Congratulations to the Graduates!

Yr. Hmbl. Ed.'s niece Christy. Employers, take note!

I have to admit I'm not big on ceremonies. They mostly bore me, and I must not be very susceptible to the sense of sanctification they bring to life's mileposts for many.

Yesterday, however, my son Zander graduated from high school. Not with particular distinction, I have to admit—he's not naturally a scholar, even though he's bright, even wise, in many ways.

Still, the event was emotional for me. As regular readers might already know, eighteen and a half years ago I brought Zander home for the first time when he was a mere five days old. A tiny, scrunch-faced, wizened little neonate who slept most of the time and cried a lot the rest of the time. Six days earlier, I'd had no idea I was about to become a father—no inkling at all that his mother was pregnant. I learned I'd be getting custody at midnight the night before, and I'd had exactly nine hours—from midnight to nine o'clock in the morning, specifically—to prepare for his arrival. I brought him home in a carseat that I had begged off an Emergency Room nurse at four in the morning, and the supplies I'd hurriedly purchased the night before were sitting in two grocery sacks in the middle of the living room floor. I had never fed a baby, never burped a baby—never even really held a baby longer than a few seconds—and I had never changed a diaper.

All that changed pretty quick. It has been an adventure, brother.

And I remember thinking, in those difficult early days, that if I could just get him safely to his high school graduation, I would have done about the best I could. He'd be a legal adult; I would have done most of what I could do for him by then. He'd be launched—maybe not ideally, but adequately. (When you're a single father, "good enough" is about as good as you can do.) I turned 35 a few weeks after he was born, and I remember thinking, way back then, that I just needed to make it to 54. If I can last till he graduates, then he'll be all right.

Well, we made it, yesterday, Zander and I. And he is all right. He's a great guy—sensible, interesting, quick-witted, and a guy who knows his mind.

So anyway, here's a toast to all the graduates of the spring of 2011—high school (including my nephew, Zander's cousin, David, who is a scholar—he'll be attending the University of Texas at Dallas on a full scholarship), college (including David's big sister Christy, who graduated from Grinnell, which she thoroughly loved, a couple of weeks ago), and graduate school.

So why doesn't this post have an "OT" (off topic) in the title? Well, it's not entirely off topic. You see, the speaker at Christy's graduation, out in Iowa (I didn't attend—long drive from here, plus, see above re ceremonies) was none other than Henry Wilhelm of Wilhelm Imaging Research! Turns out Henry is Grinnell Class of '68.

Charlie, my brother, who took both these photos, said he didn't catch Henry looking up at the audience even once.

Oh, and by the way, there was one fascinating little tidbit in the program—seems Henry was a photographer for the '66 Grinnell Yearbook, "which," the program cryptically relates, "was banned by the college and not published till 1986." You don't have to have your reporter's instincts honed to a razor's edge to guess that there must be a story in there somewhere....

Mike
(Thanks to Charlie)

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Original contents copyright 2011 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.

Featured Comment by Timmy: "As read on many online posts on the topic, "The college president at the time, Glenn Leggett, had banned the 1966 yearbook co-edited by Wilhelm because of allegedly libelous photos that today barely seem scandalous. (There was a close-up of a student's hand, for instance, that held a smoldering joint.)" Here's the likely first source.

Mike replies: Good article, Timmy, thanks. I especially like the line, "He does for color images what fuel economy stickers do for automobiles or nutrition labels do for food products."

Featured Comment by Bron Janulis: "Mike, Congratulations to you, Zander and your family! I have some empathy for the sudden arrival of a small child, and considering your circumstances, well, good on you Mike, good on you!"

Mike replies: Bron, yes, you do know. You and your wife are an inspiration too.

Featured Comment by Karl Knize: "I have great empathy for your adventure, Mike, and know how difficult it's been. Your journey and mine have been different, but with some commonality. Sixteen years ago I was married and childless, happily living and working in a little storefront condo that my wife and I had begged, borrowed and stolen to get, when her sister finally careened over the edge from alcohol. We had a choice to make: let her kids go into the Missouri DCFS system, or step up.

"So one day I was childless and the next day I had three, ages five, eight, and 11. My first trip to Costco was a real eye-opener—as was leaving the condo the next week and renting a house. But I got lucky, worked hard, shot way, way more product than I ever intended, and made it to 1995, 10 years, when my wheels came off. The issues under the surface, the chilhood abuse that overtook my sister-in-law had caught up with my wife, and, as with my sister-in-law, the alcohol had taken over. About six months before my wife passed from cirrhosis we got a call from DCFS again, and took in the last of my sister-in-law's children, a baby at the time of the first rescue. And we had had two of our own along the way....

"Now, the oldest works as an administrative assistant to the library commissioner here in Chicago and graduated from DePaul. Also, she was recently the (successful) campaign manager for an alderman. The next oldest,who always struggled in school works in a program at the main library; the next manages a coffee shop and teaches art and dance; the next, the last arrival,works at DQ; and my 13 and 15 year olds, still at home, are A/B students,with my freshman son attending the No. 1 school in the state, North Side Prep.

"Life can certainly throw you some curve balls, can't it? But with me, beyond the crushing pain of losing my wife, watching her fade away, the role I've played and the responsibility have given my life substance that I never imagined. I'm not the photographer I set out to be, and never will get to that place, but I think that the role I've played, as you have, makes being a famous or even well known photographer seem kind of irrelevant.You stepped up to the bar, however imperfectly, and did the hard duty that really counts for something in the end.

"I didn't intend to recount all of this. But I suppose I did because I could see some of your journey in my own.

"Good job."

Mike replies: And to you, Karl, and to you...that is quite an amazing story! And an amazing journey you've been on.

Comments

[Paco]

¡¡Enhorabuena Mike !! I am from Spain and write the english language very bad (as you can see): You don't know me but I know you well enough. You must be a sensible and good guy. I am very pleasantly impressed with your human work named Zander. Congratulations. Paco from Spain.

[Darr Almeda]

Congratulations to Zander!

Mike, I have enjoyed your stories over the years concerning parenting, photography and puppies. Living deep in my heart is the story of Zander's unannounced entrance and how you dealt with it. You too are a graduate today; "Congratulations Mike." Some fathers may not of had the courage.

[ctein]

Dear Mike,

Congrats to both you and Zander. 'Course, by now you've long realized that legal adulthood and high school graduation do NOT unchain you from your kid. I am suspecting you're not unhappy about that.

Regarding Grinnell, it's an *excellent* and surprisingly-little-known school. I know several graduates, besides Henry. My oft-referenced good friend, Howard Davidson (most recently mentioned in the "Vexed by fb+f" comments) is a Grinnell graduate of the same vintage as Henry.

And he has a copy of the late-published 1966 yearbook. As is so often the case with censorship, it is now immensely more famous and wide-spread than it would have been if the admin had simply let it be published.

pax / Ctein

[David Nicol]

Congratulations to both you and Zander!

[Timmy]

As read on many online posts on the topic, "The college president at the time, Glenn Leggett, had banned the 1966 yearbook co-edited by Wilhelm because of allegedly libelous photos that today barely seem scandalous. (There was a close-up of a student's hand, for instance, that held a smoldering joint.)"

The likely first source is http://tinyurl.com/5ua66en

[John Camp]

Grinnell...haven't heard that name for a while. In about 1965 or '66, I hitchhiked to Grinnell from Iowa City with a friend, to see Dizzy Gillespie; on the way back, caught a ride with a guy so drunk, who scared me so badly, that I mostly forgot about Dizzy until, uh, now.

[Bron Janulis]

Mike,

Congratulations to you, Zander and your family!

I have some empathy for the sudden arrival of a small child, and considering your circumstances, well, good on you Mike, good on you!

Bron

[ben ng]

Congatulations Mike and Zander!
You have a great web-presence here Mike because you bring humanity to photography, and not the other way 'round.

[David Brookes]

Congratulations to you, Mike, on getting your son to this milestone - you have a great deal to be proud of!

[Alex Vesey]

Well done to you both. Single-parenting is hard for both the parent and the child. May you both find continuing success.

Alex

[Dennis Mook]

Mike, Zander is truly a lucky man. That being said, you will never stop worrying about him, hoping for all goodness to come to him and even continuing to teach him without him even realizing it. As my son is now 28 and has truly started to understand how the world works, we have become closer than ever. I wish the same for you and Zander.

[Bob Dales]

Congratulations to Zander and to his Dad.

bd

[Tim McGowan]

Mike, you are one stand up guy.When it comes to credit, you deserve truck loads.I have 60 years of perspective and being a single parent has to be one of the most difficult jobs there is.In the long run Zander,I'm sure, has & will benifit from the example you set in how you have chosen to be his Dad.

[Aaron]

A while back, reading the archives, you mentioned telling the story of Zander's birth in a book you shopped to Oprah. Is that project something you completed and could share? on the back burner?

[max]

Wow. You're so much more than just a photographer, man. Congratulations on getting there and on having such a clear view of the road travelled.

[Bron Janulis]

Mike,

My wife, the Museum Directer, is away 3-4 weeks a year, and I've always found single parenthood daunting, especially feeding the varmints. Daddy glop for seven nights sickens even me.

So, knowing that you've done this for the last 17-18 years, 24-7, is truly inspirational. I've had a partner, and hiring somebody to help clean really helps. Longevity, maybe, 35 years now, with a kid underfoot, but you are the inspiration!

Good on you!

Bron

[Rob Spring]

Mike,

I've followed the Mike and Zander story for 18 years. I admired you then as you accepted the responsibility of this new born and I congratulate you now for doing what it took to arrive at this momentous day.

Rob Spring

[JonA]

Congrats to you and Zander, Mike! There has to be a book in your life with Zander but you both have to be willing to have your private lives exposed. I wouldn't want that and I have a really dull life! Best of luck to you and Zander on each of your new beginnings!

[Mark Morris]

Mike,
Congratulations to you and Zander. It was obvious the way you wrote in the past that there was not a mother around. But I never knew the details.
You are a courageous man. I never had the desire or the courage to have kids.
My hat is off to you and I wish you the best regards. Good luck to your son also.

[Steve Jacob]

Mike, what can I say? Good job! Congratulations to Zander and niece.

[Mike Johnston]

"As my son is now 28 and has truly started to understand how the world works, we have become closer than ever. I wish the same for you and Zander."

Dennis,
From your lips to god's ear, as the old saying goes!

Mike

[Josh Hawkins]

Congrats Zander...and Mike!

You've always been a great example of just what a person can pull off under tough circumstances. Zander has always been an excellent (though I'm sure imperfect) example of a "good kid". You deserve some, and probably a lot, of credit for that. Well done.

And secondly, Zander graduated high school?! Crap...I'm old.

[Ernest Zarate]

Congratulations, Mike, to you and your son! On my second family, I and many others can attest to the joys, the challenges, the wonder and frustrations that make parenting the most rewarding experience to be had. That you did this on your own is testament to your patience and good humor needed to survive.

[Ben]

I, too, am not much on ceremony, but congratulations. As a parent of five months, with 18 years ahead of me, and not being alone in the matter, moments like this make me wonder at the passage of time, and at all we do in response to such a variety of ever-shifting circumstances that is life.

Enjoy your moment and be proud–clearly you've earned it!

[Steve Rosenblum]

As we like to say in these parts.... Mazel Tov!! =)

[Rick Petersen]

It seems a short time ago I read your monthly column in Black and White Magazine and the touching story of your decision to raise your son Zander. Now here he is grown and graduated. It happens so fast. Congratulations to both of you.

[Mike Johnston]

"And secondly, Zander graduated high school?! Crap...I'm old."

Josh,
No you aren't. But you will feel that way when your baby graduates from high school!

Mike

(P.S. Josh was the manager of the old Oak Park Camera when Zander used to run around behind the counters like he owned the place, age 2-5.)

[Animesh Ray]

Congratulations to both!

[Sean]

Man that's a great story, I tip my hat to you.

My Ma was 35 when she had me, she passed at 54. Even though she could have written a book on how not to do it (she got to see me drop out of school) I still miss the old girl.

She'd have been 74 today

[The Lazy Aussie]

Wow. Keep thinking about you in that 9 hours midnight to nine o'clock in the morning with the bags of supplies. I'm assuming you didn't get much sleep that night. Or from my own experience for the next couple of years.
Wonderful story.

[phil]

Congratulations.
Deep respect to any single parent; the ones I've known have always brought up better people than the newspapers would have you believe.

best phil

[Steven ralser]

Congratulations. We can relate to the short notice. When we adopted our son we got a phone call in the morning, and were told if all goes well you can take him home today. Fortunately we had friends who had, or bought, supplies for us (he was 3 days old; we didn't have anything, because we didn't know how old a child we would get). We had friends, who had 9 months to prepare, but were just as unprepared as us.

Steve

[Steve Rosenbach]

Mike,

Congratulations to you and Zander! Also to David and Christy.

Our kids just turned 29 and 25. Whenever I look at them, I'm looking at my greatest accomplishments. Kudos for you for being a good Dad, just about the most important job in the world.

[Ben Rosengart]

Mazel tov to the both of you. I hope you'll keep giving us periodic Zander updates. I wish him lots of luck in the next phase of his endeavors, whatever that might be.

[Michael Ibach]

Holy Heck, Mike! I didn't know the story of Zander. As a new father myself, a new baby is hard enough with 9 MONTHS OF PREPARATIONS, let alone less than 9 hours! Whatever awards the Brotherhood Of Fathers confers, you deserve the highest!

- Mike I.

[David Elesh]

Much congratulations! As noted by someone else, you never stop being a parent although the meaning changes. As my 30-year-old son marries next month, I am happy to recall that I gained the 100 IQ points back when he turned 21 that I lost when he was 11. It is an infinitely richer time now, although I would not change any of my less intelligent years either.

[Gary]

Heartfelt congratulations. It's a bonus for everyone when the good guys celebrate!

[Andrea B.]

Congratulations to Zander for making it through the minefield of High School - never easy, but considerably more complex these days.

Mike, your adventure with Zander has only just begun. Someday there will be (gasp !!) grandchildren. Best Wishes to you for the next leg of your fatherhood journey.

BTW, cool name, "Zander".

[Dave Jenkins]

Mike, we have disagreed sometimes in the past, but I want to tell you that I have the utmost respect for the way you took responsibility for the care of your newborn son and brought him up.

My first wife passed away when our son was 22 months old. I remarried some years later, but in the interim had sole responsibility for his care. My son will be 50 years old in a few days. He is a fine man with a lovely family.

I know Zander has already been a blessing to you, and I believe he will be even more so as the years pass.

[erlik]

Oooops! How did I miss a whole post? Belated congratulations for a job well done. Yep, a job. It's no mean thing you did.

[kirk]

Fatherhood is the hardest and most rewarding job I've ever had. Congratulations on Zander's success. Ben is three years away from graduating. I can only imagine the bitterweet emotional cocktail I'll have. Congratulations to YOU.

[Mike Johnston]

Mike I.,
Congratulations to you and your wife...the expression I used to like (and repeat frequently) when Zander was a baby was, "There's a reason why nature intended the creature called 'parent' to have two heads and four hands."

Mike

[Richard Skoonberg]

Congratulations, Zander, and to you, too, Mike!

[Ian Lim]

Mike,

A hearty congratulations to both you and Zander, a job well done in raising a child as a single parent and in graduating high school. As a father of a 4 month old I can only imagine how hard it was to do that alone. Congratulations to David too. As an alum of the University of Texas at Dallas (Go Comets) - welcome to Dallas (Mavericks Rock). He will be moving to Dallas at a high point (now we just need to do something about the Cowboys).

[Doug Brewer]

Mike,

Congrats to both you and Zander. I wasn't aware, I don't think, of the circumstances of his arrival in your life, but job well done on getting the two of you to now.

On a related note, around Thanksgiving of 2008, just days after my 50th birthday, we were presented with a bundle of poop, drool, and joy, in the form of a 21-month-old grand niece who had spent most of her short life bouncing from bad to worse environments.

The original plan was a temporary stay, but life intruded and she has been with us straight through, the second child we didn't know we wanted. It was an adjustment, to be sure; our son was long out of diapers and Goodnight, Moon, and she's much faster than we are, but I can no longer imagine life without her.

On topic, she has helped me rediscover a love for photographs with people in them. She is a regular subject if you ever scroll through my photo blog on posterous, and her unaffected enthusiasm for life is precious to record.

To wit: http://dougbrewer.posterous.com/painting-contractor#

Again, congrats. You've done a good thing. But don't start thinking it's over.

[Doug Brewer]

oh, I forgot the other thing. I just officially (finally) graduated from college, earning a BA in General Studies from Eastern Kentucky University.

Another degree in Art is next and application to grad school is in the works.

[Mara]

It's a short while since I follow your (very interesting!) blog, so I never have read anything about Zander so far. Just want to say: I am very touched by this story. It is great what you did, what Karl did, what Doug did.

[Daniel Owen]

What a great story - I can't imagine how tough it must have been, especially in the early days. You must be very proud of your son (and of yourself for what you have achieved as a Father.)

I came across this Proverb earlier and thought of you and Zander:

"The father of a righteous child has great joy;
a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him."

[Ailsa]

I'm a bit late to this thread, but congratulations to you and to Zander. What a momentous achievement for both of you.

Your rapid entry into the world of fatherhood remains one of the stories I was most proud to publish while editor of Black & White Photography.

[Rod S.]

Mike, what an evocative day for you; a well-earned milestone. One to cherish. There must have been many shocks along the journey. Well done!

Although I really enjoyed my daughter's younger years, she's now 26 and I look back on those since she was 18 as the best. May your experience be likewise.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

[Mike Johnston]

"Your rapid entry into the world of fatherhood remains one of the stories I was most proud to publish while editor of Black & White Photography."

Ailsa,
Cool! Thanks. For the kind thought, and also for publishing my only portfolio.

I found the issue the other day and took another look at it, and I still like it, too. Of course they are "family pictures" for me, and everybody likes their own family pictures. :-)

Mike

P.S. While I'm in thanking mode, thanks to everyone for all the kind comments and good wishes, too. Right back at you all.

I give Zander himself a lot of credit. He was an easy kid at pretty much every stage of his childhood, even-tempered and adaptable. Getting along has had to go both ways. He's done his part too.

[Chris Hunt]

Hey, I went to UTD on a full scholarship (and studied Computer Science)! I met my wife there and we still live close to the university with our growing family. If David needs anything at all (info about the town if he's not from here, to borrow a spare film camera or ten, etc.), then he needs just to ask.

Congrats to all!

[DC Wells]

Sorry to be late in congratulating you, Zander and Christy. Her choice of college was excellent.
This Grinnell grad was there during the late sixties and remembers well Henry's "fight" with Glenn Leggett, with the typical result when an idealist runs into a realist. President Leggett was a genuinely nice man and demonstrated amazing patience with my generation, but he could not predict the future well enough to shrug his shoulders on this one. He took the advice of Grinnell's lawyers.
Also related to Grinnell photography in the same era was the Playboy demonstration. Several students disrobed during a presentation by Brice Draper, the Playboy rep on campus for a sexuality conference. They were protesting Playboy's objectification of women through its photography. Another student snapped a photo of the naked students, which if I recall correctly, was the key evidence that eventually led to their conviction by a reluctant Poweshiek County jury.
Like many of my Grinnell contemporaries, I bought my first good camera while at Grinnell (or rather while in Costa Rica and Panama on a Grinnell semester abroad). In the late 60s and early 70s Grinnell students shot thousands of rolls of mostly Tri-X, printed many, lost many, and so far as tell, took too little advantage of Henry's archival printing techniques even though many of us knew Henry's East Street Gallery next to campus quite well. I had stored hundreds of prints with my mother after college. That system was not archival. She lost them all in a move.

[John Daw]

As someone who was there to witness Mike in the early days of his life with Zander, I can attest that he picked up the necessary skills quite quickly. (He really had no choice)

Congrats to Mike and Z-man! Patrick made it too! I really need to dig out those photos you did of Patrick way back then.

Take care and good luck to both of you!

[Mike Johnston]

Thanks John! Too bad that apartment was so noisy--the courtyard was nice and the social life with other residents was great. Still wish I lived closer to you and Jane and/or saw you more often.

All best to you too--and congratulations to Patrick.

Mike