I've had my problems lately. For one thing, I cannot seem to take a decent picture. Do you ever go through those dry spells? Sometimes I've felt I could take good shots in my sleep—or at least every time I pick up a camera. Not recently. My best shots lately are only competent, and sometimes not even that. I've been flailing around like a tyro. I have to do something...get out more, work harder. Something.
I'm also dealing with some annoying glimmers of "old man problems." I'm 52, which is not old, although it is undeniably middle-aged. Those of you who are 40 or older but not yet 45 can take heart—a few years ago, the DSM IV, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of the psychiatric profession, revised middle age upwards, defining it as 45–65 instead of 40–60 as it had been defined previously. Seems people are living longer, and are remaining healthier and more active longer, so they extended young adulthood. If you're 44, you are—officially!—not middle aged yet.
I, on the other hand, take naps. Young adults don't take naps.
A number of years ago, my brother complained about a dog that raised its leg on a fire hydrant. "That's such a cliché," he said (still makes me laugh). Similarly, my nascent old-man problems are annoying clichés too (because, after all, I know some genuinely old men who are pretty young at heart, and in mind). For one, I'm becoming a bit of a pack-rat. Where'd that come from? I responded to the encroaching clutter in my house by buying a book about dealing with clutter. I read it enthusiastically, and learned a lot about clutter and what to do about it. So now I know. I just haven't done anything about it, is all. That book is still around here somewhere. Probably buried under some stacks of papers.
I'm also telling my son the same stories over and over. That's more annoying to him than it is to me, but it's annoying enough to me. When I was younger I told myself I wasn't going to do that. But I do it anyway.
And I've gotten cheap, too. Has anyone bought a Kindle 2 yet? If so, do you like it? Was it worth what it cost? I really want one, but I can't seem to pull the trigger on actually spending the money.
It would probably help with the clutter, a lot of which is books.
I think it's an old man thing: a tendency towards miserliness starting to manifest, like a case of hives.
A more serious consequence of my nascent miserliness is that I really want a Sony A900, but I can't seem to bring myself to actually buy the thing. I have the money, and photography is my "thing," after all, and I could probably make the camera pay for itself in a year or two. What I'm saying is, it doesn't even need rationalizing. But I can't seem to pull the trigger on the purchase.
It's very annoying to me that Sony has ported so many lenses over from the old Minolta versions, but not the one I want most; I tell myself that that's why I'm not plunking down for the A900. Yeah, that's it.
But I suspect it's really because I'm too cheap to spend $3k and watch it slowly (or not so slowly) dissipate down to nothing. I should just buy the damn thing. In this case, miserliness is counter-productive.
It's bad enough having finished my curmudgeon training several years ago, and being a full-fledged one of those. It's worse watching yourself become a cliché, right before your own eyes.
Okay, time for my nap.
UPDATE: Thanks for all the great comments. I feel much better now.