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Tuesday, 27 April 2010


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Hahaha! I completely understand! The house I grew up in had some monster junipers out front, and you could cut them back almost as far as the bottom picture.

However, I did say almost...

Any plans on a new shrubbery to replace it? Perhaps you could call the Knights of Ni!

Don't worry - it's a Juniper. It will be back!

"Any plans on a new shrubbery to replace it? Perhaps you could call the Knights of Ni!"

I have an ambition to grow rose bushes, which brings to mind a different knight, one Don Quixote, as I am always full of ambitious but totally unrealistic plans...given that I can barely keep a houseplant alive.

In the back, I gave up trying to control the ground ivy, and decided to cultivate it instead. Now I have a nice thriving bed of ground ivy. The little purple flowers are actually quite pretty.


And Vincent just wanted to trim a few ear hairs...

I doubt you were trying to make art at the time, Mike, but I like these photos, in an abstract kind of way. Maybe some of that Eggleston rubbed off on you.

I believe the official title is: "The Knights Who Say Ni!" (TM). The best strategy might be to become one (or open a local franchise--I'm not sure how it works, exactly), as then you could have your shrubbery delivered for free. I don't think you'd be limited to shrubbery, either, technically speaking.

IMO, there's something very Don Quixote like about photographers, and photography.

I know how it goes....

Hmmmm, that's looking untidy... Maybe if I trim a bit off here... ooops. Too much. OK, I'd better trim some off the other side to balance it up a bit. Better...but.... ah, that's it! No, wait. What's that big branch doing stuck out? OK, that dies, too. Errrm, that left a bit of a hole... better trim the rest back a bit...

....Oh heck. Where did the bush go??

That Juniper will grow back. In fact it should come back over twice as full. If your plan is to get rid of it you are going to have to go for the roots.

Hey Mike,

I also took down some monster Junipers ... and you should dig that one out ... turns out these don't go too deep with the roots, so it's quite doable.


I saw the title of the post in my RRS inbox, and I assumed you had written a political commentary. When I opened the message I was disappointed.

Some of my neighbours who are new arrivals to Canada have planted plastic gardens. Looks real weird in the winter.

I wonder what you'd have done to George's cherry tree :)

Finish the job properly with a chain and your new Mercedes!

I've dealt with The Juniper That Ate the Front Garden a few times at successive houses using a heavy chain and Toyota Landcruiser. Wrap the chain around the base and connect it using a D shackle to the vehicle hitchpoint. Select low range 4WD, second gear. Carefully take up the slack, and, finally, give it a decisive jerk. Quite satisfying, really.

Now where do you get the berries for the gin?

You weren't in the Marines at any point, were you, Mike?

"Just a flesh wound..."

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