2013 at 06:23 PM
@ Geoff Wittig:
So completely true...
Bearing witness to the tremendous strength and courage displayed by "average" people who have entrusted their care to us in the face of life threatening/altering challenges is one of the great privileges of being a physician. I find myself regularly in awe and deep admiration of my fellow men and women.
Posted by: Steve Rosenblum | Saturday, 30 November 2013 at 07:18 AM
that reminds me of something my triathlon coach said last week - never judge another runner, you dont know how far they've come or how far they have to go.
Posted by: pete | Sunday, 01 December 2013 at 04:37 AM
What an interesting article which brings back memories.
The Rev Dr John Watson was the first Minister of Sefton Park Presbyterian Church in Liverpool, England. My Father became Minister of this church sixty years later and a member at this church gave me a Kodak camera and started my interest in photography in 1965.
Sadly the magnificent church has now been demolished, but I still have a Kodachrome!
Posted by: Gareth Rees | Sunday, 01 December 2013 at 10:20 AM
My axiom to this: Drive like we all have a three-year-old in the car.
Posted by: Jake | Sunday, 01 December 2013 at 05:14 PM
The Rev. C.J. Stanley used to be a guest speaker at the Unity Church of Austin. She was old enough to speak her mind, but young enough to be energetic about it. She would say, "Remember that everybody's doing the best they can...It may be pitiful, but it's the best they can.
Posted by: Clay Olmstead | Tuesday, 03 December 2013 at 09:56 PM