If Guys Wrote Advice Columns

My friend Mary sent me this joke this morning. Maybe this would be what the world would be like if men wrote advice columns; plus, it seems to bear on some recent comments about technique vs. "vision."

A woman writes to "Dear Fred," an advice columnist.

Dear Fred:

I really need your help. I was driving to work, and I was only a block from home when the car stalled and would not re-start even thought I had  plenty of gas. I walked back home to discover my husband prancing around the house in my make-up and underwear. He tried to say that he was just out of underwear, but finally admitted he had been wearing my clothes for about a year. He lost his job 18 months ago and has been near-suicidal with depression. I don't want to push him over the edge, but I am really at a loss as what to do. I can't eat or sleep. Please help.

Signed,

A worried wife

Dear worried wife:

It sounds like a problem with the fuel injector. I would take the cap off, wipe down all of the connections and replace any worn caps, and try to restart it. Check the hoses for leaks, and change the spark plugs. Good luck.

Fred

___________________

Mike (Thanks to Mary N.)

Comments

[Jan]

LOL. The answer is that you need both. An artist without technique will not go far. And a technical expert without an 'eye' will never create anything captivating.

And that is not limited to photography or visual arts. If you watched this week's episode of Top Chef, the judges were torn between the chef who lacked vision and the chef who lacked execution. Which one do you send home? In the end the picked the one who lacked execution.

On purely this notion I'm not sure that's what I would have done. It's easier to learn technique than it is to make up for a lack of vision. For one there are books and manuals, I'm not sure how you teach 'vision'.

[Claire Senft]

I am no mechanic. It does sound to me to be excellent advice. Perhaps it may have helped to advise her to keep a can of gas in the trunk.

I do not know the people involved but telling the lady to always carry a camera is always good advice. You can never tell what oportunities you may miss.

[Andreas]

Yes, cool joke. This is why there is so much FUD around photography.

[Michael Seltzer]

I hate these kinds of jokes. They are just man-bashing. No man would answer her in such a hyper-focused way. Clearly this could also be an air in-take problem, fuel line problem, or even a fault in the OBC!

[ben ng]

the husband is obviously from England.
The car's problem is simple; her husband had replaced the fan-belt with her tights. the tights were not up to it.

[charlie d]

Oh boy, that is funny!

[Mike]

PIalert*

Now dear, are you absolutely sure you've not run out of petrol?

* Political incorrectness alert

[Robert Roaldi]

I wrote a blog a year ago about an aspect of this very topic:

http://roberts-rants.blogspot.com/2006/10/advice-for-wives.html

Robert Roaldi

[Kainnon]

My response would have been:

"Sometimes they just need a good push start, and maybe some encouraging words. The spare tire may be weighing things down a bit, so off-load some of the extra weight. See if a close friend is around, extra help can really get an engine going."

[Dean]

Or, if men wrote to advice columns...

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on
what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now
that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although
when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work,
you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she
always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off,
as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she
wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what
time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never
touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep
down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went
out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley next to the garage and then
hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when
she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley,
that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be
leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the
dealer?

Thanks, Bob