Best Internet Post Ever

Your own favorite printer excepted—I'm sure yours works fine—the following post will nevertheless resonate with certain individuals who have experienced, uh, difficulties with printers. For those individuals, I think it's possible that Oatmeal's "Why I Believe Printers Were Sent From Hell to Make Us Miserable" might actually be the best thing ever put up on the Internet....

Mike

P.S. Due to recent health problems I haven't cracked the box on the Canon Pro-1 yet. I'm still aiming to get there soon. I'm sure this post doesn't apply in any way, shape or form to that one...(please god...).

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Original contents copyright 2012 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.

Featured Comment by Paul Crouse, Kyoto, Japan (this was the first comment that came in for this post —Ed.): "Ha ha ha! I was just having printer problems as we speak. I came to your site to help me calm down so I didn't throw it out the window."

Featured Comment by Hugh: "This sums it all up—cat vs. printer." [Work/school warning—there's some profanity in this —Ed.]

Comments

[David Nicol]

I've just this afternoon been having a little battle with my printer while making some prints that I need for Saturday. Thankfully all that was needed this time a was a quick head clean. But I'm on my guard now just in case it decides to try something else! :)

[David Anderson]

Certainly resonates with me Mike. All I wanted to do was print out 2 6x4 prints last night and for some reason my normally reliable printer was complaining about some missing filter or some such nonsense. Usual voodoo of removing driver and putting it back in 'fixed' it. (And this is on a Mac...).

[Mike Jones]

I think the joke here is that any sane person would printing at 03:00 in the morning. Just office machismo. Try Dilbert instead.

[odaiwai]

Printers are evil and they hate us. When the robot uprising finally comes it will be in the form of printers. "PC LOAD LETTER GET THAT HUMANOID" they will shriek, as they roll their ludicrously expensive treads over our skulls.

Our iPhones, iPad and laptops like us: they help use talk to our families around the world, and do our work. Printers: they don't even want to talk to devices on our own network, let alone remember which way we put the paper in them the last time.

[Bermellotheke]

Hope you feel better as soon... regards,

[Bob Dales]

This proves printers should come with a cat in the box.
bd

[Judith Wallerius]

Eddie Izzard has done an excellent bit on that, an encore to one of his shows. We've all been there… (the printer bit starts about 3:20 in):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C_HjWr3Nk

[John Robison]

Oh waaaa, cry me a river.

Seriously, when you have had to wait through the summer to fire up the darkroom because it's too hot otherwise. And then you pull out that half empty liquid concentrate paper developer and find out the stuff is BLACK with oxidation. This is after you have futzed around for a half hour setting up the bathroom to print......and now you got to take it all down! And now you got to order some more developer and it won't be here till next week......and and and....oh rats!!!

[Barry Reid]

I wonder if anyone has actually benn able to buy a printed copy of the poster version advertised at the foot of that page, then?

[Yves Papillon]

Re : Printer noise
Sir Thomas Beecham had similar views on harpsichord: "The sound of a harpsichord – two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm."

[Mike Johnston]

John R.,
This was in no way intended to be a digital vs. analog post!

Mike

[Derek Lyons]

Heh... today on the mailing list for an organization I belong to, there's been not one but *two* posts announcing this or that will not be available for tonight's business meeting because of printer problems.

[John Robison]

Mike J.,
Not my intention. Just a reminder that we leftover caveman have our problems too.
The trouble with electronic post of course is that a wink and a nod are hard to convey.

John

[John Robison]

Actually all I have hooked up to our computer is a laser printer for documents. It seems to be quite trouble free but I have heard all the horror stories from a few friends that have color ink jet printers at home.

[Alex Vesey]

A different take on the issue, but this problem is common in colleges now, as it replaces "the dog ate my homework" excuse for not turning work on time.

[Tom]

I think my bee ninety one f***ing eighty is still haunting my office.

[Bryce Lee]

Photographers and those who print photographs
were never intended to be involved with computers or their kin.

My advice: dump the printer, keep the cat.

Much better solution.

[Gavin McLelland]

Mike, I've had more printer jams last night and this morning than in the whole of the last month. Argggh!
Thanks!!
Gavin

[Phil Maus]

................yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaHAhaahahahah.......................

........................WHOOwooHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

OOOOOOHHHHHH!.............................

............................"happy meat face"..........................

HhhhhhhaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!!.....................whew. 4am is too early to laugh until your belly aches and tears are streaming all over your desk...

[Adam Cavanagh]

I do exactly the same thing to our printer occasionally ;)

[Ivan]

After spending (wasting?) considerable amount of money trying different top class HP and Epson inkjet printers, I have come to the conclusion that the only technically reasonable mode of operation is to print, never stop printing, keep maintaining it, and of course keep paying for maintenance and supplies. I am saying technically reasonable because it is financially insane (if you are not running a business of course).

If you print occasionally have someone do it for you, either on inkjet if you need special media (like fine art paper or canvas), chromogenic prints (find a good lab and you'll be amazed by the advances in c-print print quality and permanence!), or classic silver gelatine black and white (like Digital Silver Imaging or Ilford Lab offerings).