"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and said 'here's a picture of me when I was younger.'
"Every picture of you is when you were younger.
"It's like, 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.'
" 'You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like...?' "
- —Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005), from Strategic Grill Locations
Was this translated from some language other than English?
Posted by: Robert Walters | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 08:54 AM
You reminded of a line from Catch-22. In a conversation about a soldier who had died, someone said, "He died young", and I think Yossarian replied, "He's dead, you don't get any older than that."
(Apologies to Mr. Heller, I'm paraphrasing here, I don't have the actual quotes.)
Posted by: Robert Roaldi | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 09:08 AM
"Was this translated from some language other than English?"
It's Hedbergian. He had a very unique vocal style and delivery....
Mike J.
Posted by: Mike | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 09:18 AM
Robert Roaldi,
I saw a documentary about slaves in early Canada last night that recounted the story of a woman who appealed her conviction for arson. Her appeal was successful and her sentenced was reduced, but the reduced penalty was still... death.
I don't even know what words to use to describe such a concept.
Mike J.
Posted by: Mike | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 09:23 AM
The thing about less death being still death sounds pretty much a like the mathematic rule, infinty divided or minus any number different from infinity is still infinity.
There's this great quote from Unforgiven:
"It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
Posted by: Max | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 10:32 AM
Wow. Maybe in those days the courts were allowed to sentence someone to "a fate worse than death". Sometimes I wonder how future historians (or bloggers for that matter) will think about OUR times.
Civilization might be a thin veneer. A friend of mine used this line once, "We're just three meals away from total anachy."
Posted by: Robert Roaldi | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 10:56 AM
Not sure about the passage in the book, but from Catch-22 the film:
Yossarian: He was very old.
Luciana: But he was a boy!
Yossarian: Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
Posted by: Robin Harrison | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 11:57 AM
My mother once showed me a photo of my grandmother standing in front of her house. With the immortal line:
"This is your grandmother - that was taken before she died" !
Posted by: Chris Shepherd | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 12:54 PM
"You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older
And now you're older still."
Posted by: Paul De Zan | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 02:48 PM
Thanks Robin, I can't find my copy of the book. I think what you gave is closer to the original than what I remembered.
Posted by: Robert Roaldi | Thursday, 18 October 2007 at 10:21 PM
I Love this site
Posted by: Steve | Friday, 19 October 2007 at 12:29 PM
Mike,
I love Mitch Hedberg. Unfortunately, he will not be "getting any older" and I will miss his hilarious, skewed takes on the world. Another great joke I read in the NY Times article on Mitch after his untimely death:
"I love rice. It's great when you're hungy and want 2,000 of something."
According to many comments on Amazon, "Mitch All Together" is a better comedy cd than "Strategic Grill Locations" and hearing outtakes of both on XM Radio I would agree that Mitch was in better form on "Mitch All Together." I think there is some overlap of material between the two.
Posted by: JRA | Monday, 22 October 2007 at 02:28 PM