A Memorial Day Story (OT)

Today is Memorial Day, creating one of a number of a three-day weekend holidays in the U.S. Although the main purpose of the day is to remember and honor our war dead, the weekend also serves as the unofficial start of summer. Appropriately, yesterday was the first really hot day of the year here, with the mercury reaching into the 90s (we use Fahrenheit here).

In the morning, my computer mouse died. It had been acting wonky for a couple of weeks. So I had to drive to "the far-away mall," to the Apple Store, to get a new one. (Actually, two, so I have a spare.)

On the way back, I did something I almost never do, and left the top up on my aging little Miata and turned on the air conditioning. I made it about halfway home when, to my alarm, the car lurched several times and conked out, at a stop sign in a neighborhood called Elm Grove. I then noticed for the first time that the temp gauge was all the way over to "hot." So I pushed the car to the side of the road and opened the hood. Despite the hot day, I could feel the heat radiating from the engine bay. The homeowner from across the street happened to be out getting his mail, and he ambled over and inquired as to what was wrong.

So I informed him amiably that I had just discovered that my car's air conditioning presumably only works when it's cool out. Not when it's hot.

Do you happen to remember a post I wrote last December about a white Rolls-Royce I stumbled across by the side of the street with a "For Sale" sign on it? The relevant picture is at the bottom of that post. By coincidence, the intersection where my car died was that very same spot. And after some conversation, it transpired that my friendly interlocutor had been the owner and seller of that Rolls. His name was Scott.

Scott said he was very relieved to have gotten rid of the old car. The maintenance costs had been ferocious. A small bottle of lead additive had to be put into every tank of gas, and the car only averaged six to seven miles per gallon.

He sold it on Craigslist to a guy from Janesville, who arrived with $12,500 in hundred-dollar bills and a trailer. Scott said that when he eyed the car and the trailer, he didn't think it was going to fit. He was wrong—it did fit, it turned out, but just barely—but when the purchaser had driven it up on to the trailer, he couldn't open the doors, which were blocked by the trailer's wheels, so he couldn't get back out of the car.

Scott pointed out that if the guy turned the car around, and backed it on to the trailer, he'd be able to open the back doors and get out of the car that way.

But the car buyer said no, no, it's all right, I'll just climb out the window.

At which point it started to rain.

Scott gently asked the guy how, once he climbed out the window, he planned to get the window back up. Once again, his concern was waved off. "It'll be all right," said the guy. "I'll just reach in and get the window most of the way up." Scott pointed out that most of the way up wasn't going to quite do the trick, given that it was raining. The buyer snapped, "It'll be all right." Scott said he thought to himself, We've done the deal. I've got the cash. It's his car now.

The car buyer was very tall, and the only way he could climb out the window was to stick his butt out first and let the rest of his body follow.

The problem then was that the front window of the Rolls didn't retract all the way into the door. When it was all the way down, it still stuck up above the sill about three quarters of an inch. Scott pointed out this problem to the fellow, and reflexively went to help him so that he wouldn't sit down on the protruding window—at which point, from inside the car, the guy screamed, "DON'T TOUCH MY BUTT!"

So Scott of course backed off. At which point the buyer sat down on the door sill. Scott said he heard a crunching sound and some grinding, and the window disappeared into the door with a big thunk. Mentally, Scott began to calculate just how astronomical the price of that repair was going to be.

By this time it was raining hard. Aside from getting the idea that his help wasn't being appreciated, Scott was quickly getting wet, so he said goodbye to the guy and went inside.

He said he watched from the window as the guy more or less fell out of the car, and then struggled for a while to reach the electric window control, apparently not realizing that the window was now broken. After a while he got a plastic garbage bag and taped it over the window opening with duct tape, which didn't work very well because the plastic, the tape, and the car were all soaking wet. After a quarter of an hour or so, the guy drove off, and Scott saw the last of his beautiful old Rolls. He said he's never been so happy to get rid of a car.

He now drives an ordinary SUV, purchased new.

And after cooling down for twenty minutes or so, my car started right up and got me back home without incident—with the top down and the air conditioning off. I'll try to remember in the future never to use the air conditioning when it's hot outside.

Mike

Send this post to a friend

Please help support TOP by patronizing our sponsors B&H Photo and Amazon

Note: Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. More...
Original contents copyright 2012 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.

Featured Comment by Bill Mitchell: "I had one of those 1969 Rolls-Royces, and it was the biggest money-pit I've ever seen (on the rare occasions when it was running, that is).

"I didn't buy the thing out of pretension, but because my father, who was a self-taught mechanic, told me the story of a Rolls which broke down in our little Tennessee town sometime in the 1920s. He was able to fix it for the 'rich tourists,' who paid him with a $100 bill and a quart of bonded bourbon (this was during prohibition, mind you). In retrospect he decided that they were probably Chicago gangsters carrying a load to Miami. He always told me that it was the finest piece of mechanical equipment that he could imagine, so to own a Rolls became a real goal in my life.

"BIG mistake! I know just how your guy felt.

"P.S., it sounds like your Miata has a bad thermostat."

Featured Comment by Tom Burke: "Here in the U.K. the only reason that anyone would have an old Silver Shadow like that would be to use in a wedding car business. In which case, a white Silver Shadow would be perfect, of course."

Featured Comment by David: "All I can think of is John Cleese playing the buyer of the Rolls."

Featured Comment by Debbie Poulin: "I don't know what I love more about this, the fact that you landed in the exact spot where that Rolls was, that you met they guy who sold it, or that you got this hilarious story out of him. So often we take photos without either having the chance or the nerve to speak to the subjects; this was some kind of karma."

Comments

[Jim in Denver]

I will bet dollars to donuts that your cooling system isn't completely full. I have had similar instances on many different cars, and each and every time it's because the cooling system wasn't filled completely/properly.

Most modern (as in anything 25yr old or newer) cars can only be completely filled through a couple of hot-cold cycles through the expansion tank. Next time you look at the car when it's cold, completely fill the expansion tank, and go drive until it's up to normal temp. Look under the hood, and see what's going on with fluid in the tank - generally you will see one of 2 different things; either the expansion tank will have room in it (meaning that the cooling system needed the fluid and has taken it in, or (less often) it will be overflowing, because the system is full. (Meaning that you have other problems.)

[Winsor]

Mike, it is a Mazda, not the poorly engineered English roadster that it is styled to resemble. I suggest there is something wrong with your cooling system, not running with the air conditioning. Hie thee to the nearest radiator shop or Mazda dealer. It is only going to get worse.

[Rob Atkins]

"I'll try to remember in the future never to use the air conditioning when it's hot outside..."

Or just avoid that particular jinxed intersection.

[Tom Kwas]

...of course, it's too obvious to ask if you checked the coolant level...or if it had been replaced in a while to offer maximum coolant efficiency...

...anyway...

...love the Miata, and used to be able to rent them from Budget rental at the Milwaukee airport whenever the "need" came over me to drive one, usually on my birthday...can't tell you how many times I was out driving one, thinking the valve noise was a little loud, only to pull over and find that the car would be anywhere from two to three quarts down on the oil level...started checking them every time I picked one up...I don't know if they just maintained them badly, or the things burned it off (maybe coolant too) at a rapid level...

...who knows, I don't think you can rent them any more...

[Jason]

Mike, if you haven't yet get the radiator pressure tested, antifreeze and the thermostat checked out. No reason the AC shouldn't work.

[Speed]

We are surrounded by interesting people with great stories. In a perfect world we don't get to meet many of them.

[Robert Meier]

That's a great story. VERY funny.

[James Liu]

It's something that every restaurant deals with every summer, that when it gets hot, the a/c and the ice machines suddenly don't have enough capacity. And of course, with all of that refrigeration equipment throwing heat into the room, it gets worse for the a/c, which in turn causes the refrigeration equipment to have to work all that much harder...

[Godfrey]

That's a funny bit of hijinx, and a sad way to see a nice old Rolls treated. Oh well.

Your Miata needs to be serviced. The AC should not overheat the car. I'd get it looked after as if it's having problems in that situation, it will soon have other problems with the cooling system.

The weather turned cool here in the SF Bay Area the past couple of days, but yesterday it warmed to the point where I had the top down and the AC on in the 12 year old Merc SLK I bought last month. It is so nice to have an open car again. The SLK was in fair condition when I bought it, I've shaped it up a bit, but it will never be as inexpensive to run as my Prius was. No matter, some things are worth paying a bit more money for.

[Pak-Ming Wan]

That story is a bit bizarre Mike: and not the Rolls -- your Miata. Generally if the temperature gauge is going H, that's your radiator temp going high. That usually means a couple of things: low radiator water, a block in the radiator water cycling, or even worse -- a radiator leak.

You should have that looked at by a mechanic -- but as a precaution check and fill up your radiator water immediately. Driving with high temperature for extended durations can sieze the engine and on order to fix this, you'll need to open the engine and change the head gasket (as well as fix the radiator problem).

I've had this happen twice to me on older cars that I was driving at the time. One time I was lucky and I managed to get away with a new radiator, the other time it was a tow and engine fix.

Pak

[Pak-Ming Wan]

Mike, I hate to double post -- but I've just found this nifty decision tree which may help you diagnose that high temperature problem.

http://www.ifitjams.com/radiator.htm

Pak

[Stephen Gilbert]

Mike,

When you're concerned about overheating, the trick is to use your heater . The heater core is like a little auxiliary radiator, and that hot air blowing on you is heated by coolant that returns slightly cooler to the engine.

Steve

[Trevor Small]

I happen to have a 1960 Bentley, which is just a rebadged Rolls. Underneath it's like a truck, and inside it's like a lounge room. The only thng making it vaguely sensible is that somebody put a steering wheel in there.
It's great fun spinning the inside rear wheel when picking up the kids from school though.

[Paris]

My first car ever was a Volvo 544. They were designed, I think, for chasing reindeer above the Arctic Circle. The radiator was about the size of two postage stamps, and had a window blind apparatus to block it off completely.

The heater, on the other hand, was large and efficient, so to prevent the radiator boiling over you kept the heat on all summer.

That would probably be a deal-killer now, but at 17, it seemed perfectly reasonable.

[Dave]

Mike, you missed the chance to see the Elm Grove Memorial Day Parade! As residents of Elm Grove, we never miss it. It's like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Fun to watch and provides plenty of photo ops - this year's parade ran well over an hour!

[Andrew Burday]

I like Bill Mitchell's story. Reminds me that once upon a time, Leica was a bulletproof, practical little tool and not the crazy luxury item it has become. Also want to add my voice to those saying, get your Miata's cooling system checked (assuming the coolant level is ok, which you can easily check yourself). Clogged radiator, busted thermostat... also possible is a dying water pump, which I don't think has been mentioned yet. As others have said, it may be possible to limp home on a 95 degree day by running the heater full blast, but believe me, it's not fun -- speaking from experience on that one.

[Chris Sheppard]

If it makes you feel any better, I used to own a car in which the heat only worked when it was warm outside. I recall driving on a ski trip to Banff NP in the dead of a Prairie winter with no heat in the car. We kept the food in a cooler to keep it from freezing.

Chris

[greg smith]

35 years of import car repair says "Head Gasket repair on the horizon, if not here now........"
sorry,
best wishes

[Doug C]

A Miata coasting to the roadside? Would that be called "assuming the Lotus position"?
I'll feel better about my Elan next time it does that to me. In fact I feel better already, I did have to nurse it home with a slipping clutch just the week before last and then spend a few minutes underneath it to adjust the thing.

[Andre]

Take it from a fellow Miata owner, there's something wrong with your car. Even on a very hot day, unless you're making an extended climb up a long grade (which I don't think exist in Wisconsin) the car should be able to maintain normal engine temps with the A/C running. Go through the troubleshooting steps suggested by some of the previous commentors, or take it to a competent mechanic.

Still, it got you a good story so it was a fortuitous breakdown. BTW, what happened to the C-class?

[James B]

Mike,

that is a shocking way to treat Aunt Greta***. Apart from anything else, she was incredibly polite if manipulative, and the buyer sounds like a rude fool. I hope she breaks down on him.

That may be appropriate, as Greta was fairly "high maintenance". She came to stay in London once with my Grandfather just as the Second World War got into swing, and he and his young sister never got on. I think she was a bit of a refugee from Paris, where she had lived for nearly 20 years. He disapproved of her lifestyle, so would not let her use the front door (she must have been about 38 at the time, hardly a child). She used to let herself in and out of a window at the back of the house, and one night left it open, thus spilling light into the sky. The Air Raid people went wild, and issued my grandfather with a court summons for breaking the blackout. He was fined £5, which was probably a lot in 1940, and certainly being a parsimonious Scotsman, it would have been an outrage for him.

*** I don't know how to link back to the original post, but it included a couple of discussions about how she may have been the model for the Spirit of Ecstasy.

[B Grace]

"A Miata coasting to the roadside? Would that be called "assuming the Lotus position"?" - Doug C.

That's brilliant, better even than the old joke about the natural habitat for an MG being the back of a tow truck.

For those fascinated by auto repair lit:

http://www.miata.net/garage/CoolingSystemProblems.html

Flyin' Miata really has me interested in Miatas but I still think they're a little too reliable.

[PWL]

I'm glad someone remembered that Memorial Day is more than a day for hanging out, drinking beer, and barbequing. Sometime when I see us all cavorting on a day dedicated to our war dead, I think of Carl Sandberg's poem "Grass".

[David Littlejohn]

My wife and I have a 1996 Miata, which we refer to as the after dinner car. We never run the air conditioner because, when we do, a terrible shriek comes from beneath the bonnet. We sometimes talk about having this fixed, but then we just decide to always drive with the top down.

[Bill Mitchell]

Tell us, Mike: Did you check the anti-freeze level?

Q. Why do Englishmen drink warm beer?
A. Because they have Lucas refrigerators.

[Matthew]

Very amusing story, well told. Thank you.

[Dave I.]

I owned a 1990 Miata for a while and the biggest thing I had to worry about was the crankshaft shifting position. One of the well-known (at least to Miata owners) short crankshaft engines. I finally had the engine replaced and was surprised to find it running low on coolant. No puddles under the car after it sat at work during the day. I finally found the problem (which may not apply to your Miata, Mike). Two hoses attach to small metal tubes and feed into the engine coolant waterway. One of the metal tubes was leaking the coolant. I removed it, sanded the tube and cleaned out the opening into which it fit. Used some "cold solder" goop and it did the trick. If your Miata is leaking, but you don't see a puddle under the engine or radiator, you may as well check the heater bypass hoses.