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Tuesday, 07 May 2013


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"That's schmegeggy. If sleeping is a profession, I wanna know—that's going to be my next job."

Sounds tiring...

I've always seen it spelled "nudge." Although, maybe never mind - the autocorrect for that might be more embarrassing than "noodle."

Give it some time. Look how long it took camera makers to get auto exposure right.

Dear Mike,
Kimberly Clark sells a "Pro" version of a paper towel dispenser (think next to the sink in a public facility). I refuse to think about what an "Amateur" or perhaps "Pedestrian" version would offer. It is difficult to imagine washing ones hands would be a professional skill set.
I don't want to think about this any longer.
Chris Kleihege

What would they put on condom advertizing, "Xxxx like a pro!" ?

"If sleeping is a profession, I wanna know—that's going to be my next job."

In probably the most famous cartoon strip of the 40s and 50s, Al Capp's "Li'l Abner," Li'l Abner (the main character) was the "mattress tester" at the Dogpatch mattress factory, which meant, of course, that his job was to sleep. Just thought you'd want to know that there are some possibilities out there.

Somewhat relevant article:


And this, well, because it's Cagney:


The worst part of auto (correct, spell, complete) are the ones that do not let you turn them off.

Doing technical writing and having all your subsection (c) converted to the copyright symbol by Word is a pain.


Sleep like a PRO? Isn't that the world's oldest profession?

Would I be a noodge if I reminded you that the first round of choices for the Readers' Print Sale was completed in November of 2011?

If memory serves, I believe Lil' Abner had a job as a mattress tester, so maybe your goal of being a pro sleeper isn't too far-fetched.

Dear Mike,

"If You Give a Mike a Noodle" will be the next best-selling children's book.

Also, you musta seen yesterday's Rhymes With Orange (consistently the cleverest comic being drawn today):


pax / Ctein

"Sleep like a PRO!"
Brings to mind the worlds oldest profession, which is probably not what they had in mind.

I'm sure I won't be the first with this :) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/7581912/Advert-offers-600-a-week-to-sleep-on-the-job.html

I also saw somewhere an ad for a job that is sleeping in the bed in the shop window - like a live mannequin. If that doesn't constitute professional sleeping I don't know what does...

Three letters

You could be mistaken in the assumption that "PRO" is short for "Professional".
I can think of another word it is often used for on the eastern side of the pond that is more closely associated with beds (but maybe not sleep).

PRO is an acronym; Pricey, Replace Often.

The biggest story in a long while, the Adobe Creative Clown, is all over the web and forums yet you seem oblivious to it. I mean who cares about autocorrect when this is happening ?

[Ctein and I have been talking about it, but for the moment I don't have anything to say about it. We're late adopters here, not breathlessly first with the day's undigested news. --Mike]

The use of PRO is almost as bad as referring to great bed sheets as the best sleep app ever.

I think perhaps you have "miles to go" before you sleep. At least let's hope so.

>>If sleeping is a profession, I wanna know—that's going to be my next job.<<

Al Capp would be sooooo proud....



Oh well, I suck at sleeping too.....

The fact that something called Spell Check should be called Spelling Check gives me good reason not to use it!

Along with "pro" everything (pro-sumer cameras come to mind) I've learned to hate the word "extreme." Extreme sports, extreme couponing, and of course extreme memory cards. It's all as silly as "double secret probation."

I wouldn't dare to give too much control to my computer, - I've spent too much time on the web site "Damn you autocorrect" to risk it!

Spell check on the other hand is useful.

I just bought a new 27" iMac with the Mountain Lion OS. I'm guessing it's a result of that, that email now has that dumb autocorrect. It is so annoying. I hate it. It might be nice if it learned, but it doesn't seem to.

But given your own problems with sleep, would you really like to sleep like a PRO? Get thee to BB&B!

Sleep like a Public Relations Officer?

Speaking of sleep, how's the CPAP working out?

I would say that is more of a "bubba-maisa" than "schmeggegy", but your mileage may vary! 8-)

It (Auto Correct) wouldn't be bad if you could turn it off. At least on my phone that's not an option.

There was once a comic in the "Sunday Funnies" where a character was a mattress tester. We all know what that was, and I would like to be one, but don't think I would like living in that alternate world

Not to be a noodge, but "schmegeggy" is a noun, its terminal "y" notwithstanding.

Closely related:

May not be your style.
Nature Lover

Spell checker, used by witches
Spell check, used to pay witches.
Spelling checker, used by writers.

If it wasn't for auto correct I'd have no idea that I was right all along.

I still have to come across an auto-correct/spell-check/ dictionary app which has a broader vocabulary than mine, even though I'm not a native English speaker. These apps improve over time as you add more words to its memory, including in my case, untranslatable words in my first language. Which is why I hate having to upgrade my computer.

Cellphone apps that anticipate text are particularly frustating. I won't buy a cellphone which has a predictive text app that can't be turned off. I'm looking forward to the day when AI has sufficiently developed that such apps, including translators, get the nuances of human language.

Here's an e-translation from the original Bahasa (not my first language) of the condition of "Brand New" and "Mint" used cameras/lenses:

Brand New (100%):
• Body unit condition is 100% brand new.
• The previous owner has never used it.
• The previous owner could be: a collector, received it as a gift, wrong/regret/double/purchase by mistake.

Mint (95-99%):
• Body unit condition likes new.
• It’s been used by the previous owner rarely, but there is no trace of usages.
• The previous owner could be: half collector and half user, has not much time to use it, or easily get bored.

If I don't watch it, I'll probably fall under the category: "wrong/regret/double/purchase by mistake" which is slightly less onerous than the "easily get bored"(g).

I had this up on my fridge for years:

I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It highlights for my review
Mistakes I cannot sea.

I ran this poem thru it
I'm sure your pleased to no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My checker told me sew.

Just search on Google and you'll find a much longer version that's even better.

I would assume that anyone with readers already has spell check, fact check, grammar check, and correct opinion check anyway, so having it as part of anything outside of an e-mail program is redundant. Depending on the e-mail recipients, it may be redundant there too.

for those who are griping that Auto-Correct, Spell, etc can't be turned off - I have good news for you: you simply have not tried. Its quite easy.

On iOS devices: Settings App > General > Keyboard > make your selection...

On OSX (system-wide): System Preferences > Language and Text (top row labelled "Personal") > "Text" tab

OSX Mail: Mail > Preferences > Composing > make a selection in the "Check spelling" pop up menu.

There - all set. You are quite welcome.

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