The Answer to 'That' Question

Sometimes it's worthwhile to have a stock answer prepared and ready for those annoying questions life sometimes presents you with. For example, my house is full of books. Anyone with a house full of books has been asked the inevitable question: "Have you read all of these?" The real answer, of course, is no, because half the appeal of books is promise. But the question is annoying anyway.

My friend the poet Jim Schley suggested the best answer, and I believe he got it from somebody else (I'll have to ask). What you say is, "...And so many more." I adopted that right away.

So anyway, when somebody says, "That's a good picture. You must have a really nice camera," what I'm going to say is, "I do. And I know how to use it, too."

It's good to be prepared.

Mike

Send this post to a friend

Please help support TOP by patronizing our sponsors B&H Photo and Amazon

Note: Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site. More...
Original contents copyright 2011 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.

Featured Comment by Julie: "I'm sure you've heard the famous story about Heifetz. After a concert when he was told his violin sounded great he held it to his ear and said, 'Funny, I don't hear anything.'"

Comments

[Steven ralser]

I think you should say no, but I know how to use it.

[Roger Bradbury]

@ Mike: "Have you read all of these?"

Perhaps this is said by those who, if asked if they wanted a book for christmas would reply, "No thanks, I've already got one"

[Jack]

You should say the camera doesn't matter, I know how to take photographs, but I would have been even better if I had practiced in the pre season.

[Mike Johnston]

Jack,
Ha!

(Inside football joke. The Packers didn't practice in the off-season. Because of the lock-out and potential strike, official practices weren't held until the labor agreement was finalized, but many teams players' got together to practice anyway. The Packers didn't, mainly because so few Packers players live anywhere near Green Bay. So, since the Packers thrashed the Saints on Thursday, the joke has been that they'd have been even better if they'd practiced.)

Mike

[Ivan J. Eberle]

"Oh, it's a technically competent camera, alright-- but I have to say it would be a whole lot nicer camera if it wasn't constantly threatening to sue me over the copyright."

[Bill Rogers]

I guess that's more polite than the snarky answer I've been known to give: "Yore camera shore takes good pitchers." "Yes, and all by itself, too. All I have to do is turn it on and set it on a flat surface."

[Kenneth Tanaka]

"What the Duck" dealt with this issue a few years ago.

[Ivan Strahan]

When someone says to me, 'You must have a good camera', I usually reply, 'I can't believe your mouth said that'.

[David Dyer-Bennet]

It's funny when people ask that in the living room downstairs. Because there are only three bookcases there; just the display books (signed copies by friends, very special editions) and oversized and some cookbooks.

The big collection is upstairs.

[Fred Mueller]

"Have you read all of these?"

The best answer I've ever heard to this question is "of course not, what use would they be to me if I've read them all"

And it's true, I've got lots of books that have not been read cover to cover, yet I often get interested in a topic or issue that I know is addressed in one of my books and I reach for it. How nice is it to approach your own bookshelf to find something of interest that you haven't already read?

[ctein]

Dear Mike,

I used to be able to answer, "Have you read all of these?" with "Yes."

Now the six largest bookcases in the living room (there are nineteen) are filled with books I haven't read.

So my current answer is, "Oh no, I haven't read most of these..."

(beat while they look at how many books I have there)

"... all the ones I've read are in the library room. There's a LOT of books in there."

'sTrue.

(and timing is...

everything)

As for the camera question, I have had someone (who should know better) say to me, "Wow, you must have a really good printer."

I just smiled ever so slightly smugly (yes, it's practiced) and said, "No, I -AM- a really good printer."

Rimshot.

pax / Ctein*

*(Why no, I've never been one to hide my light under a bushel. The basket'd catch fire!) **

**((hey, this is as good as the jokes get on a Saterday morning. sheesh, tough room))

[David Zivic]

When people ask me if I've read all of those books I respond: "Those are the ones I've written". Which solicits a good laugh. Nobody has ever said to me "That's a really good picture", I've always imagined that feels really good.

[David Bostedo]

"...the Packers thrashed the Saints on Thursday..."
Well thrashed might be a bit strong ;)

And I, for one, feel bad that I have books that I haven' read that I want to read. A few that I have that I've started and ended up putting down don't really bother me so much - at least I gave them a try.

[Mark Sampson]

visitor: "Have you lived in Vermont all your life?"
local: "Not yet."

[hugh crawford]

"yeah but they don't make film for it any more"

[Mike Johnston]

"I guess that's more polite than the snarky answer I've been known to give: "Yore camera shore takes good pitchers." "Yes, and all by itself, too. All I have to do is turn it on and set it on a flat surface.""

Bill,
Another friend wrote privately to tell me his usual retort: "That's a nice compliment. You must have a good mouth." He did say he lost a customer once when he said that, though. [g]

Mike

[Dean Johnston]

Hello.

On (rare) occasion I have been told, something to the effect of, "Your camera takes good photos." My reply is usually, "Depends on who's holding it."

Dean

[Sandy Rothberg]

The statement I hate the most, "boy you must have a really good camera." Over dinner recently, when the conversation turned to photography and my pictures particularly, the hostess said "oh he has a wonderful camera." As I left that evening I said "thank you for the wonderful dinner, I think you must have a really good stove" We'll see if I am invited back.

[Jeff]

Reminds me of the "Comeback" episode on Seinfeld...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Comeback_(Seinfeld)

George, unprepared the first time, flies out of town to deliver his retort, then plans to do so again at the end of the show after that attempt fails.

[Nerdie McSweatervest]

Arnold Newman is alleged to have said, when asked about his gear, "Nobody ever asked Hemingway what kind of typewriter he used."

[Tim]

In answer to the question, "What a lot of books you have, have you read them all?", the best answer I've seen was from Umberto Eco:

"No, these are the ones I have to read by the end of the month. I keep the others in my office"

[Yvan Sirois]

I viisited my brother at work last month and i had my Canon 7D with me,quite a few people made comments on my camera ,it seems people recognize a serious one.
My brother later told me his coworkers still talk about my visit but they mostly remember the camera.

As for the books and pictures comments i'll try and remember these answers.

[RobG]

I usually just tell them that it doesn't do a damn thing unless I set it up, turn it on and press the button...

but then, I'm a grumpy, not-as-old-as-some-others-we-could-name-but-won't curmudgeon.

[Geoff Wittig]

I've fielded the "have you really read all these books?" question many times, seeing as how our home is groaning under the weight of thousands of volumes.

I answer honestly: "At least parts of most of them, and all of some".

[JMR]

These answers are harsh. After all, if we were not acquainted with photography, we would probably make similar remarks. This is a more cultural and automatic reaction than anything else. I get this all the time, but I just shrug and nod, "Yes I do have a very good camera." I doubt most people believe it is just the camera that takes good pictures.

[Karel Kravik]

The books that you've read are much less valuable than the ones you haven't, at least according to the story about Umberto Eco's Antilibrary: http://benatlas.com/2010/05/umberto-eco-antilibrary/

[Neal Thorley]

"Which camera is the best?"

(I get asked a lot)

Answer with a question.

"Best for what?"

actually applies to everything, cars, computers, coffee you name it.

[Loïc lacombe]

Haha, Karel, you were faster than me.
By the way, Umberto Eco's library is really incredible.
I also see unread books as a pile of culpability.