Medical science cannot cure the common cold. Add to that that human engineering and materials science apparently is incapable of creating a dog's chew toy that a) squeaks and b) that my quarter-pit cannot rip to shreds in a matter of minutes.
Take for instance one particular $9 pet shop toy widely advertised as "indestructible" (the ongoing experiment at TOP World HQ has comprised a statistically significant sampling):
"Indestructible" squeaky toy's best record: approx. 1 hour and 50 minutes (in timed 15 minute daily sessions)
Lulu's best record destroying the same $9 "indestructible" squeaky toy: approx. 7 minutes 30 seconds.
Lulu's groomer Nicole also has a bully-breed who is larger and even stronger and more exuberant than Lulu, which is saying...well, a lot. I asked her if there was such a thing as an indestructible squeaky toy, and her answer was a very emphatic "NO!!" She said she even found a chew toy advertised as "tiger tested," which supposedly survived being gnawed on by full-grown tigers. Her part-pit had it strewn all over her living room in an hour.
This seems like a challenge that humanity ought to be up to, now that it's 2014, but guess not. Just sayin'.
"Open Mike" is TOP's weekly ramble in the park. Published occasionally on Sundays. A day late this week, and yes, Yr. Hmbl. Ed. is also typically a dollar short.
Original contents copyright 2014 by Michael C. Johnston and/or the bylined author. All Rights Reserved. Links in this post may be to our affiliates; sales through affiliate links may benefit this site.
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Featured Comments from:
Rick Grant: "When I saw the title of this post in my RSS reader I jumped into it straightaway in the hopes of finding the indestructible squeaky dog toy. But alas, there has not been a breakthrough in toy technology. I keep Border Collies and there isn't a squeaky toy that a Border Collie cannot reduce to fragments within half an hour. But for some perverse reason I keep buying them, only to be bitterly disappointed."
darr: "Human engineering and materials science do not equal the indestructible willpower and determination of a bored canine."