OT: WTTW

Sorry about this morning's post. I was still a little traumatized by something that happened last night. (You have no idea how many babbling-brook/stream-of-consciousness vamps I write and don't post...I'll get done with one, sit back, and think, nah, I can't inflict that on people.)

Last night I had hopped into the car, late for an appointment, and the garage door was opening when it made a loud "SPROING!" sound and essentially disintegrated. The rollers came off their tracks, the cables jammed, and the appearance of the panels became the reason why the word "wopplejawed" was invented (it's sort of like "akimbo" only worse).

Zander called the garage-door repairman, Stu, who was here until well after 9 p.m. despite the fact that it was his wedding anniversary(!).

I need to try to remember every now and then that garage doors are expensive, and that they need maintenance. We use our garage door several times a day, and the wear-and-tear adds up. Assuming you live in a house and have a garage door, here's what, according to Stu, you should do: every year or so, look it over and tighten up all the many bolts and screws you can find. Use silicone spray lubricant on the metal hinges between the panels and on the chain and chain-rail. About every three years, call a garage-door repair outfit (find 'em on Angie's List) and have them come out and give your door a checkup. That still doesn't guarantee you won't experience a catastrophic failure, but it betters your odds. And it will cost you about fifty dollars, as opposed to, oh, let's say $790.80, which is what you might be charged if the garage repairman has to come, let's say, in the evening, after business hours, all the way from Milwaukee, and leaves his missus stewing at home about him being late for their anniversary dinner.

And by the way, if you live in a condo or an apartment with indoor parking, don't assume you'll never be the victim of a malfunctioning garage door. I used to live in a condo with a huge commercial overhead door on the garage, and one day the spring broke and the door jammed shut; it was ten hours before it could be fixed, my car was trapped inside, and I missed a job and lost a client. Best not to assume that routine maintenance is being performed on a communal door. As for me, you'd think I'd learn.

(I gave Stu a Chet Baker CD to give to his wife. Nobody can stay mad listening to Chet.)

Anyway, I'm not the least bit thrown by a broken garage door; it was that $790.80 that had me traumatized.

Mike

Featured Comment by Geoff Wittig: "True garage door follies:

"We live out in the boondocks at the end of a winding 250 yard driveway. We haul our trash to the road in the trunk of the car, seeing as how 250 yds. is a bit far to carry it on your shoulder. About 15 years ago I hit the door opener and backed out like usual, with the trunk so packed with trash it wasn't closed. Unfortunately I was about 10 milliseconds too fast; the raised trunk lid caught the lower edge of the rising garage door, with hideous consequences for both. It sounded like a beagle caught in the trash compactor. Total repair costs were about $1,500.

"About five years ago, my daughter hit the door opener button inside the garage and then hopped into the car. She unfortunately then absent-mindedly hit the remote button in the car to 'open' the door, which of course promptly began to close again. Which she failed to notice, so she backed into the door at high speed. Crushed two panels and the bumper of the car. That was also about $1,500, if I recall.

"Two years after that, my son did exactly the same thing. My wife and I were sitting in the kitchen over coffee; we looked at each other as we heard the garage door cycling down again (waaaaay too soon) and we both jumped up just in time to hear the 'crunch.' Sigh. Fortunately my son was slower than his sister; we were able to bend the kinked door panels back into semi-functional shape.

"The door screeches like a banshee every trip up and down since then. We're leaving it like that as a daily reminder to our youngest son, who still lives at home. We're hoping maybe the the unpleasant din will stick in his head if he's tempted to back into the door."

Comments

[James]

Annoyingly, it's a given that the garage door will fail one day, however well you look after it. The springs have a specified lifetime and sooner or later it will break. Just have to hope that it doesn't do too much damage when it happens. Perhaps even more annoying is the fact that it's difficult to get the parts to fix it yourself, even if you think you can deal with the stored energy in a safe fashion.

[Benjamin Marks]

"Wopplejawed" Hmm. Not sure that would pass the scrabble test. Definition pls?

Ben Marks

[John Krill]

You should have kept the Chet Baker CD. It appears you needed it.

[David Brookes]

You have garage door repairmen in the States? OMG, whatever next?

[Iñaki]

Have you ever played any instrument?
Have you ever played a string instrument?

It is something that tempers your temper, and prevents you from boiling up to the rest of life´s problems.

And today I saw the Chet Baker documentary by Bruce Weber. Conclussions:

1-Chet Baker was definitely the inspiration for the Looney Toons classic "romanticjazzsinger" figure.
2-Ran to get EBTG [everything but the girl], Walking Wounded preferably, and listen to the rendition of "almost blue" by Tracey Thorn.

[Iñaki]

PS.
After almost blue comes, obviously, Missing.

[Jeff]

I knew all about garage doors. It was "OT WTTW" I had to learn about. LOL, I think.

[John M.]

Chet Baker? Brilliant. I'm betting that your repairman's evening ended well.

[Carl Weese]

Well, I haven't had a garage for the 18 years I've lived in my present digs. Which lets me out of these awful door opener experiences. I might point out that my previous house featured a garage, but we had to open and close the doors ourselves. It was quite a simple operation, took almost no time--really no trouble at all. The old cars that lived there were protected from the elements.

I can't find any downside to this lack of a garage, much less an automatic opener, except that my truck, twelve years old with just under 230,000 on the clock, has a rusty back bumper. I guess that rust wouldn't be there if she'd been kept in a garage.

[JR]

"...it was his wedding anniversary(!)"
Understandable. At least he remembered before midnight:-)

[Mikal W. Grass]

Mike did keep the Chet Baker cd; he just gave the repairman a burned copy.

[Mike Johnston]

Mikal,
No, actually it was a sealed "20 Bit K2" copy of "It Could Happen to You."

Mike

[Chuck Holst]

I empathize, Mike. I really empathize. Last week my wife and I returned from an 8-day kayak camping trip in Voyageurs National Park. We had had a great time, but it was late as we neared home, and we were talking about parking the car in the garage, opening the windows (kayaking gear can get a little rank), and unpacking in the morning.

About 10:00 p.m. we pulled into the driveway, and I pressed the button of the remote. Nothing. My wife went through the service door to use the hard-wired button. Still nothing. I followed and soon spotted the broken spring. So we unpacked the car that night after all, and in the morning called a repairman. Fortunately, it was a fairly simple repair job that cost us less than $200, but still, it can be unsettling when something like that happens.

[Sherlock Holmes]

Mike:

It's nice to see the human side of the TOP once in awhile. Entertaining, even.

[Paul Mc Cann]

You people keep CARS in your garages ?

Whatever next.

There was a case high lighted some time back of new houses in the U.K. being advertised as "with garages". Problem was the "garages " were too small to accommodate even a Reliant Robin. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliant_Robin

Paul Mc Cann

[robert e]

The word may be "wopperjawed". But even if you made it up, or it's a regional variation, I think "wopplejawed" is an awesome word, as it seems to imply a more wobbly kind of askewness. Either way: nice!

[Daniel Owen]

I thought Garage doors that opened at the press of a button were the preserve of the rich and famous! I actually have to open my garage door manually - by hand, imagine that! And yes, it has so far lasted very well :-)

[Simon Griffee]

I don't have a car, but I'm stuck here in Bracciano today because a tractor bent two poles across the FR3 train line to Rome a couple of hours ago. Here's a picture:

http://simongriffee.com/notebook/fr3-bloccata

[Nicolas]

Phewwww...
The kind of things that make people remember it can be healthy, fun AND profitable to commute by cycle rather than car. ;~)

[Steve Smith]

About five years ago, my daughter hit the door opener button inside the garage and then hopped into the car. She unfortunately then absent-mindedly hit the remote button in the car to 'open' the door, which of course promptly began to close again.

Don't you Americans (I'm assuming) do anything with your hands?!!

Most of our garage doors have handles. Twist, pull, lift and the door is open - and you know it's open and isn't going to close all by itself.

[Mike Johnston]

Paul McCann,
Maybe that's what accounts for David Brookes' incredulity over the existence of garage door repairmen...where I live at least, garage doors are formidably large (my garage is a "two and a half car" and the door is easily 20 feet wide), made of steel, open from overhead like a window shade, and have motorized openers operated by remote control. The people who repaired my door are called Precision, and they're mainly sellers and installers of such doors. I suppose I know a few people locally who are competent to repair these things by themselves, but I suspect most people avail themselves of competent professional help when something goes wrong, like I did. It's a pretty specialized thing. At least I can say that it's not a tiny door that wouldn't admit a miniature three-wheeled car.

As far as that goes, don't forget what kind of cars we Americans tend to drive these days. I have a "small" car, which would be mid-sized in Europe, but most of my compatriots drive mini-vans and SUVs, some of which are truly enormous. It's a trend I deplore, personally, but it's undeniably the reality, for the time being anyway.

Steve Smith,
The house I grew up in--built in 1966, and we were the first owners--had a wooden overhead door, and we opened it by hand, but most house features here become standardized because we're always selling our houses on--Americans typically move house many times in a lifetime. A house without an automatic garage door would be considered deficient in that respect by most home purchasers. In fact, I went by the house I grew up in a few years ago, and the present owner happened to be arriving home, and it now has an automatic garage door opener too. They're not super-luxury items--it's just a little electric motor with a long bicycle chain on it that cranks the door up. They cost a few hundred dollars. More wasteful of electricity than anything, I suppose.

Geoff Wittig,
I think your entire family should get into the habit of BACKING into the garage when you put the car away! You all wouldn't run into the door so often if it were in front of you rather than behind.

Mike

P.S. For some reason I find that picture on Wikipedia of the racing Reliant Robins hilarious.

[Bernd]

Lucky me. Don't have a garage, which apparently saves me a lot of money :)

[hugh crawford]

"Robins are raced, as shown in the photograph on the right. During races several cars usually overturn. The driver can return the car onto its wheels unaided from inside the car by rocking it and pushing down on the track through the window."

Now that sounds like fun, I guess that makes them safer than SUVs.

[Bron Janulis]

Mike,

For the life of me, WTTW has me stumped. I'm sure this will be a "duh" moment.

P.S. Nothing but sympathy, empathy for the $790.80 bill; I seem to be having a year of reverse "Midas" myself, so I understand.

[Simon, Norfolk UK]

Live in a Victorian terraced house here in Norwich UK each house being about the width of a car. Street not wide enough to park on both sides so cars are half on the pavements too. Not only don't have a garage but often not room to park on my own street.Yeah pretty crowded in the uk. Prefer to cycle when not around the county visiting schools. Garage, sigh

[Mike Johnston]

"For the life of me, WTTW has me stumped."

Sorry! "Word to the wise."

Mike

[Mike Plews]

No day that ends with some Chet Baker can ever be a write off.
Last night we had some couch time with Concierto by Jim Hall. As you probably know it has Hall, Chet Baker and Paul Desmond making magic and throws in a lovely Pete Turner picture on the album cover to sweenen the deal.
I'm so old I bought the record when it first came out and it still leaves me happy.

[David Dyer-Bennet]

Garage door openers mean you don't have to stand in the rain (and get the inside of the door and maybe the seat rained on, depending on the wind). They also mean you don't have to leave your car sitting in the driveway running, worrying whether it'll drop into gear and run you down (apparently instances of this still happen). Finally, not having to ever get out of the car with the motor running means you can have a much simpler set of habit for key handling, making it less likely you'll find yourself with your keys locked into the car, sitting outside your garage, running.

Garages in general mean you don't have to stand in the rain, and you don't have to scrape frost off your car windows in the morning, and you don't have to brush snow off your car in the morning.

Attached garages, the most common in the USA, mean your grocery bags don't get rained on and fall apart on the sidewalk, and that you don't get nearly as cold between the house and the car (or vice versa) when it's -35C.

If you live in Southern California, or Italy, they're not nearly as important.

[Mike Johnston]

Mike Plews,
Just bought "Concierto" on your recommendation. Thanks!

Mike

[Mike Johnston]

DD-B makes an excellent point. I once lived in an apartment building in Chicago where I had to park in a row of cars out in the alley. I would allocate an extra 20-30 minutes every morning after a snow to dig the car out, as many other people were doing the same (with really nowhere for all the snow to go).

On one memorable morning, I worked assiduously to free the car, finally succeeded, and was preparing to get in and go--when the snowplow came through the alley, heaping a giant mound of snow directly in back of the car. Back inside to get the snow shovel. I was late to work.

Garages are VERY nice in snowy climates. We still shovel our driveway by hand, but it's short.

Mike

[Roger Bradbury]

Paul, I knew a guy who worked for a company here in the UK that built houses with too small garages. They had made the garages to the minimum dimensions allowed, but as they knew, in the many years since that specification had been drawn up cars had got lower and wider. It was possible to drive in, but not get out of the car unless you had a sunroof.

Anyway, garages are for motorcycles, not cars.

[Riley]

Geoff W.

Perhaps you should settle for a carport.

[Eolake Stobblehouse]

I just posted several real-life anecdotes about people with "less than optimal powers of observation"... one of them:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

[Steve Rosenblum]

Mike-It's a good thing that you got your garage door repaired before the first snows of the Wisconsin winter. Otherwise, I'm sure you could expect this
to happen! =D

[Timo]

Yeah, well, I once bought a house where the driveway was too narrow to get a (new to me) car INTO the garage.

I guess the fact that the previous owners had built a fence across said driveway should have been a clue about the usability of said driveway.

The garage itself stayed empty the whole time we lived there.

(Don't have a garage now.)

[Steve Smith]

They also mean you don't have to leave your car sitting in the driveway running, worrying whether it'll drop into gear and run you down.

Get a car with a manual gearbox!

Garages in general mean you don't have to stand in the rain, and you don't have to scrape frost off your car windows in the morning, and you don't have to brush snow off your car in the morning.

No one I know with a garage actually wastes that space by actually putting a car in it!

[Tom]

Hi Mike:

I am a little late to this post, but given where you live, you might relate to my experience with a garage door. I had just made an extravagant purchase: $350 carbon cross country ski poles. They were leaning upright near the garage door. I pressed the button to open the door and as the door rose it caught the strap of a pole. The pole remained upright long enough to poke into the ceiling of the garage. I then witnessed a contest between the opener motor and the pole. The motor strained, the pole bent and then burst into a cloud of carbon fiber dust. There have been other incidents, but I am unwilling to post them on a public forum.

Tom

[Mike Plews]

OT sorta. I just netflixed a little indy called "The Band's Visit".
It is a lovely movie about some Egyptian policemen marooned in Israel. The movie has a running Chet Baker gag in it.
Go figure.
Four stars.

[Mike Johnston]

Mike,
Have you ever seen "Too Beautiful for You"? There's a running Franz Schubert gag. Funny.

Mike

[Mike Plews]

No but I will put it on my list at Netflix

[Ann]

You reminded me of the day I was opening my garage, and the door folded in half. Diagonally. That was about $790.80, too.