Office Redesign at TOP Proves Controversial

Waukesha, WI — Despite periodic appeals to his public for funds, it has been revealed that Mike Johnston, Head Factotum and Chief Bottle-Washer of The Online Photographer, has recently spent profligately on office decor.

Among the alleged "necessities" for the office were a fine mustard-yellow injection-molded wastebasket by French designer Robert Maid, a spendy throw rug from Home Depot, a pair of antique Dynaco A-25 speakers from the 1970s that cost more than one hundred dollars—even though ones with chipped veneer often go for half that—and even a custom-made work of art.

"The old office just wasn't a fit for the style of the building. I'm sorry if it offends some peoples' sense of propriety, but I have to pay myself bonuses in order to keep getting good work out of myself," said Johnston, adding that he is "good people."

The redecorating is said to have run into the three figures, if you count the speakers. The useless expenditures have earned the online mogul a chorus of criticism.

"He's always going on at the end of every month about how we should make our Amazon purchases through his links, so he can get his precious kickbacks," said a reader who preferred to remain anonymous. "We thought he was spending that money to keep food on his table and his kid in high tops, and then he goes and spends twenty-one dollars on a poster? It's shameful."

The poster, an artistic representation of an unidentified guru giving some sort of enigmatic command [see below], actually cost $13.95 plus $6.99 shipping. Mr. Johnston was pleased at its high quality, calling it "worth the price."

Art experts said it is probably not a sound investment, despite its styliness.

Said another reader, "If they're not ethically questionable, expenditures like this are at least tone-deaf, in this economy."

Controversial artwork for which TOP head honcho is said to have paid 'well into two figures.'

In his defense, Johnston pointed out that other CEOs have recently purchased non-working commodes, and points out that the residential section of his office compound already had one of those. Maybe he'll think twice now about calling the plumber, for fear of appearing out of step with the times.

Or maybe not.

No reporters whatsoever contributed to this story.

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Comments

[Matt Davids]

Bravo! Just got done watching the story on the evening news... Did you spend any money on a new wardrobe by any chance?

[misha]

I live on eBay and Costco.

It's embarassing, really.

[Timo]

Ha! Excellent satire. And that Thain guy sure is a ripe target.

[Oronet Commander]

Outrageous! I was thinking about ordering a Leica M8.2 Safari via your B&H link but this time I'll pass.

[Mike Johnston]

"Did you spend any money on a new wardrobe by any chance?"

On the advice of my attorneys, I admit nothing.

Mike J.

[ctein]

Errrm, is that expensive art supposed to inspire or terrify???

pax / Ctein

[jr]

This is indeed a perfect example why the "bonus" culture running rampant in the CEO realm has to be examined and re-structured, perhaps even policed by the SEC.

President Obama was right when he used the term, "height of irresponsibility".

[John Roberts]

"People say I'm extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage?"
- Imelda Marcos

[Kent Whiting]

may I add ---- that this is the type of news reporting that keeps me coming back to this site. Much better than CNN or FOX

kman

[Sean]

No home office is complete without a something to impress the big wigs. I've a photograph of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore in mine. It really came in handy after I answered the door in my wife's purple bathrobe

[John Sarsgard]

If you take your corporate jet to New York to see Benson's show at MOMA, I will never click through here to B&H or Amazon again.

[Yuri]

Such obvious excess in this time of economic turmoil is bound to polarize, especially given the monthly, publicly financed bailouts of TOP.

[Rich Read]

This is outrageous! This is just the kind of blatant luxury expenditures that have caused the financial mess the world is in. The stock market will, no doubt, drop agian as a result of this benefit package.
Although, these purchases did create milli-seconds of employment for workers in the manufacturing sector and of course the retail employees so it is not all bad. The processing, printing and handling of the “PHOTOGRAPH!” of the unidentified guru may qualify for danger pay ;).

[Carl Leonardi]

Mike, Buying lots of stuff is good for the economy.
I just happen to have a great deal on a bridge near Brooklyn, NY.

[Chuck Kimmerle]

STEREO speakers, Mike? Two? Really? In these times of economic upheavals and downheavals, how can you justify such an unnecessary extravagance? I mean really, what's next, a silver Marantz stereo to hook them up to?

Shame, Mike. Shame, shame, shame.

[D. King]

I think it's safe to assume that he is in Washington right now pleading for bailout money to cover this extravagance.

[Clayton Lofgren]

There are some black spots on the poster, and some white ones on the print under it. Exif is not showing on the photo you posted.

[Paul]

Another example of how CEO's are out of touch with what is happening in the world around them. Really - Dynaco A-25's? Next we'll be reading about the latest 'investment' in vinyl technology.

[Nicholas Hartmann]

Are those CURTAINS I see on the window?! Some people...

[Mike Johnston]

"Really - Dynaco A-25's?"

Paul,
You laugh, but this is the speaker I really want:

http://wduk.worldomain.net/acatalog/SpkrKits.html

...Second one down. It's a modern replica of the A-25 in kit form! Put a nice EL-34 tube amp in front of those and you'd really have it goin' on.

I'm going to have to wait until the business is bought by a big bank before I do that, though. [g]

Mike

[Lambert]

"Errrm, is that expensive art supposed to inspire or terrify???"

I say terrify. In addition to your profligate ways, you pal around with terrorists too?

[Mike Johnston]

"you pall around with terrorists too?"

I think we're mixing our memes here now....

Mike J.

[John Camp]

That poster makes Ctein look like a guru who is experiencing ambivalence.

JC

[John Sartin]

My God! What's next? A corporate 69 Volkswagen bus? Where will it all end? Go ahead, keep fiddling while Rome burns.

[charlie d]

Hey hotshot.

You finally get rid of that excessively self indulgent Toyota Corolla and I might think about sending another $25 your way.

TOP = The Online Profligate

Some people...

[Rob Griffin]

Wow! The other day I think you said that you had finally bought a camera for yourself. So that inspired me to finally make a decision about which camera I was going to buy. I go ahead and order a camera through your Amazon link because I want to be a good supporter of your site and NOW you're out throwing money around like a common Wall Street HO-CEO. That Amazon kick-back money must really be stacking up.

Keep up the great work! Wish I had some a couple of those speakers myself.

Rob

[Mike Johnston]

"You finally get rid of that excessively self indulgent Toyota Corolla"

...I beg your pardon. It's a gleaming, svelte '99 Ford ZX2, I'll have you know. We have our corporate standards, you know.

*Sniff*

Mike J.

[Mike Johnston]

"Errrm, is that expensive art supposed to inspire or terrify???"

Actually, I'm hoping a little bit of both...[g]

Mike J.

[Michael Eckstein]

Just want to know if I log onto Amazon through your link and buy from one of their other listed sellers for an item, do you still get your commission?

For example I purchase a number of items regular through the Amazon link to Adorama Camera.

[mwg]

"Terrify" and "inspire" are actually not mutually exclusive. Sufficient terror will inspire most of us to do amazing things that we will usually come to regret later...

[Dennis Z]

Congrats Mike, you managed to score a poster of the elusive Cherry Garcia, seldom seen outside the realm of frozen dairy confections!

[charlie d]

It's a gleaming, svelte '99 Ford ZX2, I'll have you know.

Yes well, the 90's was the decade of excess after all.

[Mike Johnston]

"if I log onto Amazon through your link and buy from one of their other listed sellers for an item, do you still get your commission?"

Michael,
Yes, and thanks!

Mike J.

[Rick Barry]

Mike,
Nobody got Robert Maid?
Rick B

[cog]

where's the photo of the wastebasket?

[Jim]

Hmmph!

I note that this notice appeared AFTER I placed an order with Amazon using the TOP link this past week.

Coincidental timing?

One could assume not... Is this the type of corporate expenditure which is really behind the rumored price increase of Nikon gear starting on 2/1/09? Was the threat of a price increase simply floated in order to increase immediate sales through TOP links in order to fund Robert Maid wastebaskets? And why does the TOP office not support recycling? Why a "wastebasket"?

(Although a case could be made that the Robert Maid item was needed for an eventual storage place for the newly purchased artwork.)

I will check B&H tomorrow at 12:01 a.m. Eastern. If Nikon prices haven't actually gone up by 25% I will feel that I have been manipulated into a premature purchase in order to salve the wanton desires of the upper class gentry.

[ctein]

Dear JC,

I couldn't find "ambivalence" in any of my darkroom technique manuals.

That's something like "posterization," right?

pax / uninformed Ctein

[Eolake Stobblehouse]

I think I recognize the guy on the poster. Isn't he that guru who is enlightened and has foresworn the pleasures of the physical world, and therefore hardly uses his 99 Roll-Royces?

[Ben Rosengart]

Hahaha.

[Cyril]

I have no idea what news item this is supposed to be a satire of, but it's pretty funny anyway.

[Neil Douglas]

Shameless excess!!! That corkboard immediately beneath the artwork looks suspiciously high-end as well.

[Mike Johnston]

Cyril,
Google "John Thain office remodeling" and you'll find out more than you want to know.

John Thain is the now-outgoing head of Merrill Lynch. He was fired not so much for his $1.22 million office redecoration as for handing out bonuses while simultaneously sucking up public bailout money, but still, the $35,000 antique "commode" puts a human touch on his excess. As Jon Stewart commented, "Is there any greater metaphor for the dysfunction of our economy than a thirty-five thousand dollar toilet you cannot take a sh*t in?"

Mike J.

[Mike Johnston]

cog,
Here ya go.

http://tinyurl.com/cztacj

Mike J.

[Bill Bresler]

If this photography thing doesn't work out you could always write for The Onion.

[Bron Janulis]

Ctein,

I don't think breathing all those fumes has been good for your "color". I always knew the darkroom was worse than the other things I was inhaling, but nobody believed me.

Mike, if you have to make these unwarranted expenditures, you could at least, "buy American". Who the hell is this french designer, Rober Maid?

Bron

[cog]

"cog,
Here ya go.

http://tinyurl.com/cztacj"

heh. One of those, in the fancy white shade, lives right here next to my desk.