"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and said 'here's a picture of me when I was younger.'
"Every picture of you is when you were younger.
"It's like, 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.'
" 'You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like...?' "
- —Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005), from Strategic Grill Locations