I'm an idiot. I've exited my back door how many times in the 11 years I've lived here? Yet somehow, yesterday, in a rush, I managed to slam my hand in the door. I wouldn't bother to mention this, except that a blogger losing several fingers is like a boxer breaking a rib or a smart guy getting conked on the head: I can no longer type.
So that explains why we might have a brief unscheduled sparse stretch here on TOP. At least until I can replace the bandage with a smaller, less bulky one. Seriously, I am an idiot.
Meanwhile, apropos this and my "Open Mike" post last Sunday about road layout, you really need to take seventeen seconds to watch this video to start your day. It made me feel a little better. Even if something bad happens to you today, hopefully it won't be something that will make you feel like a total idiot too.
It took me about fifteen minutes to type this post, so I hope you really, really enjoyed it.
Mike
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Original contents copyright 2011 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.
Featured [partial] Comment by Christian: "This was by far the best post on any blog in weeks! Keep up the good work, Mike. (hopefully enthusiasm will help the recovery)."
Featured Comment by Peter Aaslestad: "I'm guessing Bob Dylan sent one of his thugs to deal with your leaky boat."
Does this mean it is irksome to post our comments? If not, or even if so, get well soon Mike.
Posted by: patrick | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 08:23 AM
I live in Ireland, where traffic rules are seen more as a recommendation than law.
And who can blame our drivers? Whereas in most countries with roundabouts, the rules of the road leave little room for doubt, over here there is some confusion. The legal way to negotiate the roundabout ahead of you depends entirely on the road markings that the road crew decided they would paint on the particular day of the week they were working there.
In some instances, they would have finished for the day before actually finishing the painting. Or worse, they would come back the next day to trace a completely new set of lines without erasing their previous day's work.
The government recently ran an ad campaign explaining how roundabouts should be traversed. The commercial ended with the warning that the information given did not apply to all roundabouts.
In such circumstances, driving straight over a roundabout seems to be a very reasonable approach.
R
Posted by: Roger Overall | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 08:36 AM
This was by far the best post on any blog in weeks! Keep up the good work, Mike. (hopefully enthusiasm will help the recovery)
I am REALLY sorry to hear about your hand. It is a fantastic video clip. Thanks for posting through the pain!
Posted by: Christian | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 08:45 AM
Like Ctein has been known to say; no one cares how much work went into it if it isn't any good :)
Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Nikhil Ramkarran | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 08:46 AM
Might be a good time to seriously try to get voice recognition software to work.
Posted by: Bob | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 08:54 AM
Mike,
Maybe you should look into "Dragon Speak" software. It converts speech to computer typing text and seems well regarded.
Disclaimer: I've never bought it or used it, but have heard of it spoken of highly by those that should have an informed opinion.
Severian
Posted by: Severian | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 09:01 AM
Sorry to hear about the accident. Hope your fingers feel better soon. TOP in the morning is a key to starting good day in my little part of the world.
Posted by: Alex Vesey | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 09:03 AM
No photography either? Here's wishing you a speedy recovery.
Posted by: Dave Stewart | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 09:18 AM
Hope you recover fast - I can well remember the pain when I did the same thing with a car door.
In the meantime you might try some subtle German humour: http://blackandwhiteandcolours.blogspot.com/2011/09/we-have-our-own-way-of-doing-things.html
Posted by: Markus | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 09:25 AM
@Nikhil Or as Ctein likes to say*:
MacSpeech in training. Pardon the wordsalad!
I'm sure some choice words were used on that door...
Pak
*(I can't remember exactly what he puts on his signature, so here's the cavaet...)
Posted by: Pak-Ming Wan | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 09:37 AM
Welcome to the club Mike. On Tuesday I joined KA (klutz anonymous) while hiking and sprained my right ankle. At least I can still type. I'll send some 'healing vibes' to your fingers. A dose of ibuprofen would probably help too.
Posted by: Jim Bullard | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 09:41 AM
Well that's why there's Dragon NaturallySpeaking (dumbest name...):
http://bit.ly/p6ac4v
It's pretty good actually but I think it's a bit expensive. Either way, check it out!
Posted by: Peter Buzzrain | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 10:19 AM
After a three weeks observing (many times through tightly closed eye lids) the antics of south Indian (Chennai, Tuticorin, Nagercoil) drivers, I'm convinced that no other place could possibly have more chaotic driving habits.
The the only rule seemingly adhered to is "do no harm" (i.e., try not to hit anyone or anything). Beyond that, all bets are off.
Posted by: Jack | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 10:27 AM
OUCH. On the hand (get well soon!) and also on the video. Didn't they know this technique only works with those painted mini-roundabouts?
Posted by: Paul Glover | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 10:57 AM
Paul,
This one's pretty funny too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fgoRNdmhtg&NR=1
Mike
Posted by: Mike Johnston | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 11:04 AM
Right hand or left hand ?
Oh and there is a reason that traffic circles work better with something to run into in the center
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fgoRNdmhtg&NR=1
and maybe there is a reader in Berkeley California who can explain the right turn only / tank trap intersections
Posted by: hugh crawford | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 11:51 AM
It takes me more than 15 minutes to type something of that length when all my fingers and thumbs are fit and healthy!
I still remember shutting my fingers in the heavy, wood framed plate glass door of the local supermarket as a child, and I wept as I sucked my fingers on the way home. That was about 1967.
Posted by: Roger Bradbury | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 12:15 PM
I always thought dasher would be great to use if I ever couldn't type. Luckily I've never had that chance, but you do...
Posted by: Tim | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 01:32 PM
Hopefully comment approval only takes a few mouse clicks. Here's to speedy recovery. If your town has a Chinatown, go to one of the shops and ask for "Dit Da Jow." It's a very liquid topical treatment. Kung Fu people swear by them. Just generally rub some on the affected area a few times a day. Won't feel like you did anything, but trust me, it works.
re: Rotary / Roundabout / Traffic Circle, NPR just had a piece yesterday on that we will be seeing a lot more of them in this country since they save people from idling at intersections (and thus wasting gas and contributing to, um, whatever term they use for GLOBAL WARMING these days). Since we spent a dozen years in Massachusetts, we know rotaries but definitely we had seen our shares of near misses and crashes.
The best story though is that there was a massive mother-of-all rotary in Cambridge and Arlington intersection where it was eventually replaced (due to too many crashes) by a set of traffic signals. You'll have to wait forever at the intersection, but at least you will not likely to die. Imagine the fun during the snow times...
http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=42.397728,-71.14171&spn=0.003776,0.006115&t=h&z=18
Posted by: Richard Man | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 01:53 PM
Obviously you're on the other side of the generation gap. Any male born after 1985 has learned the art of typing with one hand :)
Posted by: Jason | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 02:04 PM
Really, really enjoyed this post--loved the traffic circle video. Hope your hand heals fast. When it comes to klutzy moves, just remember you are not alone!
M.
Posted by: M | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 02:58 PM
Last week I did something very stupid which I'm still too ashamed of to describe in detail. It was (through sheer luck) less painful than Mike's door incident, but looks like being considerably more expensive. It involved a motor vehicle, and the best thing was that nobody else was hurt. What I sometimes call a "valuable learning experience".
A few years ago, I tripped over my back door step and stubbed my toe. That took about 6 months before I fully recovered. I hope your fingers recover a lot more quickly, Mike.
Posted by: Alex Monro | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 04:24 PM
Sorry to hear that Mike, Hope your knuckle joints are ok
I was annoyed I fell over in a gorse bush and have to get prickles out until I read this.
Get well soon. phil
Posted by: phil | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 05:02 PM
Wishing you a speedy recovery Mike, and many thanks for persevering to keep us all so informed and amused.
Posted by: Walter Glover | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 05:11 PM
No, Mike, I did not enjoy it. Other people's misfortunes are not on my preferred list of entertainment.
However, one small bit of advice for you. Remember the discomfort for as long as it takes to occupy that part of your brain that will trigger a sufficiently abrupt response if it senses a repeat performance, BEFORE it happens.
And as a regular visitor to your informative site, please recover soon.
Posted by: Jim Roelofs | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 06:06 PM
Condolences; I've damaged myself multiple times in much more creative ways, and your accident doesn't come anywhere near the level required for idiocy.
With 28 years of emergency room experience, I can relate countless episodes of genuine idiocy. My favorite is still the avid hunter who came in with a nasty looking but relatively harmless self-inflicted birdshot wound incurred while turkey hunting. As I worked him up for his trip to the operating room I just had to ask, "How do you accidentally shoot yourself in the abdomen with a shotgun?".
"As God is my witness, Doc, I could have sworn there were only 3 shells in the gun." Yep. He shot a turkey three times, only to find it still thrashing on the ground. So he took his shotgun by the barrel and clubbed the bird and...Bang! Turns out there were 4 shells in the thing.
Now *that* is idiocy; almost raised to the level of art.
Posted by: Geoff Wittig | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 07:53 PM
Mike, ouch. I've done that sort of thing plenty and I'm not stupid; neither are you. Yes, it is frustrating, though. Go easy on yourself. You do good stuff.
Regards,
Rod S.
Posted by: Rod S. | Thursday, 29 September 2011 at 11:39 PM