It seems that perfectly innocent young girls keep growing up to be women who like sex, an ongoing commercial and social problem. The latest scandale du jour revolves around a just-revealed Annie Leibovitz portrait of one Miley Cyrus in this week's Vanity Fair that is causing outrage and concern among parents from coast to coast. The 15-year-old Cyrus, star of Disney's relentlessly wholesome and even more relentlessly profitable "Hannah Montana" franchise, was pictured by Leibovitz in a pose that is unrevealing but, well, unwholesome. The problem? Young girls look up to "Hannah Montana" as a role model, and parents do not want them thinking that they might grow up to be women who like sex.
The solution proposed by T.O.P.? Better role models. We have an obvious suggestion. She's smart. She's progressive. She does well in school. She takes fashion cues from Barbara Bush (the pearls). She's a vegetarian. True, she's orange, but that's probably the carrot juice. She plays jazz saxophone, fer cryin' out loud—how cool is that? And although a dalliance with Milhouse is sometimes suggested, it has never been hinted to be unwholesome. Finally, after seventeen years of being eight, it appears highly unlikely that she is ever going to do anything so inconvenient and potentially commercially disastrous as mature. D'oh! Perfect.
Mike (Photo credit: Vanity Fair)
Featured Comment by Cyril: "I hate to disagree with the editor of this site but my vote goes for Dora the explorer. At least she knows how to dress, and she's even been going green lately—now how cool is that for a role model. Of course she also has an unclear relationship with a monkey wearing rubber-boots, but I'm sure she can explain."
Miley Cyrus and Annie Leibovitz. Photo Credit: Vanity Fair magazine