I am not a big basketball fan. I do not know the rules. I do not understand what a "loose ball foul" is, for instance, and I do not think I ever will. (You don't need to try to explain it to me; I cannot retain the information, so it is like explaining something to a wall.)
I appreciated the Celtics missing all those layups throughout the finals. I also am good at missing layups, so I identify with them when they do that. It's like how I appreciate Phil Mickelson missing two- and three-foot putts: I can miss two- or three-foot putts, too, so, in those instances, I feel great solidarity with Phil. Oh sure, he is a bit better with his driver than I am (his drives tend to go fairly straight and very long, whereas my drives seem to be quite severely distance-limited, and home in like a smart bomb on areas where there are trees growing) and he is better with his irons than I am (you know what they say: if you are ever caught in a lightning storm out on the course, just hold up your one-iron, because even God cannot hit a one-iron), and he has a somewhat better short game. But when he misses a 24-inch putt, we are brothers, just two lefties who are bad at putting. I love watching Shaquille O'Neal shoot free-throws for the same reason. He can apparently make about two out of ten; I, also, can make two free-throws out of ten. That means we are basically the same, Shaq and I.
However, having stared, blinking, at the television screen for a number of hours recently, uncomprehending of many rules and missing subtleties left and right, it has penetrated to my comprehension that this fellow Kobe Bryant is quite considerably better at the game than all the other fellows are. He does not seem to be trying very hard, and he does not seem terribly excited to be doing what he does, but he does things about every 11.5 seconds which, on the face of it, it seems very implausible that human beings would be able to do.
He and I are not the same, Kobe Bryant. I'm just sayin'.
Mike
(Inset: photographer unknown)
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Original contents copyright 2010 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved.
You'd be hearing this (what I have to say) a lot.
If you are impressed by Kobe Bryant, you should watch Michael Jordan clips on YouTube.
Posted by: Manish | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 12:19 PM
Yes, Kobe is good at Basketball, but he probably doesn't even know what Bokeh is, and probably doesn't know to open up the lens and compose the shot to create an aesthetic SHOT. Well maybe he could, but could he do it while dribbling a basketball.....I'm just sayin'.
Posted by: David Zivic | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 12:29 PM
And we pay him tens of millions to entertain us... while we lay-off teachers and musicians...and photographers... all while Rome burns down around our collective fannies.
Posted by: cw | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 01:09 PM
Best off-topic post ever. This lightened up my morning considerably.
Posted by: Ben | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 01:12 PM
One attribute that makes Michael and Kobe special is their outstanding defensive play. Jordan won Defensive Player of the Year once, and that remains one of Bryant's goals, although both have won multiple honors for their defensive play. Playing both ends of the court is something that many modern day wannabes don't get.
And, to do both at the highest level in championship games is a whole other thing. Game 7 will either bring Kobe another step toward Michael...or not.
Posted by: Jeff | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 01:17 PM
Whenever I look at Elliott Erwitt´s pictures, I try to remind myself that when he reached 27 (my age now) he must have already had fired the shutter a million times more than I will for my entire life.
Which means you´re in fact BETTER than Shaq because he must have shot at least a million more free-throws during his teens than you will for your entire life and you´re right there with him getting two ouf ten right!
Posted by: Luiz Fernando | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 01:26 PM
"This lightened up my morning considerably."
Ben,
Good! That's all it's here for.
A light morning to you Sir,
Mike
Posted by: Mike Johnston | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 01:52 PM
Nice logic Mike. A little loose, but not in a foul sorta way.
Posted by: charlie | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 02:57 PM
I'm a Celtics fan and am in love with Kobe. Maybe he won't be as good as Jordan; doesn't matter. Jordan isn't around any more, and I'm thankful that I get to be around to watch Kobe do his stuff.
With that said; Kobe/Lakers are GOING DOWN tomorrow. Beat L.A., Let's Go Celtics, and all that jazz.
Posted by: RawheaD | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 03:12 PM
What's basketball?
Posted by: Ed Kirkpatrick | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 03:20 PM
Kobe is certainly at the top of his game. But, I have also watched Bird, Jordan and Johnson. Bird and Johnson especially had this quality where if they were dominating the team was usually winning because the entire team was playing better. Jordan learned to do this later, but was not as good at it.
Kobe can be other worldly, but often at the *expense* of his team. In the previous game in this series he put on an inhuman exhibition of scoring, yet at the end of it his team was further behind than at the start.
Posted by: psu | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 03:51 PM
Kobe Bryant sounds like a European shibari master to me.
Why don't you watch the World Cup, Mike? The USA are playing. Soccer.
Posted by: Eric | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 03:54 PM
When people talk about basketball, world cup soccer, etc. I always remember what my old swimming coach told me when I was quite young....he said, "All those other games are just for kids who CAN'T swim."
Can't ever imagine watching sports on TV as your precious life force ebbs away, bit by bit, with all those photographs yet to be taken...
Posted by: kirk tuck | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 04:28 PM
I am completely mystified by basketball. None of it makes any sense to me.
Posted by: Robert Roaldi | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 09:41 PM
You could be better than Shaq because you've never missed a free throw in the NBA.
Posted by: toto | Wednesday, 16 June 2010 at 10:46 PM
I'm not really a basketball fan, but I did watch the finals two years ago when it was also Celtics v Lakers. I used to think the game was just about scoring two and running back to play defense. Just reverse and repeat all game long. What I never realized is just how hard those players work for those measly two or three points. No matter how spectacular or mundane, no matter how easy or difficult, the scoring play is never worth very much and it takes a lot them over the course of the game to win. This realization gave me a new appreciation for the game.
Posted by: Jeffrey Lee | Thursday, 17 June 2010 at 01:42 AM
Celtics will win this Kobe or no Kobe.
Posted by: MJFerron | Thursday, 17 June 2010 at 03:00 AM
Kobe? Jordan? Shaq? Who are those guys?? Pau Gasol is the man...
From a Spaniard who can net a free-throw... out of a hundred :(
Posted by: oronet commander | Thursday, 17 June 2010 at 03:10 AM
If it was a better basket the ball would stay in and the game'd be over pretty quick. I too am just sayin'...
Posted by: David in Sydney | Thursday, 17 June 2010 at 06:54 AM
He's astonishing, but he's going down.
Watch Game 7 tonight & pay attention to Rajon Rondo; he's a free-wheeling improviser with a killer instinct & he will be back on form tonight, setting it up for Pierce, Allen & Garnett with speedy flair.
Posted by: jchristian | Thursday, 17 June 2010 at 11:06 AM
Professional basketball, to me, is so damn overhyped in the media that it nauseates me. Why? Because the teams keep hiring the tallest males available, all of whom easily jump a bit and all but toss the ball in the basket because the basket is so ridiculously low. Last week, an article in the Los Angeles Times reported that attendance at the Lakers' games is way down because of the recession and other factors. It suggested ways to improve its attendance and revenue, but it reported the team stating they won't raise the hight of the baskets "because the fans want to see tons of successful basketball drops through the nets". How foolish! What rubbish! What a boring game!
Posted by: Terry | Thursday, 17 June 2010 at 03:41 PM
Terry: The height of the basket is fixed. It's like saying baseball would be more exciting if the bases were just 50 feet apart. Or if the soccer goal was 70 feet wide.
Posted by: Jeff | Friday, 18 June 2010 at 12:03 AM