I know, I spend way too much time on the internet—hey, somebody has to do it so you don't have to—but sometimes I run across something that really makes me laugh.
The story here is that an Ebay seller apparently found this old carte-de-visite showing a Nicholas Cage lookalike—and reached what is surely the only reasonable explanation, which is that the photo proves Nicholas Cage is a vampire.
I love that. "Personally, I believe it's him and that he is some sort of walking undead vampire, et cetera, who quickens/reinvents himself once every 75 years or so," wrote the seller. Logic inaction, as Jon Stewart might put it.
eonline.com reports that "the collector revealed that the antique memorial photo is a portrait of Lieutenant G. B. Smith, a Confederate prisoner, that was taken in 1864 at Johnson's Island prison camp in Ohio."
The auction has either ended or been taken down. The asking price for the proof of actor Cage's undeadness was $1 million. I secretly hope the end of the auction means that somebody paid it! That would be an impressive sucking of blood.
Mike
UPDATE: Turns out there is much more photographic interest to this story than meets the eye. If this is indeed Lt. G. B. Smith, a.k.a. Lt. Robert M. Smith, Confederate prisoner at Johnson's Island, then he might be the man who apparently set up a clandestine photo studio and darkroom while in prison! The fascinating story was featured on the PBS show "History Detectives" and can be found at timesnews.net, the website of the Kingsport, Tenn., Times-News. Thanks to D. C. Wells for this.
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Featured Comment by TBannor: "Yep. And Rob Lowe hasn't aged a bit during his career. Coincidence? I think not."
Featured Comment by Hugh Crawford: "Aren't vampires unphotographable? On that basis alone I have to doubt this."
Featured Comment by Eli Burakian: "Interestingly, my uncle produced a film in 1988 called 'Vampire's Kiss,' in which the main character, played by none other than Nicolas Cage, thought he was bitten by a vampire and consequently believed that he was turning into one. I'll ask my uncle whether the fact that he was actually a true vampire had anything to do with his getting the part."
He could also be a time traveller like in the "Twelve Monkeys."
Posted by: KeithB | Monday, 19 September 2011 at 06:28 PM
In similar news, The Daguerreian Society is auctioning off Anne Rice's Daguerreotype collection one by one. Of course with the word Vampire in the title.
I also seem to remember a Christian Bale tintype too but I can't find the link anymore.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110733821604&ssPageName=ADME:B:WNA:US:1123#ht_553wt_1126
Posted by: Chad Thompson | Monday, 19 September 2011 at 06:40 PM
The Q&A was gold, here's a gem:
Q: Nick Cage has aged terribly in the past 10 years, he's obviously not been drinking his daily amount of blood to stay young Aug-01-11
A: My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor "Nicolas Cage" will "die"... but in reality, the undead vampire "Nicolas Cage" will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version that dead American actor, whose name they can't recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether.
Posted by: Richard Box | Monday, 19 September 2011 at 07:06 PM
Obviously, "Nicolas Cage" is the Doctor.
Posted by: Richard Man | Monday, 19 September 2011 at 07:22 PM
I thought vampires didn't show up in photos, or is that just mirrors?
Posted by: Andre | Monday, 19 September 2011 at 08:07 PM
KeithB,
Or a self-contained twin like in "Adaptation."
Mike
Posted by: Mike Johnston | Monday, 19 September 2011 at 08:41 PM
Interesting. Common wisdom is that the prisoners in the civil war were treated in an awful way. And here prisoner of war Nicholas Cage lookalike sits nicely dressed on a cosy stool and smiles into the camera! Of course, it can be propaganda. I would like to know more about it.
Posted by: Anton Wilhelm Stolzing | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 02:44 AM
Well I dont believe everything the media says anyway, if it were true they would deny it anyway. The fact is he does look like nicolas cage, and further more since someone out there knows who this man is why is there no records online linking this to the name you all just made up. And is this an official prisoner uniform ?
Posted by: Londa Brooks | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 02:45 AM
> I thought vampires didn't show up in photos, or is that just mirrors?
Just mirrors. That means that you can't manually or auto-focus on them though, since mirrors are involved. You could see them with a Leica M, but not focus using the rangefinder mechanism. You would really be best of with an electronic viewfinder camera, although the exposure mechanism may also use a mirror, meaning that even if you could focus, you could not set the exposure correctly.
I recommend a 10x8 camera for making vampire portraits.
Posted by: Carsten W | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 04:03 AM
Jared Leto hasn't aged a year over 20, either. All celebrities are vampires. Watch TuPac and Biggie be hiding out somewhere in the Andes.
Posted by: Sorry | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 06:55 AM
Of course vampires can be photographed; I've seen Nicholas Cage in loads of films! : )
But composing the photo with any camera that has a mirror in the viewfinder optics is not so easy. Aren't we lucky now we have 'live' view. : o
Posted by: Roger Bradbury | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 07:45 AM
http://www.timesnews.net/blogger.php?id=10239&postid=7209
Londa, There's info here about this Lut. G.B Smith. All I did was google his name and got several links.
Posted by: Serenity | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 08:17 AM
If you can actually undead and not lived like a zombie, just suck other people's blood ... what would you do.
Obviously starting a religion and create an army would be logically, assume there is way to organise it (and you would not be killed by your follower or v killer.
I am not sure to be a star is a good strategy, Christopher Lee aside. Cage ... not a good idea.
But back to original question, what would you do if you are undead.
Or some other thought ... that you live the time Jesus was undead as well. What you said to know that there is a God and he would come after you and you are undead.
Time to practice my adult piano.
Posted by: Dennis Ng | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 08:32 AM
Ah, Vampire's Kiss, one of my favorite vampire movies. I wonder if anyone has started a website yet for old photo star look-alikes. Sounds like a good use of various public photo archives for someone with too much time.
Posted by: John Krumm | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 10:24 AM
Well, if he's not a vampire, the great film "Ravenous" comes to mind... an outpost of Civil War officers learn that you can live forever and become really powerful via the wonders of cannibalism. Maybe that's how he did it.
Posted by: Eric Ford | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 11:14 AM
In case you hadn't found it already, here is more to the photography aspect of this story:
http://www.timesnews.net/blogger.php?id=10239&postid=7209
These days, I suppose the prisoner of war would steal a laptop from the prison hospital and set up a lightroom.
Posted by: D.C. Wells | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 12:17 PM
The picture is obviously a fake. Looks like he used the old photobooth program on his ipad.
Posted by: Nick Cage | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 12:19 PM
Oh, I just noticed you spelled his name Nicholas but it is really spelled Nicolas.
Actually his name was Nicolas Kim Coppola until he changed it in an attempt to hid his relationship to his uncle Francis Ford "Godfather" Coppola. The whole "Nicolas Cage is a vampire" thing is undoubtedly the result of his brief stint as the son-in-law of Elvis "the King of the un-dead" Presley. Fortunately for Cage it left him somewhat vampire-ish rather than turning him into an almost zombie like his immediate predecessor Michael Jackson.
The Coppola / Presley vast conspiracy to take over the world is hidden in plain site by casting Cage in a series of critically acclaimed* movies involving vast supernatural conspiracies in order to confuse the public into thinking it's all a movie.
*Ok, I'm just making the critically acclaimed part up. In reality his cousins Jason Schwartzman and Sophia Copolla are spearheading the highbrow part of the conspiracy.
Posted by: hugh crawford | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 12:44 PM
I am curious what the expertise on photo editing says. How could it be spotted if this is a fake or not? Pixel structure? Shift in sharpness? Etc.
Posted by: E Petersson | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 01:53 PM
Then who the Hell is Dick Clark?!?
Posted by: Jason | Tuesday, 20 September 2011 at 08:30 PM
it doesn't have to be a vampire to have a century age, in facts. i just agree the nearly impossible statement about being a time traveller.
Posted by: Gaptek Update | Wednesday, 21 September 2011 at 08:47 AM
Modern mirrors use aluminum, rather than silver, don't they? So vampires might show up in them (or maybe not; I seem to recall they don't reflect in water, either, which makes it not just a "silver" thing).
I kind of like attributing it to "silver", a "noble" metal, refusing to reflect the evil vampires. This would suggest that film wouldn't record them -- but digital sensors would.
(There are a bunch of vampire myths around the world, which don't all agree on the details, and I believe a lot of B movies just made things up to be convenient.)
Posted by: David Dyer-Bennet | Wednesday, 21 September 2011 at 09:40 AM
I knew it! The guy looked kinda pale to me.
Posted by: sandy najera | Wednesday, 21 September 2011 at 03:21 PM
If you needed more proof...
http://www.suddentom.com/Nic%20Cage.jpg
-Hunter Jon
Posted by: Jon Smith | Saturday, 24 September 2011 at 11:53 PM
I would think they put out their the whole idea of just what a vampire is etc... So that we would never recognize one when we see them...also I would say they have evolved like the rest of the world...i bet they feed off of energy more then anything now a days!
I bet it also MYTH that they cant see their reflection...but us stupid humans believe were not among vampires bc everyone reflects...
"Somewhere over the rainbow" they put on a show, for you never to know, so they could continue to grow...
Posted by: Heather Slade | Saturday, 01 October 2011 at 09:08 AM